Really? You don't love your body because your dick is too big? If you find yourself with so much time on your hands that you have to worry about not loving your body because your dick is too big, then you certainly have enough time to go out and find someone else who does love it that big.

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it. It doesn't matter if you're taking out a pile of old newspapers, the ex-girlfriend or just the overflowing holiday decorations that are consuming the entire garage...that crap needs to go. We offer some helpful advice on making the chore a little easier.

Our elders lived their lives leaving nothing to waste. When they went out hunting for food they used every single piece of the animal all the way down to the toenails. Next time you think about shaving your pits and letting the remnants go down the drain, think twice about that selfish act and instead donate it to women who have no underarm hair. You'll love yourself for it.

It's been over year that we've been talking about it and still nothing has happened. Not one bit of progress has been made to assemble all the basic necessities of an earthquake kit. Obviously, a little temblor last week hasn't provided the necessary motivation either. Perhaps a major holiday where we give earthquake kits to all our loved ones as gifts will help with the kick in the ass we need...but we doubt it.

Planning a wedding used to be easy. You only had to think about a location, flowers, catering, decorations and which exes to invite. Nowadays you have to think about putting together the perfect prenuptial agreement, too. Or, you can just skip the whole thing and become the typical Lesbian couple that continues to live together after they break up.

Everybody needs some good advice from time to time. Once again, we're here to help. We don't have any tips on getting yourself a better body. We just have all kinds of ideas to help you be "out" at work. Use this advice at your own risk.

Life in America....where we have certain freedoms and inalienable rights that we all take for granted. In the Declaration of Independence our forefathers were very clear about these things when they unabashadly stated that among our inalienable rights are....Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Getting Laid.

You already have cramps, you're bleeding like a pig...and you stop by the store to pick up some menstrual supplies. The last thing you need is some crazy Lesbian picking up things out of your shopping cart and telling you what you need and don't need in a maxi pad.

When you've been romancing a local restaurant for years and selflessly sharing all your love with them, you feel like your in a relationship. They have a responsibility to you as their loyal partner not to just pack up all their things and leave you in the middle of the night with no forwarding address, no reasons why and no explanations. Like a jilted lover, you'll be nursing a broken heart and wondering what you did wrong for the rest of your life.

It's no longer safe to hang out in Lesbian bars late at night. Wild animals are on the loose and they're out stalking their prey. They're looking for young, hot girls that will eventually cost them a lot of money. Keep you eyes open and be on the lookout for...cougars.