3 Toxic Communication Styles That End Relationships

Passive Communication: Passive communication is when you ignore or mask the truth about how you feel or what you want, usually as a way to avoid conflict.

While passive communication often feels good in the moment because it makes you look self-sacrificing and generous (at least to yourself), it always fails in the long run because it’s fundamentally dishonest.

Aggressive Communication: Aggressive communication is when you express your own wants and needs without regard for the rights and preferences of others.

Importantly, aggression is usually not the result of pure malice or a psychopathic lack of empathy; instead, it’s a reaction to fear and insecurity.

Despite how it appears on the surface, anger is actually a positive emotion in the sense that it feels good to be angry. When we’re angry, the underlying assessment is that someone or something is wrong, and by extension, we’re right. This boosts our ego.

Passive Aggressive Communication: Passive-aggressive communication is when you’re too angry to keep quiet and too afraid to be honest.

Recall that passive communication involves being overly deferential to other people and dishonest with yourself, whereas aggressive communication is the opposite, being honest about your own wishes but in a way that’s disrespectful to others. The third toxic form of communication, passive-aggressive, is the worst of both worlds: dishonest to yourself and disrespectful to others.