We’re picking up where we left off last time on Hyperfocus for the conclusion of our two-part series on the R-word’s resurgence. 

Today, we meet a comedy writer who shares his personal evolution with the word and hear from a disability advocate. 

We’ll also learn more from our research correspondent, Dr. KJ Wynne, and have producer Cody Nelson back on to hear from host Rae Jacobson about what she’s learned. 

• Andrea Moore Arts
• Craig Thomas’ upcoming novel
• Dr. Chris Cipriano’s website

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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Ever wondered if your therapist gets you, or if therapy is even working? You’re not alone. This week, Dr. Elizabeth Kilmer is back to unpack the complicated, sometimes confusing, always human relationship between therapist and client (especially when ADHD is in the mix).

Host Cate Osborn and Elizabeth dig into how different types of therapy work, how to tell if therapy is actually helping, and what kinds of conversations are and aren’t fair game in the therapy room. Whether you’re starting therapy for the first time or reevaluating a long-term fit, this conversation will help you trust your instincts and advocate for what you need.

Related resources

• Dr. Kilmer’s website, elizabethkilmer.com
• Treatment for mental health issues
• Dialectical behavior therapy: What you need to know
• Cognitive behavioral therapy: What is CBT?

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:43) What inspired this episode

(01:53) Relationship between therapist and client basics

(04:45) How do we know if a therapist is a good fit for us?

(06:50) What is a ‘therapeutic modality’? What is a ‘manualized treatment’?

(09:36) How do we know if therapy working?

(13:51) How do we give feedback to our therapist?

(17:29) How do we breakup with a therapist?

(19:35) What do we talk about in therapy?

(23:52) What do we do if we don’t have access to therapy?

(26:09) Advice on how to start therapy

(29:22) Outro and credits

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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Many women with ADHD struggle to manage their emotions. Strong feelings like anger, sadness, and guilt tend to come on fast and feel hard to control. This can make everyday life feel confusing and overwhelming.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains how ADHD makes it harder to manage emotions. Find out why feelings like anger, sadness, and frustration can feel so strong for ADHD women to manage. And learn effective strategies to help you deal with these emotions.

Related resources

• Tips from an ADHD Coach: Psychological safety
• ADHD and emotions
• MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

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Last year, Rae and Cody at Team Hyperfocus noticed something unnerving: The R-word was coming back into public discourse. People, especially people in power, seemed to be using it more often, and more freely. 

We weren’t the only ones who’d spotted this upsetting trend. Researchers, disability advocates, and other journalists were also concerned. If this word, long considered a slur, was being used by some very powerful people, what did that mean for people with disabilities?

So we dove in, talking to researchers, members of the community, and even a famous comedy writer. (You’ll see!) And we surfaced with another, deeper question: 

If the R-word can, and does, cause harm, how do you get people to care? 

Related resources

• Spread the Word campaign
• Disability Discourse Matters
• The ‘R-Word’ Is Back. How a Slur Became Renormalized (Special Olympics)
• Rosa’s Law

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Do you have a lot of clutter in your home? Does this clutter prevent you from doing other things, like finding the things you need, or inviting guests over? 

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye discusses how it’s common for those of us with ADHD to have a lot of clutter in our home — clutter that we have a lot of emotional connection to, and also, a lot of frustration about.

This is also the last episode of Tips from an ADHD Coach. Find Jaye on her socials below!

Related resources

• Jaye’s website, jayelin.com
• Jaye’s instagram, @adhdjaye
• Jaye's other podcast, Now Presenting: ADHD
• ADHD and messiness

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:52) Carly’s quote

(02:35) ADHD and clutter

(07:18) What can we do if we want to organize/get rid of our clutter?

(12:19) Recap

(13:30) Credits

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Forget what you’ve seen in movies: BDSM isn’t one-size-fits-all. As Dr. Leann Borneman explains, it’s more of an à la carte menu where consent, communication, and personal boundaries come first. You can take what works for you and leave the rest.

Host Cate Osborn talks with clinical sexologist Dr. Borneman about the intersection of BDSM, neurodivergence, and executive function. They explore how some people with ADHD use parts of BDSM, like structure, sensory input, and clearly defined roles. These can help support attention, reduce overwhelm, and build emotional regulation.

