19 Year Old Shrink

In this episode, I talk about the presence of trauma bonding in our relationships. This type of bonding involves the emotional attachment that we feel to a relationship despite the trauma that we have experienced from it. And this can be with friends, family, romantic partners, etc.

We’ve all seen people and maybe even ourselves keep going back to people that aren’t benefiting us in any way, shape, or form. But we keep doing it. And you might be confused as to why people keep going back to relationships that always cause trauma. But, that’s not always the case.

A lot of times these relationships involve a cyclical nature, where the person is abusive to their partner, they apologize with some sort of grand gesture, and fall back into the same habit as before. This leads the person who is a victim of this treatment to start putting the weight on themselves to help “fix” the other person.

Through this episode, we will begin to understand that these relationships are more difficult to let go of than we might think, but with certain tips and tricks provided, we can take the right steps to do it. Tune in for more!

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/trauma-bonding

In this episode I discuss why the future is such a consistent worry in society. Much of the time we spend worrying about the past and the future, which are uncontrollable as we are living in the present moment. We don't take the time out of our day to recognize and appreciate the here and now and use our present to create a desirable future. 

Some of the things for me that make me worried about the future is excessive watching of the news. There is so much uncertainty in the news and this spills over into my personal life which makes me even more hesitant in my life. This isn't to say never to watch the news, but being aware of boundaries to establish to live a happy and healthy life is important. 

In order to embrace the future instead of being terrified of it, we can also look at the uncertainty as part of the fun. If we were certain about everything, there would be no mystery! And when we do have those constant worries, being able to talk with someone more experienced and has walked a similar path can be such a huge help in our lives. Tune in for more information!

In this episode, I talk about giving yourself credit through self affirmations. A lot of times, we prioritize the deadlines and assignments we have and put the self help things off to the side. But, these little things that we can do every day can pay huge dividends for our mental health down the road. Something as simple as putting post it notes with great qualities of yourself on the mirror to look at in the morning is one example. 

Especially using different color post it notes to emphasize the differing qualities that you have in yourself. Or, putting notes inside a book you are often reading . We usually think that these steps need to be monstrous for us to make any improvement, but it really comes down to 10-15 minutes a day. This episode continues to recognize the power of self affirmations and how we can take control of our lives rather than our lives taking control of us. Tune in for more! 

In this episode, I discuss the 5 different types of mentors that I learned about in my management class. These include: traditional, inspirational, step-ahead, peer, and family member mentor. Traditional recognizes one person who has more experience than another and is guiding them in their process of developing more skills in a specific area. 

Inspirational is someone who you might not see every single day but has such a profound impact on you and your life. This might be someone who wrote a book that you swear by, or have a podcast or show that has guided you during some very difficult times. 

Step-ahead mentor is someone who is a little further ahead of you in the stages of life. The example I used in the episode was someone who just graduated college being a mentor to a senior in college. Answering questions about social life after college, workplace environment, and the transition from one stage to another are some examples of how a step ahead mentor can guide their mentee. 

A peer mentor is someone who you are very close with that may be someone that you envy. You admire them as a person and confide in them enough to ask them questions on how to live a better and more meaningful life. They are able to give you the friends perspective to things which is another helpful technique. 

Lastly, a family member mentor. Many people look up to their parents or older siblings for instilling certain values in them and ways to live out ones life. This is a perfect example of people who are the most similar to you being able to impart their wisdom onto you so that you can evolve into who you're supposed to become. 

After being given these different mentors, I talk about ways to attract them into your life and discuss the questions you could be asking yourself in order to become the best version of who you are meant to be. Tune in to learn more!

In this episode, I talk about how perceptions influence our everyday life. It is amazing how two people can experience the same event and have two completely different emotional responses to that event! This is where perception comes into play. Through internal factors such as emotions, memories, and values as well as external factors involving media, societal norms, and culture, we see our perceptions influencing the lense at which we view life. 

