We’re on baby watch at News Weakly HQ! Two weeks off incoming—don’t unsubscribe! I’ll be back once I’ve defeated a boss-level nappy.

Also: I’m doing a one-night-only 20th anniversary stand-up show:

You'd Think After 20 Years I'd Be Better At This

13 Nov, 6:30pm — Comedy Republic (Melbourne)

Patreon members get a discount code (see the pinned post at patreon.com/samishah). Otherwise, tickets via comedyrepublic.com.au.

Top stories of the week

• Ceasedfire, News Now…
• Israel and Hamas sign onto Phase One of “The Comprehensive End to the Gaza War”: hostages (living and deceased) returned, prisoner releases, and an IDF pullback to the “yellow line.” Trump promises a pyramid-side signing ceremony, because of course he does. Netanyahhu’s far-right partners rage; Gaza readies aid corridors; everyone reads the fine print with a magnifying glass and a migraine.
• “A Piece Prize”
• Nobel Peace Prize goes to Venezuelan democrat María Corina Machado. The Trump White House responds with “politics over peace” energy; Trump congratulates Machado while implying the medal would look better on his mantelpiece.
• The Ballad of David Pocock
• Kicked out (then re-invited) to the Australian Parliament Sports Club after asking why a gambling lobby is a sponsor. PM—who’s listed as club president—says everyone should be welcome. Pocock’s holding out for transparency; Canberra discovers “conflict of interest” isn’t just a footy penalty.
• Brides, Bombs & Bureaucracy
• “ISIS brides” and children returned to Australia without formal repatriation—Home Affairs knew for months; two children granted citizenship by descent. Government says “we didn’t help,” which is interesting given how many forms got stamped. Opposition reaches for the Temporary Exclusion Orders talking point; AFP preps for more “self-managed returns.”
• Artificial (and Financial) Intelligence
• Deloitte refunds part of a $440k report after AI-generated howlers (fake cases, phantom sources). Senate calls it a “human intelligence problem”; consultants reassure us they’d never, ever do that (again).
• French Kisses Goodbye
• France clocks five prime ministers in two years. Latest: Sébastien Lecornu quits 14 hours after launching his cabinet. Macron’s minority arithmetic meets Parisian patience: both collapse spectacularly.
• No Wi-Fi, No Worries
• Taliban filters throttle social media in Afghanistan; videos stop loading, women lose a key lifeline. It’s the world’s harshest digital detox: great for screen-time stats, catastrophic for rights.

Quote of the Week

“Peace isn’t a miracle, it’s a temporary pause between tragedies.”

Support the show

• Keep News Weakly healthy: patreon.com/samishah
• One-night-only stand-up special (13 Nov): comedyrepublic.com.au
• Share the episode, leave a review, and tell a friend who argues in comment sections for sport.

Credits

Sami Shah is a multi-award-winning comedian, writer, journalist, and broadcaster.

For more: http://thesamishah.com

Theme music “Historic Anticipation” by Paul Mottram

This podcast is written, hosted, and produced by Sami Shah.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.