In this episode of PRETEND, we meet “Ashley”—not her real name—who recorded hours of arguments with her husband in an effort to understand what was happening inside her marriage. From the outside, it looked like petty spats over groceries or laundry. But when you hear the audio, you realize this was something darker.

Ashley’s husband was emotionally abusive, manipulative, and battling addiction. It wasn’t until COVID lockdowns that his mask slipped and she could see who he really was. He used suicide threats to control her, drained her financially, and isolated her from support. And yet, as is often the case with narcissists, everyone else thought he was the victim.

This is not one of the most outrageous stories we’ve told on PRETEND—but it’s one of the most common. It’s a story many people quietly live through and struggle to name. This is what emotional abuse sounds like.

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