Carmen's shopping for gig vests at Wax, Max and Shane are gonna be butch and help the ladies out with their luggage, Bette's had just about enough of Tina's petty bourgeois anxiety and everybody is very clear about their intentions to attend a dinner tonight in honor of Jenny and male lobsters, who behave better than female lobsters while in a pot together. Also: Dana gets a mammogram, Shane and Carmen are puppy-sitting for some reason, we didn’t know Mark Epstein was a real person and Alice has a really bad psychiatrist! Special thanks to our episode sponsor, MCD! The publisher for the new memoir High School, by Tegan and Sara!

Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback

Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did! 

Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron

Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell

Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes

Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited by Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein