It ain’t easy to sire a child with spoiled milk, nuh uh. Stretch on some gloves, milk yon squirters into an old Cro-Croa bottle, and bring yon pride to our collection. We have bottles dappled with sweat, others hot as irons, and some just fulla dregs—pathetic milks I hate to say. What of your milk? Drop a drip, and let us inspect.

Guest preacher: Brother Daniel Tamberelli (Danny and Mike podcast, Jounce)

Invocation

Psalm: “Restaurant Milk”

Liturgical Reading: “Who Is Your Milky Boy?”

Concluding Prayer

Hoo hoo, I been cutting out the prettiest faces I’ve seen in magazines and now I have an envelope full of beauty. Gonna leave their grinning faces in milk overnight, and eat it like curdles in the morning. I will be full of yon soggy beauts come noon.