Listen as Cate and Leann challenge outdated assumptions, and learn how destigmatizing your desires can help you show up more fully in your life.

Related resources

• Leann’s website, bornemancoaching.com
• Leann’s dissertation, The Intersection of ADHD and BDSM Engagement in Heterosexual Women

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:48) A comment from Cate on stigma

(02:35) BDSM as a coping strategy, not just a preference

(03:58) Society’s stigma versus the scientific research

(06:37) Pick and choose what works for you, you don’t have to label yourself

(10:53) ADHD and sexuality: Incapability versus lack of access

(13:10) What is causing this lack of access to good sex?

(17:27) Unmasking is key to authenticity and figuring out what you like

(19:11) BDSM creates space for safety through it’s collaborative and consentful nature

(21:54) Leann’s advice for those curious about BDSM and kink

(24:33) Outro and credits

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Many women with ADHD often forget things, like where they left their keys or what they needed to buy at the store. This forgetfulness can make daily life feel frustrating and hard to handle.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson explains how ADHD can lead to forgetfulness. Find out how this ADHD symptom affects women in unique ways. And learn helpful strategies to better manage it.

Related resources

• ADHD and women
• ADHD symptoms in women
• MissUnderstood: The ADHD in Women Channel

Timestamps

(03:08) Why ADHD forgetfulness sparks feelings of shame
(05:19) Effects of forgetfulness 
(06:56) Strategies to manage ADHD-related forgetfulness 

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Have you been told you’re “too dramatic”? Have people responded to the way you’ve reacted to things with invalidating statements, like “it’s not that big of a deal,” “you’re overreacting,” or “you’re too sensitive”?

This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about how ADHD can make it harder for us to manage our emotional responses and how this can create a snowball effect of negative emotions.

Related resources

• Trouble with self-regulation: What to know
• ADHD and emotions

Timestamps

(00:00) Intro

(00:45) Janice’s quote

(02:50) ADHD and emotional regulation

(06:00) Impulsivity and big feelings

(08:19) What can we do?

(14:37) Recap

(15:55) Credits

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected]

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Grief can be overwhelming for anyone — but for people with ADHD, it can show up in surprising ways.

Therapist Rachel Hopkins joins host Cate Osborn to unpack the intersection of ADHD and grief. They discuss how time blindness, emotional intensity, and memory challenges can shape the grieving process — and how ADHDers might mourn in nonlinear, unconventional ways. Rachel also offers some insights for anyone struggling to grieve “the right way” while living with a neurodivergent brain.

Related resources

• From the ADHD Aha! Podcast, Love and grief with ADHD (Steve Wesley’s story)
• Grief-Fueled ADHD: Strategies to Manage A Complex Combination by Rachel Hopkins
• The Invisible String by Patrice Karst
• The Grand Hotel of Feelings by Lidia Brankovíc

Timestamps

(00:48) A word from Cate on ADHD and grief

(03:05) Nonlinear ADHD grief

(06:11) Executive function challenges and grief

(09:34) Emotional regulation and planning immediately following a loss

(11:03) Time perception challenges and processing grief

(15:34) Rejection sensitivity and worrying about others’ judgement of our grieving

(20:19) Balancing distraction and avoidance

(26:24) The importance of acknowledging that your ADHD will affect your grief, and celebrating your wins

(27:29) ADHD and delayed grief reactions

(29:30) Advice for neurotypical people supporting an ADHDer through grief

(30:44) Rachel’s last thoughts and advice for any ADHDer going through grief right now

For a transcript and more resources, visit the Sorry, I Missed This show page on Understood.org. 

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Many women often feel overwhelmed at work. But for those with ADHD, the stress can be even greater.

In this episode, Dr. Monica Johnson takes a closer look at how ADHD manifests differently in women at work. Learn about common stressors women with ADHD face. And get strategies on how to better manage workplace stress and feel more in control.

Related resources

• ADHD and women
• 5 ways ADHD can affect you at work
• Sorry, I Missed This: ADHD and self-advocacy at work

Timestamps

(00:00) How ADHD impacts work performance

(00:00) Common workplace stressors 

(00:00) Ways to manage workplace stress

For a transcript and more resources, visit the MissUnderstood channel page on Understood.org. 

We love hearing from our listeners! Email us at [email protected].

Understood.org is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.