The ADHD Channel for Women

Many people with inattentive ADHD feel like something is missing from their diagnosis. That missing piece might be cognitive disengagement syndrome, or CDS: a cluster of symptoms including daydreaming, confusion, daytime sleepiness, and more.

CDS isn’t officially its own disorder. But scientists and clinicians are beginning to recognize it as something distinct from ADHD — though it often overlaps.

Pediatric psychologist Melissa Miller explains how CDS differs from ADHD, what it looks like, and why it’s linked to anxiety and depression. She also shares early research on treatment, plus the strengths that may come with it.

For more on this topic

For a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever notice your ADHD brain gets a little too excited during an argument? Like you’re not even mad anymore, you’re just... having a really good time being right? Yeah. There’s a reason for that, and it’s not a great one.

In this mailbag episode of Sorry, I Missed This, host Cate Osborn is digging into questions from our Understood Facebook group

Our amazing listeners wrote in (and had the chance to win a copy of Cate’s new book, The ADHD Field Guide for Adults). In this episode Cate tackles questions like how to share a new ADHD diagnosis with friends and family, how to wade through the swamp of ADHD motivation, why our ADHD brains LOVE to argue, and more. 

Check it out!

For more on this topic 

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

“You’re not living up to your potential.” If those words have haunted you, you’re not alone — and the story you’ve been telling yourself about why might be wrong.

Dr. J breaks down two patterns she sees in her ADHD clients: the person who checked out after years of “you’re smart, you just don’t apply yourself”; and the high achiever whose color-coded planners are hiding total exhaustion. 

She digs into research on ADHD and perfectionism, and why so many women spend decades masking or overachieving without ever getting a diagnosis.

Then, five concrete strategies: 

Your potential was never a ceiling you kept failing to reach. It’s a launching pad — and you get to define it.

For more on this topic 

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Money is one of the biggest sources of conflict in relationships — and for people with ADHD, it comes with an extra layer of shame most people don’t talk about.

Cate sits down with Dr. Christine Hargrove, a financial therapist who specializes in ADHD, to unpack why money fights escalate so fast, why who’s the “mental load carrier” matters more than who earns more, and why people with ADHD often give better financial advice to their friends than they follow themselves.

Christine breaks down the concept of “money meaning” — the idea that when couples fight about spending, they’re rarely fighting about the actual dollars. They discuss financial self-efficacy, the five types of couple coping (and which ones actually work), and why body doubling might be the most underrated financial tool for ADHD brains.

Cate also opens up about her own history with compulsive spending, debt, and the shame that kept her from asking for help — and what finally changed.

If you’ve ever felt “bad with money” or avoided opening an app because of what you might see, this episode is for you.

For more on this topic

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Does replying to a text feel harder than it should? Or do you struggle when someone reminds you to do something you were already planning to do? In this episode, Dr. J breaks down the real science behind ADHD avoidance: how the nervous system mistakes tasks for threats, why perfectionism makes starting feel risky, and what actually happens in your brain before a shutdown. Plus, practical strategies to interrupt the avoidance loop without shame, force, or another failed to-do list.

For more on this topic 

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Fidget toys, like NeeDohs, are sold out and  banned in classrooms. Journalist Anna North joins us to unpack how fidget toys went from gag gifts to a generational obsession, and what that shift reveals about neurodivergence, attention, and play. Plus, fidget toys are not just for kids. We look at how they are destigmatizing fidgeting for neurodivergent adults. And we dig into the science behind fidgeting, the history of the fidget spinner, and whether this wave of acceptance for sensory needs will survive. 

For more on this topic:  

For a transcript and more resources, visit Hyperfocus on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Ever feel like you’re the “parent” in your relationship — managing everything while your partner just... coasts? You’re not alone. And it’s not just you being controlling. 

Host Cate Osborn talks with ADHD coach Kristen Carder (host of I Have ADHD, author of the upcoming You’re Not in Trouble) about why ADHD relationships so easily slide into parent-child dynamics, and how to climb back out.

They get into why resentment is the red flag to watch for, and Kristen’s favorite mantra for “de-centering” an overfunctioning partner (“there is no sun — we’re equals here”). Plus eldest daughter syndrome, and why chicken nuggets for dinner is sometimes the healthiest choice you’ll make all day.

Honest, funny, and genuinely useful if you’ve ever wondered whether you’re parenting your partner instead of loving them.

For more on this topic 

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Boredom isn’t just annoying for ADHD brains. It can feel unbearable, even painful. Dr. J breaks down the real science behind why: dopamine sensitivity, warped time perception, and an overactive default mode network. 

Learn why boredom fuels doomscrolling, impulsive spending, avoidance spirals, and relationship friction. Then get four practical strategies to work with your brain instead of against it, from micro-rewards to environmental design to building genuine boredom tolerance.

For more on this topic 

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Does ADHD really mean poor self-control? Or is that the myth that’s been making everything harder? 

Dr. Polaris Koi is a philosopher who studies ADHD and self-regulation (and is an ADHDer themselves). In this episode, Cate and Polaris get into why “just try harder” is not only unhelpful advice — it’s based on science that most researchers don’t even believe anymore. 

They talk about why impulsivity in ADHD adults rarely looks like the textbook version (hi, compulsive shopping and 3 a.m. tattoo urges). How shame and anxiety make executive function worse. And why learning to work with your brain’s patterns beats white-knuckling your way through every temptation. Plus why some ADHDers end up over-controlled — which comes with its own set of problems. 

If you’ve ever told yourself you’re just lazy, bad at relationships, or fundamentally broken because you can’t seem to get it together, this one’s for you. 

For more on this topic

For a transcript and more resources, visit Sorry, I Missed This on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.

Family vacations are supposed to be fun. So why do they feel like a project you can’t stop managing?

If you have ADHD, travel is basically a multi-day test of your executive functions. Between planning paralysis, sensory overload, sleep disruptions, and lack of routine, vacations can leave you feeling more stressed than refreshed. And the strain can be even worse for women, who tend to carry a disproportionate amount of the mental load for a family.

In preparation for your Independence Day travels, Dr. J breaks down exactly why trips are so draining for ADHD brains. And she shares five practical strategies to help you actually relax on your next vacation. Happy July 4th!

For more on this topic 

For a transcript and more resources, visit The ADHD Channel for Women on Understood.org. You can also email us at [email protected].

Getting your child the support they need at school shouldn’t feel like a fight. But for millions of families, it does. In Zero Reject, an investigative podcast from Understood.org, award-winning journalist Anya Kamenetz looks at how changing federal policies are reshaping special education — and what’s at stake for families trying to access the support their children are legally entitled to. Start listening now.

Understood is a nonprofit where millions of people who are navigating neurodivergence find clear guidance, practical tools, and people who get it. To help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/podcast-donate.

Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.