19 Year Old Shrink

We often have a negative bias towards anxiety. In this episode, I explain how we can view anxiety from a positive perspective. In my own life, I look at anxiety as having 3 tiers. 

Tier 1: A place where we aren't really acting too much and would have too little anxiety. An example of this would be knowing a test is coming up but not paying attention to the material or the deadline. 

Tier 2: This IS the sweet spot. This is where you have enough anxiety where you are alerted to act, but don't let that idea consume your thoughts with worry. This would be knowing that an exam is coming up, and creating a study guide and plan a couple weeks in advance so that you avoid Tier 3 anxiety. 

Tier 3: This is where you are worrying too much. I think this is where we often associate the negative connotations with anxiety.  You have reached a place where worry is getting in the way of you acting and being productive. This is where all you are focusing on is the "What if's" of failing the test. And instead of being action oriented, you crumble under pressure and focus solely on the worrying. 

For the rest of this episode, I focus on how you can use this understanding of anxiety to your advantage in whatever way works best for you! That is up to you to decide and to become aware of in your life. But, if you are someone who has had a difficult relationship with anxiety, definitely tune in today!

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In this episode, I talk about the Wayne Dyer Quote, “Be open to everything and attached to nothing.” I think it is such a valuable mentality to have in our lives and embracing all new experiences that come our way.

I talk about the movie, “Yes Man” with Jim Carey, which is a perfect example of this. He starts out having a very glass half empty personality, always blowing his friends off to sit home and sulk. But, after being approached by a man who called him out for his negativity, he attended this convention called Yes.

He was told that he must say yes to everything and see where life takes him. Of course this is an exaggeration where we can’t say yes to everything, but it was a helpful reminder. Carey’s character began seeing more excitement in his life and he felt more alive.

Then, there’s the flip side to it where we need to learn to be open to things and not be attached to them. Allowing ourselves to realize what is in our control and what is not. And from there we can live the most free version of our life and see our experiences transform in front of us. Tune in for more!

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This episode breaks down how we develop our own unique personalities and what domains influence the different traits we develop. Topics of environment, upbringing, biology, and more help dive more deeply into this issue. Tune in for more!

In this episode I talk about overanalyzing situations and how it can lead to us hurting our own feelings. It can become easy to read too easily into other peoples actions and create a story around why they are acting a certain way.

We begin reflecting back on every little detail that we said and start worrying whether we might have hurt their feelings. And this might not be everyone, maybe it’s just me. But after awhile, we find out that they were upset with something completely unrelated to us, and then we realize how much time we wasted over thinking.

Additionally, I will talk about ways in which we might hurt our own feelings by over analyzing and how others have helped me and can help you get to a better place. Tune in for more!

In this episode, Howard Behar talks about how he helped build the Starbucks Empire with Howard Shultz and Orin Smith. Throughout this talk, he alludes to servant leadership as the key to success in this business venture.

Recognizing relationships and people as the ultimate factor in creating a successful business, I learned so much about the human factor of life. Howard wrote 2500 letters every month to employees for birthdays and company anniversaries as a way to foster recognition and community in the company.

In addition, he coined the phrase, “the person that sweeps the floor should choose the broom.” Sometimes it’s difficult for CEOs to let go of the control of their company, but Howard emphasized giving the people power so they can feel they have a say in the company.

This talk was such a humbling conversation as someone who is entering the professional world. Understanding that someone who helped expand from 28 to over 15,000 in 5 continents key to success was relationships was a very important lesson that I and others can benefit from.

If you want to hear more about the Starbucks history and their steps to make it to the company it is today, tune in for more!

Howards Contact Info:

[email protected]
206-972-7776

In this episode I talk with my friend Summer who is currently a marketing data analyst at Deloitte. She breaks down why she began to budget and how she organizes her budgeting in her own life.

She talks about the greater amount of freedom she has had because of the structure in her spending habits. Through this talk, I was able to see how much taking the time out of your day to budget can allow you to say yes to opportunities.

As the episode continues, Summer talks more about how she has learned to budget her time and different pieces of advice she has for those who may be entering a new chapter of their life after college. 

Through this, I learned how everyone has a different meaning attached to money, and her ability to spend the time managing it has allowed her to have such amazing experiences that she can say yes to. Tune into this episode for more information!

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With graduation looming, I talk about a feeling that a lot of people have probably experienced at one point in time. You may not have found a job yet or might not even know what to do, and it can be scary.

And what we do in those situations is begin measuring ourselves against others, “They figured out in October, they are better than me.” “Why don’t I have as many interviews as this person? All of these thoughts trigger negativity and we begin attributing it to our identity.

And this doesn’t need to be with jobs but with everything in life. Whether it be doing chores around the house, traveling, getting married, we constantly are comparing ourselves to others.

There is always these timelines for us to get things done. Get a job after college, get married by 30, the list goes on. But what we can appreciate is that even the most successful people, did it in the most unconventional way.

And this episode will break down this struggle and talk about ways to have a different perspective. Being able to appreciate that we all need to go our own path and not get too wrapped up in the expectations of what we are told. If this is something that you struggle with or see close ones struggling with, tune in for more info!

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In this episode, I talk about using delayed gratification as a means to build self confidence. Many times, it's easy to watch that extra episode of The Office, or eat that extra slice of pizza, or scroll on Instagram for another hour. We choose to do this instead of the more beneficial and long lasting solution for happiness. And from my own struggles with this, I have realized that it's because we have a better idea of what that pleasure feels like with things in the present moment. 

We are able to have a greater imagination of what that pleasure feels like because it is more tangible than something that is a year down the line. We won't be able to see and feel the rewards a year from now of running everyday until a year from now. And because of this, we sometimes fail to do the right thing and consequently resort to those immediate pleasures. 

Throughout this talk, I use meditation as an example of something that makes our future rewards more desirable because we take the time to visualize those rewards. As a result, we are able to bring our less imagined rewards to the present for us to make more sound and beneficial decisions. In addition, I discuss using journaling as a way to record the things we say no to as a way to give us proof we aren't always choosing the easy and convenient thing. 

All of these habits are used as ways to delay gratification and to build more self confidence in every area of our life. If you struggle to make long lasting decisions towards happiness, definitely tune in!

@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode, I talk about why we use excuses in so many areas of life. Sometimes we attribute being busy as a legitimate excuse. But when doing this, we need to contemplate whether that thing we are trying to avoid is that important to us. And if it is, then why are we getting consumed with less important things in our life? Those things that we truly value in life should supersede any other tasks on our daily agenda. 

As the episode continues, I talk about how our excuses can also give us insight into the things that we can learn to say no to in our life. This part recognizes the process of contemplation as a way to narrow in on those things that we value most in our life. If you are someone who finds themselves making excuses consistently or are around people that do, tune in for more information!

@19yearoldshrinkpodcast

In this episode I talk about our mindsets with our friendships at times. Sometimes we feel as though we are reaching out to some of our friends much more than they are to us. And we can get in our head about it and think we are bothering them when we are doing that.

But, after a conversation with my dad, he taught me a very valuable lesson about never keeping score in friendships. When we feel discouraged and hesitant about reaching out to people that we have become really close with over the years, that in itself can hurt our friendships.

And through this episode, we will learn about ways to reconsider those negative thoughts about our friendships in our life. Tune in for more!