August 31

There is nothing better than giving someone a dose of their own medicine! “Paybacks are a bitch,” as they say. But is that all really necessary? Anger, resentment, and hatred can eat at our hearts and force us into unnecessary suffering. As we say in the rooms of recovery, “It’s like drinking poison and hoping that the other person will die.” It’s so human to despise and plot against someone who has done us wrong. Stories and books are filled with revenge and vengeance. Some of our favorite movie heroes’ and heroines' whole characters are created around retaliation. But take a step back and look at that behavior for what it is: wasted, misdirected energy and time. Look at the harm hurting others causes you more than it will ever hurt them. The negative thoughts. The cynical behavior. The long-term pain and misery you carry with that resentment. Here’s something to consider for your future vows of vengeance from George Herbert (poet, priest, theologian, orator):

“Living well is the best revenge.”

Reflections

How can I focus on myself today so that others will feel my wrath and know the pain and suffering they have caused? You missed the whole fucking point! Man!

Daily Challenge

Live well. Don’t seek revenge.

August 30

At six months sober, I went for my first doctor’s appointment in what felt like a decade. I had never been honest with my doctors in the past. When my doctors asked me how much I drank, I always said, “I have two drinks a night.” And I would say it with as much surety as possible but not sound too bold about it. This time though, I needed to be honest because I was afraid of the damage I had caused my body. So, this time, I would be completely honest. It was like going to confession or taking a Fifth Step with a sponsor! I gave him my drug history, drinking history, lack of physical exercise, bad eating habits, smoking history, and just about anything else I could add to the list. For the first time, I told someone outside of recovery that I was an addict/alcoholic, and his response was, “No shit?” We had a good laugh about it and filled out the sheet for a complete workup. What were the results? I am still here, aren’t I?

Reflections

Are you worried about your physical health?

Daily Challenge

Check your local government for assistance. There is medical help out there. If you already have health care, great! Go to your doctor and be honest. They are there to help. Oh! And actually, do what they say!

August 29

Could you stop talking about it and do it already? Remember when you told your cousin that you would move someday? Or how about that new job you know you should get? How long did you talk about getting sober/clean? How long did that take before you finally learned that just talking about it was not enough? You had to learn to be about it. Even if you tell yourself things privately, you must “walk the talk!” So, get out of your head and off your ass! Take that first step toward that thing! Whatever that thing is for you!

Reflections

What is that one thing you keep talking about but never do? You know the thing. What if you just started to do that thing instead of talking about it?

Daily Challenge

Today, be about it and stop flapping your jaws.

August 28

“I'd rather go through life believing I’m an alcoholic than go through life drinking, trying to convince myself that I'm not.” - Unknown

A disease of perception. Our entire outlook on life is distorted by alcohol and drugs. There is no other way to describe our condition. It changes our brain’s chemistry, distorts our behavior, and can affect the physical brain in the long term. With all the harm and turmoil that having the disease of addiction and alcohol can cause, the disease’s best manipulation is to convince us that we don’t have it. Mountains of evidence of multiple D.U.I.s, daily drinking/drugging, pawn shop visits, using against our own will, jail time, and the like. These things were always someone else’s fault! We were just unlucky, terrible drivers who “accidentally” got drunk, stole a T.V., and pawned it right before getting pulled over. “It was the red light’s fault, officer!” You could almost hear the excuses now.

Reflections

Are you now convinced that you have a disease of addiction/alcoholism?

Daily Challenge

If you have doubts about your “disease,” look back at your behavior and actions in the cold light of sobriety. You’ll see.

August 27

Do you have enough? When you look out over your domain (your dwelling), do you feel you have enough? What do you really need to be content? How much more is there to acquire? Addicts and alcoholics can also get the disease of “more” and move from one thing to another, looking for more. Millionaires and billionaires who have more than enough are still looking for more. Bernard Arnault is currently the richest man in the world as of this writing. He is worth over $220 billion dollars. Ironically, the family owns Hennessy whisky, among many things. He makes $30,769,230.77 a day (just over $30 million a day!). Purdue University did some research and found that the ideal income point for the individual (In North America) is $95,000 for life evaluation and $60,000 to $75,000 for emotional well-being.* Understanding: it takes $60-75k to be okay with your situation and $95k to feel satisfied with your life. Anything above that does not contribute to happiness or overall well-being.

