ADHD traits such as forgetfulness and impulsivity are often viewed as ‘bad behavior’ while growing up. Kids with ADHD might get punished for these things that are actually due to their brains working differently. So what happens when these kids grow up into adults with ADHD? Some might continue to punish themselves.

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye breaks down why the threat of punishment is not the most effective motivator for people with ADHD, and gives some tips that can help end the cycle. 

Related resources

• Masking ADHD symptoms to go above and beyond (René Brooks’ story)
• Behavior: What is it and how can parents affect it?  
• 7 discipline tips when your child has ADHD

Timestamps

(00:41) René’s quote

(02:18) ADHD is not defiance

(05:01) Ways we punish ourselves

(06:28) How can we motivate ourselves without punishment?

(11:05) Recap

For a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at [email protected]

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Monogamous romantic relationships have been seen as the norm for a long time. They’re the kind most commonly represented in the media, often as the only “right” kind of relationship. However, open relationships, polyamory, and other consensual non-monogamous relationships are more common than you might think. People with ADHD often find ways of living life outside of the typical standard. This could include being non-monogamous!

Martha Kauppi is a marriage and family therapist and sex therapist. She is the author of the book Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients). Listen to this conversation on jealousy, reaching agreements with your partner, and what consensual non-monogamy really is.

Related resources

• Polyamory: A Clinical Toolkit for Therapists (And Their Clients) by Martha Kauppi
• 8 Steps To Opening Up: Starting The Conversation About Non-Monogamy, a Free eBook by Martha Kauppi
• Martha Kauppi’s website, www.instituteforrelationalintimacy.com

Timestamps

(00:55) Why learn about consensual non-monogamy?

(04:04) What is consensual non-monogamy?

(05:36) What is the biggest misconception about non-monogamy?

(08:40) Building a relationship that works for you, not just what you see in the media

(11:46) Viewing non-monogamy as an option in life

(15:42) Moving toward consensual non-monogamy in a relational way

(21:03) How would you start a conversation about opening your currently monogamous relationship?

(24:20) Tips for working through jealousy 

(25:35) What is compersion?

(30:13) It’s OK if non-monogamy isn’t for you! 

(32:10) Where can you find Martha? 

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Imagine sitting down for a meal, but somehow, you can’t quite focus on the food in front of you. You’re either distracted by the things around you, or the never-ending to-do list in your head. For many women with ADHD, eating often feels like an afterthought.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains how ADHD impacts eating habits. From planning meals in advance to impulsive eating and forgetting to eat altogether. Listen as she shares the unique challenges women face in maintaining healthy eating patterns. And learn ways to have a more balanced relationship with food.

Related resources

• ADHD and women
• ADHD and diet
• ADHD and eating disorders

Timestamps

(01:19) Types of eating issues

(04:51) ADHD, forgetfulness, and eating

(05:50) How to practice healthy eating patterns

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

How to ADHD creator Jessica McCabe has been the source of many ADHD “aha” moments — so what were her ADHD “aha” moments? 

Jessica was diagnosed when she was 12 years old but didn’t start to look into what ADHD meant for her until she was 32. Taking ADHD medication felt like putting on glasses — experiencing the world as everyone else did. But she didn’t have the skills and strategies to cope with ADHD.

So, she started making YouTube videos...and the rest is history. Listen in as Jessica answers Laura’s many questions, including: What’s it like for her to be a new mom with ADHD? Does she ever get a vulnerability hangover? And why doesn’t she think she’s cool? 

Related resources

• Jessica’s YouTube channel, How to ADHD
• All about ADHD medication
• Understanding trouble with social skills

Timestamps

(03:08) How Jessica feels about being involved in so many people’s “aha” moment

(04:55) Jessica’s diagnosis story at age 12 

(06:16) Jessica’s ADHD medication “aha” moment

(07:33) The creation of Jessica’s YouTube channel How to ADHD

(11:29) Jessica on social anxiety

(14:07) Busting ADHD medication stigma

(16:52) ADHD and new motherhood

(22:49) Going back to work after maternity leave

(26:01) Laura’s rapid-fire questions

(31:49) Jessica’s parting words

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the ADHD Aha! podcast page at Understood.

Want to share your ADHD “aha” moment? We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

People with ADHD can be out-of-the-box thinkers and great problem solvers. A lot of people may actually go to them for help solving difficult problems. But, what happens when they have to solve their own challenges? 

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye unpacks why it can be harder for people with ADHD to help themselves with their own challenges. Listen for some tips that can help. 

Related resources

• Advice from a career coach with ADHD and dyslexia
• ADHD and creativity

Timestamps

(00:47) Alex’s quote

(02:30) ADHDer problem solving — for others vs. ourselves

(05:42) ADHDers problem solving for other ADHDers and demand avoidance

(09:04) How can we problem-solve for ourselves?

