This week on Heavy Hands, Connor and Phil praise Derek Brunson for getting better, and squirt Derrick Lewis with the water bottle for thinking he gets to do the same.

• Who does Derrick Lewis think he is, trying to be good at MMA? Selfish bastard! Anyway, he's probably going to send Alexei Oleinik to hell
• Chris Weidman vs Omari Akhmedov is one of those special fights: very weird, sort of depressing, but undeniably interesting
• Long Back Benny is back to sling punches with the very durable but not very damaging Scott Holtzman
• Has Nasrat Haqparast learned any lessons about fighting wrestlers since his loss to Marcin Held?
• plus: Shahbazyan's missing jab, Derek Brunson's rebirth, and Lando Vannata's continuing struggle to be reborn