366 Days Sober

October 12

After spending five years creating the podcast every week and having over 350+ episodes available “in the can,” I felt happy about what we had accomplished. It was nice to get feedback about how people enjoyed the topics and discussions. Counted money, and countless hours, were spent preparing, recording, editing, coming up with ideas to expand the show, writing articles, etc. It has really been a joy to do. Due to some unforeseen circumstances the other day, I had to take down all the episodes that aired before November 2021. It was sad at first, but in some ways, it gave me pleasure to be reminded that nothing is permanent. Everything is temporary. Our work, careers, health, friendships, time, and lives. This, too, shall pass. And sometimes, no matter how attached you may be to certain things, you just have to chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and move on.

Reflections

Am I holding on too tightly to things that aren’t even mine?

Daily Challenge

Chuck it in the fuck-it bucket!

October 11

You don’t ever have to shit your pants again. Not if you don’t want to. No, really! You won’t ever have to shit your pants ever again. Some of you may like the idea of shitting your pants, the warm mushy feeling of your groin getting filled with the hershiest of squirts, an almost chunky mashed potato consistency, the delightful smell of a 3-day binge expelled from your bowels that wafts up from your nether region and fills your senses with the bad memory-filled weekend of Friday through Sunday. The excitement of someone pointing it out and making that “eww” face as someone close to you gags on the smell of your ass-filled pants. The total embarrassment as you now realize you just did this at your sister’s wedding table. You promised you’d watch your drinking that whole weekend - especially on her “special day” - but everyone else was having such a good time all weekend leading up to it. Why couldn’t you? It will be years before you live this one down. You will always be known as “The Ass Blaster” from here until the divorce is final. I mean, you never have to do that again, not unless you want to, that is.

Reflections

Have I ever shit my pants because of my drinking? If not, do I ever want to?

Daily Challenge

Double wipe today, just because you can.

October 10

Lao Tzu (some old wise Chinese dude) said, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” And he wasn’t wrong. Everything begins somewhere. Everything has its beginning, but the trouble is that some of us never begin. We are masters at putting off today what we can do tomorrow. The level of procrastination (sloth) for some of us nears a level of perfection that almost deserves to be awarded. And it would be admirable if our goal was to never do anything we truly wanted to do. If our goals were to live in our mom’s basement and smoke weed all day, they would erect statues of us sitting on that torn-up couch! But our recovery and newfound life have placed us in a position that compels us to step out of our comfort couches (a.k.a. ‘comfort zones’) and put a foot firmly in the direction of our aspirations. The only question is, are you ready for the journey?

Reflections

What do you want to do? What have you always wanted to do but never had the guts to do?

Daily Challenge

Take the first step…

October 9

Some people may never see the new you. Some of your friends and family, whom you so desperately wanted to see how well you are doing now that you are sober, will never see the person you have become and are now becoming. To some of them, you will always be the lost soul, class clown, control freak, slut, loser, wastoid, black sheep, drunkard, addict, etc. No matter what you do or have done, they simply can’t see you any other way. Unable to let go of the past. Closed off with their hearts. But guess what? Their opinion doesn’t matter. You’ve always known that. So, stop chasing that acceptance and approval. As much as you would love to hear those words or get that praise, that crap will not change “a motherfucking goddamn thing!” [Read that last part again in the voice of Samuel L. Jackson – funny how that makes it sound better coming from him.] The only thing that does matter is what you already know. You’re intelligent, resourceful, witty, charming, compassionate, daring, courageous, loving, encouraging, tolerant, and worthy of all those extra words just like these ones. Because how YOU see yourself is the only opinion that really matters.

Reflections

How do you really feel about yourself today?

Daily Challenge

Search online for affirmations. Do those today.

October 8

al·co·hol·ism

/ˈalkəˌhôˌliz(ə)m/

noun: alcoholism

an addiction to the consumption of alcoholic liquor or mental illness and compulsive behavior resulting from alcohol dependency.

"He had a long history of depression, drug abuse, and alcoholism."

What is in the “-ISM” of your alcoholism? Often it’s characterized by the consumption of alcohol in the number of drinks or ounces. Defined in the D.S.M. (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) as a “craving, or a strong desire or urge to use alcohol.” But I don’t think the dictionary definition or the D.S.M. really covers it. From an early age, we addicts and alcoholics don’t feel like we fit in. We felt apart from and not a part of. Some of us think “ISM" stands for Incredibly Short Memory, or I Sabotage Myself. I personally felt that I Separated Myself (ISM) in all aspects of life. I separated from you, from a Higher Power, and most of all, myself.