(12:39) Recap and credits

For a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.org

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at [email protected]

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Have you ever spent hours getting ready for a social event, only to feel that same knot of anxiety when it’s time to go? Or maybe you avoid social events altogether, worried you’ll say the wrong thing.  

For some women, juggling ADHD and social anxiety can feel like an ongoing fight. In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson dives into the connection between ADHD and social anxiety. Watch as she breaks down ways ADHD can make social situations overwhelming. And get tips on how to better manage social interactions.

Related resources

• ADHD and women
• ADHD and anxiety

Timestamps

(01:11) What is social anxiety disorder?

(04:28) What does research say about ADHD and social anxiety?

(07:22) Strategies for managing social anxiety

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

If you have ADHD, the science says you’re much more likely to have a substance use disorder in your life than someone who’s neurotypical. 

ADHD brains often lack dopamine. Drugs and alcohol can provide a hit of dopamine, albeit a temporary one. That’s why it’s so common for people with untreated ADHD to self-medicate. 

Elaine O’Brien used to fit that ADHD archetype to a tee. Eventually, though, she entered recovery and also started practicing Ashtanga yoga, a style that she describes as “very rigorous and very codified.”

She fell for the physicality of the practice and the routine it demands. “It got me in my body and I started to feel good,” she says. “I really started to feel good.”

For years, Elaine had struggled with substance issues and untreated ADHD. She’s been in recovery for almost two decades but recently began to wonder if the ADHD diagnosis she’d rejected in high school might actually be right.

How did her journey take this path? Listen to this week’s Hyperfocus episode to find out. 

Related resources

• Elaine’s studio: Second Story Pilates and Yoga
• Study: Medication reduces risk of drug abuse for people with ADHD
• ADHD and addiction: Knowledge is power
• Does exercise help ADHD?

Timestamps

(3:04) Elaine’s diagnosis story

(7:09) ADHD and substance use

(13:52) Exercise and sobriety

(19:28) “Isn’t your job to help people calm down?”

To get a transcript of this show and check out more episodes, visit the Hyperfocus podcast page at Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

People with ADHD can benefit from having routines and systems that help them cope. But, what happens when life comes into play and throws that routine off?

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about what can happen when we get thrown off our game by special life circumstances like getting sick or moving. Listen for some tips that can help get you back on track.

Related resources

• ADHD and hormones (Cate Osborn’s story)

Timestamps

(00:51) Cate’s quote

(02:39) ADHD and hormones

(03:58) “Exception moments,” or temporary states when our life is a bit different than usual

(06:15) How can we help ourselves during these periods?

(11:29) Recap

For a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood page on Understood.org

Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Have you ever been called a “manic pixie dream girl” by someone you were dating? Is it hard to remember your partner when they’re not with you? ADHD can bring its own set of challenges to dating, and romantic relationships.

Producer Margie visits the podcast to share what she’s found on the ADHD Women subreddit, where women with ADHD ask questions and share their challenges and wins. Listen for Cate’s reactions and a chat about common romantic dilemmas for women with ADHD!

Related resources

• The ADHD Women subreddit
• ADHD Support for Women by Understood.org’s Facebook group

Timestamps

(00:00) Women with ADHD communities, and common dating tropes

(03:46) Post #1 “I was too much for him”

(06:37) Post #2 “I did 12 loads of laundry to avoid writing a dating profile”

(11:56) Post #3 “Anyone else chronically feel like they’re not in a place where they’re ready to date?”

(16:27) Post #4 “Having ADHD as a woman and still having to carry the mental load”

(22:20) Post #5 “The ADHD struggle of falling in love after every good date”

(27:04) Post #6 “Does anyone else struggle with accidentally ignoring their partner or friends?”

(34:28) Talking about what gives us shame helps everyone

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This page on Understood.org

We love hearing from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Many women with ADHD face the constant struggle of ADHD combined with depression. It’s a battle that affects every part of their lives. And the weight of these challenges often leaves them feeling drained and discouraged.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson breaks down the connection between ADHD and depression. Listen as she explains how ADHD symptoms might be misinterpreted as depression. And learn ways to manage struggles with depression.

Related resources

• ADHD and depression
• Did my ADHD make me more likely to have postpartum depression?
• Signs and symptoms of ADHD in adults

Timestamps

(01:33) Common symptoms of ADHD and depression

(06:36) How ADHD and depression affect each other

(09:03) Ways to manage ADHD and depression   

To get a transcript and check out more episodes, visit the MissUnderstood channel at Understood.

We love to hear from our listeners. Email us at [email protected].

Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give