Reflections

What do you really need to be content?

Daily Challenge

Put a few more dollars in the basket this week.

*North America Region - https://www.purdue.edu/newsroom/releases/2018/Q1/money-only-buys-happiness-for-a-certain-amount.html

August 26

“You’ve got to bring ass to whoop-ass!” – Levar Burton

(Yes! The Reading Rainbow Dude)

Put your ass on the line today and give it all you have. Yesterday, you may have complained out loud, or maybe just to yourself, but what we are saying today is don’t complain at all. Bring all you are to this moment so you know you didn’t leave anything else on the table. No excuses. Bring all of your best and know that you did all you could to make today kick some ass.

Reflections

Am I really doing my best today?

Daily Challenge

Ask someone you admire how they do what they do.

August 25

What time is it? No! Not that! What time is this moment? Are you living in “alive time” or “dead time”? Maybe you just landed in jail, or you might soon serve a year in prison for that third D.U.I. or drug offense? Maybe you are doing six weeks of treatment for the second or third time? How will you carve out your time? Will you make it worth it this time, or will you get carried away with the whims of the day? Will you take action or be distracted? You must choose whether this time, right here, right now, will be “alive” or “dead.” Will you apply yourself to the time you have right now and do your best with what you have? Will you conquer it and do time, or will you flounder and let time do you?

Reflections

Well? How are you living?

Daily Challenge

Make an effort. Go all in, starting today.

August 24

Why do you envy that person? You know little about them. And yet, you secretly say things to cut them down and assassinate their character without trying to really understand who they are? Envy is an ugly trait; we don’t always want to admit how much we do it because it is so ugly. We will easily call ourselves selfish, self-centered, or even addicts and alcoholics, but to readily admit that we are envious? Not out loud, anyway. But given the opportunity to supplant someone’s opinion about someone we are jealous of, we will do it with a smile on our green-with-jealousy face. Being in recovery does not make you immune to the human condition, but it can give you the tools to respond, examine your feelings, and check your motives. The tools of recovery don’t protect you from the qualities of being a human as much as they give you the ability to become one.

Reflections

Am I experiencing an addict/alcoholic problem, or is my problem just part of the human condition?

Daily Challenge

Can you determine today if that problem is within your power to change? What would solving that problem look like? Write it down!

August 23

Man! I wouldn't need a job if I had a nickel for every time I was told that I would end up in jail, dead, or in an institution. From day one, as far back as I can remember, I was told that I was a “piece of shit” and that my life would amount to nothing. My parents, brother, sister, stepfathers, teachers, and the like said these words to me. As a result, I was at constant odds with everyone around me before I found sobriety. It wasn’t easy to defy the narrative that was fed to me in those early years. I had all the excuses to lie down and drink/drug myself to death, but I didn’t do that. Instead, I found that by trying to connect and risking to love others, I found a way other than alcohol and drugs that finally worked for me. I am grateful that I discovered alcohol and drugs in those early years because it allowed me the time between then and now to find recovery. I may not be a “grateful addict/alcoholic,” as they say in the rooms, but I am sure grateful to have found a solution to being one.

Reflections

Are you grateful for being an alcoholic/addict?

Daily Challenge

What can you do to show gratitude for being in recovery?

August 22

They talk a lot about service in the rooms of recovery. Serving others is a primary part of “the program,” and it can feel less inspiring in the beginning knowing that this is the result of all your efforts. Especially because we can still be so selfish and self-centered. We were prescribed by Dr. Bob in A.A. to “Trust God, clean house, and serve others.” That pretty much sums it up, but we tend to skip the first two parts of that prescription and forget that this “program” takes time to grasp, digest, and work into our lives. We must be living our lives and work towards a moment when we can help others effectively. This is the part where we tell you to put your mask on first. Because you can’t help others unless you have first secured your care and safety. That is the first two parts. After that, then you will be able to help others effectively. The last part doesn’t come unless you have done the first two.

Reflections

Are you trusting a God of your understanding? