PRETEND

2011: I Married a Narcissist part 1


Listen Later

In this episode of PRETEND, we meet “Ashley”—not her real name—who recorded hours of arguments with her husband in an effort to understand what was happening inside her marriage. From the outside, it looked like petty spats over groceries or laundry. But when you hear the audio, you realize this was something darker.

Ashley’s husband was emotionally abusive, manipulative, and battling addiction. It wasn’t until COVID lockdowns that his mask slipped and she could see who he really was. He used suicide threats to control her, drained her financially, and isolated her from support. And yet, as is often the case with narcissists, everyone else thought he was the victim.

This is not one of the most outrageous stories we’ve told on PRETEND—but it’s one of the most common. It’s a story many people quietly live through and struggle to name. This is what emotional abuse sounds like.

🛑 Warning Signs of Narcissistic Abuse:
  • Constant criticism or belittling (often about “small” things like chores or tone of voice)
  • Love-bombing followed by extreme withdrawal or cruelty
  • Gaslighting: making you question your memory, reality, or emotions
  • Isolation from friends, family, or support systems
  • Walking on eggshells to avoid setting them off
  • Financial control or sabotage
  • Using guilt, blame, or self-harm threats to manipulate behavior
  • Alternating between praise and punishment
  • Jealousy of your attention—especially toward children
  • 📌 If you’re in a similar situation, here are resources that can help:
    • National Domestic Violence Hotline (U.S.): 800-799-7233 or thehotline.org — Free, confidential, 24/7
    • Psychology Today Therapist Finder: psychologytoday.com
    • Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services (SAMHSA) Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357)
    • Narcissist Abuse Recovery Support: DomesticShelters.org – Includes emotional abuse filters
    • One Mom’s Battle: onemomsbattle.com – Focused on divorcing narcissists and protecting children
    • Love is Respect (for younger listeners): loveisrespect.org

      Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

      ...more
      View all episodesView all episodes
      Download on the App Store

      PRETENDBy Creative Babble

      • 4.7
      • 4.7
      • 4.7
      • 4.7
      • 4.7

      4.7

      2,232 ratings


      More shows like PRETEND

      View all
      This Is Actually Happening by Wondery

      This Is Actually Happening

      10,372 Listeners

      Swindled by A Concerned Citizen

      Swindled

      9,746 Listeners

      Something Was Wrong by Broken Cycle Media | Wondery

      Something Was Wrong

      25,373 Listeners

      Criminal Conduct by Creative Babble

      Criminal Conduct

      1,060 Listeners

      The Binge Cases: Fatal Beauty by Sony Music Entertainment

      The Binge Cases: Fatal Beauty

      3,725 Listeners

      Chameleon: Dr. Miracle by Sony Music Entertainment / Campside Media

      Chameleon: Dr. Miracle

      7,381 Listeners

      The Opportunist by PodcastOne

      The Opportunist

      10,191 Listeners

      The Binge Crimes: The Arsonist Next Door by Sony Music Entertainment

      The Binge Crimes: The Arsonist Next Door

      2,994 Listeners

      Queen of the Con by iHeartPodcasts and AYR Media

      Queen of the Con

      3,529 Listeners

      The Consult: Real FBI Profilers by PodcastOne

      The Consult: Real FBI Profilers

      1,129 Listeners

      Nobody Should Believe Me by True Story Media

      Nobody Should Believe Me

      2,481 Listeners

      Betrayal: Weekly by iHeartPodcasts and Glass Podcasts

      Betrayal: Weekly

      6,614 Listeners

      Scamfluencers by Wondery

      Scamfluencers

      7,096 Listeners

      Infamous by Campside Media / Sony Music Entertainment

      Infamous

      1,034 Listeners

      The Con: Kaitlyn's Baby by CBC + BBC World Service

      The Con: Kaitlyn's Baby

      674 Listeners

      The Ponzi Playbook by Neal McTighe and Javier Leiva

      The Ponzi Playbook

      90 Listeners

      You Probably Think This Story’s About You by Brittani Ard

      You Probably Think This Story’s About You

      1,519 Listeners