It's hard to resist the overwhelming allure of the supermarket checkout rags on a good day. To make it even harder, they have to put a huge headline on the paper telling you that they're going to give you the scoop on who's gay in Hollywood today. We compare notes and check of our list of who's queer and who's just going through a phase.

We'll all kick the bucket someday. To avoid having your kids sprinkle you all over Disneyland, toss you out into the ocean, wear you as jewelry or snort your ashes, do the responsible thing and make sure you leave explicit instructions about how you want them to deal with your body when you pass. Or, you can just take the chance that you'll spend eternity in some family's home that you don't even know.

A new TV show causes Roxanne to lose touch with reality and fancy herself the young hot Lesbian of her youth. Or, it could just be the initial stages of her mid-life crisis coming on. Virginia realizes it's time for an intervention.

For as hot and steamed up as we were last weekend, you would have thought that the entire cast of the L Word, accompnied by the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders and the Laker Girls were spending the night at our house. Alas, we were not so lucky. Instead, the power went out right in the middle of the worst heatwave of the summer.

If you can dream it, you can be it. It's never too late to live your life the way you want to live it, and to have the career you've always dreamed of. This time...nobody's gonna hold you back. It's time to live your life and get rich doing it!

Do your part to support the economy. When that tax rebate check hits your mailbox, head to your nearest democratic or republican national convention and spend money the way it was supposed to be spent...by hiring prostitutes and renting hotel rooms. Good times are guaranteed for all.

Women come in a variety of unique shapes, sizes and colors, and every one of them is beautiful in her own special way. Of course, there's no harm in trying on a Chic Shaper to make that special way just a little more special.

All those girls who desperately wanted to make it onto the cheerleading squad in high school, but were just a bit too plump to be accepted by the other mean girls have finally found a place they can call their own. It's called Weight Watchers. Now they have all become meeting leaders so they can jump and yell to pump you up and cheer you on as the pounds fall off.

Let's not get crazy...it just seems like forever.....but, we're back now. All the rumors about us being dead or having given up are all false. Besides, we already told you that we're too old and lazy to break up. Lord knows the bitch wouldn't ever be able to move all her shit out anyway.

Roxanne finds a new restaurant that she likes more than McDonald's. As we make the trek out to Cafe Beaujolais, we wind up getting more than just something good to eat. The evening turns out to a be a real treat, with both dinner and a show.