Throughout the episode, I also discuss the different filters of perception including; stereotypes, selective perception, projection, expectations, and interests. Through these, we see the individualized impacts of perceptions and how we sometimes fall victim to negative perceptions as well as adopting positive ones. 

This episode concludes with the discussion of the differing perceptions of all people, and how acknowledging and accepting these can lead to a more positive and harmonious life. Tune in for more!

In this episode, I discuss the evolution of our values in the different stages of our life. We have all heard the cliche phrase, "Enjoy being young, because as soon as you know it you'll be old like me!" And whenever I used to hear this saying, I would become discouraged because I assumed that we would just become victims of our circumstances of being old. 

But, now I have realized that it's more about how our values will evolve as we become older. When we are young we are so adventurous, trying new things, and exploring what works for us and what doesn't. But, then as time goes on, some individuals want to give back to children and raise a family. They begin to settle down and spend more time with their kids instead of traveling all the time. 

And this example shows me how it's not always a matter of the decisions being made for you, but what you want out of your life is evolving from stage to stage. If you are someone who wants to learn more about how our values change over time, tune in to this episode!

In this episode, I bring up some tips and tricks about what I learned in my managing yourself class at LMU. When trying to have a meaningful and productive conversation, ensuring that we are focusing our attention on the present moment is vital. Multitasking is one way where we become knocked out of the present moment and keeps us from getting close to others. 

A couple other points brought up are not using our own experiences to try and make them feel more at ease. Sometimes, this is a successful method, but if we do it too much, we might come off as making their problems seem less than ours. 

Another concept was being able to have a conversation about the conversation before having it. Ask the person if they want advice, or if they just want to vent. Learning to understand the motives behind the conversation is so important in setting up success for the talk. If you are interested in learning more about the do's and don'ts of a productive conversation, tune in now! 

 In this episode I talk about quiet leadership. A lot of times, we associate the word “leader” with someone who is outspoken and the loudest voice in the room.

But, what many people don’t realize is how many leaders there are that are quiet. They guide others through the actions more so than their words. Or they might not speak often, but when they do, it always has meaning attached to it.

If you are someone who might not think of yourself as a leader because of that stereotype, this is definitely a helpful listen. Hopefully throughout this episode you will begin to see that even if you don’t speak much, your impact can be felt greatly.

A quote by Maya Angelou I always love is, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” And after listening, you will see how this quote ties into the overall message of the episode. Tune in for more!

In this episode, I talk about something we all do; yawn! According to pbs.org, adults yawn on average 20 times a day! Throughout this talk, I not only discuss why we yawn and why it is contagious. I also mention the idea of empathy in yawning and how it is related to mirroring for other people in our life.  For romantic interests or close friendships, often times we mirror what the other person is doing to establish rapport. And although yawning occurs on a more subconscious level, I can relate to it being a way to establish connection with relationship oriented people. 

When listening to this episode, you might wonder; why do you care so much about something so little? Sometimes it's important to step back and be curious about the little things around us. By doing this, we can become more appreciative of the human experience and ask ourselves questions about why certain things are the way they are. And wondering about yawning is a perfect example of that. If you are interested in some science behind yawning, tune in now!

In this episode, I summarize Dan Ariely's Ted Talk about how our decisions are subconsciously influenced. He uses the table and rubik's cube example to paint the picture of how visually our mind plays tricks on us. Since visual representation is easier to pick up on than cognitive, he emphasizes that more mistakes are bound to be made when dealing with cognitive influences. 

Some of the examples he used were the differing percentages of donors across countries and how the phrasing of the DMV form in the corresponding countries led to those percentages. Also, we learn about the effect of the third bad choice being included in our decisions has and what the subtraction of it can do to our future conclusions. 

I use the "Wife and the Step Mother" painting as an example of illusions visually as well as having to decide between houses as a way to further support Dan Ariely's point. 

If you are interested in learning more about how our decisions are influenced more than we think, tune in!

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_ariely_are_we_in_control_of_our_own_decisions?language=en