There are moments in life that take you by surprise, that take your breath away, and make you realize something about yourself that you never knew before. It's those moments in life that make us realize that maybe we're not as adventurous and open-minded as we thought we were. When it comes right down to it...we're really just plain vanilla after all.

Some say that the third time is lucky. Others say that bad luck comes in threes. If you're planning to travel to Las Vegas or anywhere in Southern California in the next couple of months you may want to re-think your plans. If we buy tickets in our third attempt to try and break the hex to see "Mamma Mia", it's possible that there may be a natural disaster of monumental proportions just to make sure we don't see it.

If it got lost...it's going to be found. Somebody, somewhere will pick up the stripper heel that you left by the side of the road. Even if you think you lost your period forever, you can still get pregnant. There is only one simple exception to this golden rule, however, and that's your virginity. That's never coming back.

Next year when February 13 rolls around, don't forget to honor that special woman in your life. She's the one who really understands you, she pays attention to you, she knows exactly what you need even before you do and she knows how to make you feel good. Best of all, she's the one who will actually let you try all those funky positions your wife just rolls her eyes about. Take time out to show her how special she really is by buying her flowers on Mistress Day at the same time you buy your wife flowers for Valentine's Day.

When Eileen Chaiken decides to retire "The L Word" after next season, we're ready to step in and take over. We've already assembled a cast of writers...and we know exactly what the next plot lines will be. Once again, we're there when you need us.

It could happen... Two ordinary Lesbians might just wind up with the girliest little girl on the planet. She may be into lipstick, dresses, heels and everything "princess". The worst part is that she may not even want blue jeans and fleece to ever adorn her body! Not to worry...we have the way to balance out the universe once again and put the world back at peace. It's Lesbian Barbie.

Nancy's mom hears about (but does not hear) the show about the Cosmo magazine and finds us another magazine that any normal, young Lesbian would be interested in reviewing. It brings back memories of childhood.

Growing up, mother always told you it was a good thing to share. If you had something that somebody else didn't have, it was a virtue to give a little to someone else. The concept she never really got around to explaining, however, was about oversharing. That's just one we had to figure out for ourselves.

The Cosmo magazine that hasn't left the house yet become an endless source of fascination and irritation for Roxanne as she takes a look at some of the other articles. For Virginia it sparks the idea for a new money-making adventure - publishing the new Lesbian magazine...Lesbopolitan.

Fact: Most straight women have never seen a Va-Jay-Jay ever...including their own. That's why they need Cosmopolitan magazine to tell them all about it. Of course, they can just save the $4.95 and talk to a Lesbian instead.