Rebecca Bender

Key Points

When victims are exploited together, they often form familial bonds with one other causing them to fell a sense of obligation to stay in their position for the other person.

Human Trafficking is very similar to a cult mentality, this can make it. very difficult for victims to leave.

It’s important to listen to those who have survived Human Trafficking and value their knowledge and expertise on the subject.

When human trafficking is inaccurately illustrated in the media and in awareness campaigns, there is a detrimental effect on the ability to recover victims and on the perception of those being trafficked.

Resources

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Transcript

Dave [00:00:00] You’re listening to the Ending Human Trafficking podcast. This is episode number 234, Relentless Advocate Rebecca Bender.

Production Credits [00:00:09] Produced by Innovate Learning, Maximizing Human Potential.

Dave [00:00:30] Welcome to the Ending Human Trafficking podcast. My name is Dave Stachowiak.

Sandie [00:00:36] And my name is Sandie Morgan, and this is the show where we empower you to study the issues, be a voice, and make a difference in ending human trafficking.

Dave [00:00:46] Today, we’re so glad to welcome Rebecca Bender to the show. She is relentless in her mission to help others find their purpose. Rebecca is the founder and CEO of Elevate Academy, the largest online school for survivors of trafficking. She is an author and speaker that brings insight, expertise, and lived experience to her highly sought-after trainings and consultations. She also serves the U.S. National Advisory Council, Department of Justice Advisory Council, and advises a number of nonprofits. Rebecca, we’re so glad to welcome you to the show.

Rebecca [00:01:20] Thank you so much for having me.

Sandie [00:01:22] I’m really excited to have this personal conversation with you. Rebecca, I’ve been following you for a while. Your book, In Pursuit of Love, is on Amazon and it has over two hundred five-star reviews. So, anybody who wants to read. It’s a very, very readable story with a lot of lessons embedded in it. So welcome to the Ending Human Trafficking podcast.

Rebecca [00:01:52] Thank you so much. I didn’t know it had that many reviews yet. I’m really honored people would listen and read it.

Sandie [00:01:59] Isn’t that great? That’s great. So, can you give us like a 30-second overview? You know, I want to talk about the past so much, but just so people understand where you were a survivor and how long you’ve been out.

Rebecca [00:02:16] Yeah, I was trafficked. I met a young man really on a college campus. It was not the college I was attending, but it was on a college campus in Eugene, Oregon. And I was a single young mom, 19-year-old mom trying to put myself through community college. And he ended up being a trafficker who took me and my daughter to Las Vegas. And I ended up getting trafficked for nearly six years between three different men. He was just the first one then. I had a lot of stuff happen in that time. Obviously, a lot of twists and turns and multiple attempted escapes. Multiple things happen. Ended up being trafficked in a home with multiple women. And so just the trauma bonding that takes place between other victims in the home as really hard to just run when one bad thing happens because it becomes much more layered and complex. And some may argue that’s intentional on the traffickers’ part to create these false senses of family. That’s harder for you to run when bad things do happen because you feel so bonded to the other women and other children. And then thankfully, I did run, and I escaped on December 31, 2007. I remember the date because I remember watching the ball drop on the TV in the airport. That’s why I remember the day. Yeah.

Sandie [00:03:36] Big celebration for your liberation. Interestingly, when we chatted before we said we’re just going to have a conversation. But the very first thing on my conversation is to talk about that sense of family. And you led right into that. Can you expand on that just a little bit?

Rebecca [00:03:57] Yeah, well, you know, one of the things I think for so many trafficked victims is this innate desire and in humanity in general that desires to love and be loved. Right. We all need community. We all need a tribe. We all need a sense of belonging that’s just inherent as humans, oftentimes with traffic victims. There are multiple vulnerabilities that have created a real lack of community and belonging and need to love and be loved and oftentimes because of that lack. There’s also been layers of desensitization to abuse or poverty, gender, race, all of this giant cocktail that sort of makes you most at risk and most vulnerable to predators and exploiters. And so that was a lot. You know, my story’s no different in terms of that. I mean, we all have differences. But I think at the core, I felt really alone, unwanted, and unimportant with a parent’s really ugly divorce in. And so, when I found myself a young mom, my trafficker offered me that to not be alone, to be important, and to be wanted. And so, through time, I met his other trafficked… I ended up getting trafficked into a home. Towards the e...