Reflections

How do you define your “ISM”?

Daily Challenge

When you listen to someone today, do it with your whole being and really connect.

October 7

You will not always be the man (or woman) or the one with answers. It’s perfectly okay to say, “I don’t know,” when asked a question. You don’t need to always have an answer. No, really. Here’s another scenario where you can recall the loving words of my new sponsor, “Shut the fuck up!” You may want to have the answer. You may want to be seen as the man with the answer, but that doesn’t mean you actually have an answer. Sure, it can feel terrifying to not have an answer, especially when you desperately want to impress someone. Sure, they will move on and ask someone else. Better to say nothing than lie or to flap your jaw and look like a fool. Put down the front. Surrender your ego a little and give up the bullshit.

Reflections

Are the above statements true for you? If so, what do you think you should consider today?

Daily Challenge

Have you lied recently to someone? How about considering an apology to that person?

October 6

“Through meetings (our Fellowship), we detox our body. Through the Steps, we detox our minds. Through service, we detox our spirit.” - Herb K. From the book: 12 Steps to Spiritual Awakening: Enlightenment for Everyone.

In the rooms of recovery, we are introduced to the process that helps lay a foundation for a life of successful sobriety. Working the 12 Steps allows us to find clarity as we are guided to a new understanding of our thinking and behavior. Learning to observe and react differently. We are then encouraged to go out from there and apply the principles we learn “in all of our affairs” to the best of our ability. We continue to grow in knowledge and experience of using these principles and look for continued growth in our effectiveness. Our mutual friend, Bill W., says, “This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.”

Reflections

Are you ready to do this for a lifetime? How have you been doing it so far?

Daily Challenge

Find a book about spirituality that you might like to read. Look up ratings and reviews before buying it.

October 5

I didn't call in sick for the first year of my recovery. Not once! It just never occurred to me. I was so healthy that I just did not get sick or feel under the weather. But it’s not all about go, go, go, and get ‘er’ done! I had lost something in that first year. I forgot that I really enjoyed fucking off and doing nothing sometimes. So, let’s do something we may not have done in a while. Let’s get a little naughty. How about we call in “stupid” today? Pick up the phone and tell whoever it is that you need to tell, “ I took my temperature rectally today and read all the way to stupid.” Tell them that you are sick! You’re not lying. Just don’t say you’re “Sick… of working!” Or “Sick… in the head!”

Reflections

Are you working too hard? Have you forgotten how to have fun in your recovery?

Daily Challenge

Seriously, take the day off. Open the freezer, grab the ice cream and some Oreos, crawl back in bed, and turn on Netflix or your favorite movie. When people ask you how you feel tomorrow, just say, “Great! Thanks for asking.” And leave it at that.

October 2

The past is the past. It will always try to come back to life, and it will find its way into the nooks and crannies of your day-to-day life. It will always find a way to replay in the virtual VCR/TiVO/YouTube of your mind. What once was does not have to be again. What you are going to do in the future can and will always be better than what you’ve done. If you allow it. If you can keep the past where it belongs and move toward the future. Some of us live in the past so much that it overwhelms our tomorrow and can narrow our view of what is possible. It’s okay to learn from our mistakes or even to regret the past (contrary to the Big Book, it’s really okay to have regrets “I have had a few, but too few to mention.”). It’s also okay to reminisce or review the past, but let’s not allow it to muddy the waters of today. Let the lesson sink in, but don’t let the lessons sink you.

Reflections

Can I review the past without deep regrets or resentment? Can I let go of the past to enjoy today and tomorrow?

Daily Challenge

Call someone from your past you have not talked to in a while. Just shoot the shit. Don’t bring up anything more.

October 1

Today, you are going to draw a graph. Do you know what a graph is? Of course, you do. We are going to draw a simple line graph to illustrate a point. First, we draw a vertical line that defines 0%-100%. Next, draw an “X” on that line to represent how you feel things currently are (i.e., I think everything is around the 40% mark because things are just humdrum, and they could certainly improve). Then, draw a circle where you wish things could be (i.e., I wish everything to be around the 80% mark! Not perfect, but certainly better than what things are). Now, measure the difference between the two. For me, it was a 40% difference. The difference between how things are in your life (40%) and how you want them to be (80%) is the amount of your suffering.

Reflections

Am I accepting things for what they are, or am I wishing for them to be different?

Daily Challenge

Actually, do the graph above. Note the difference between the two marks.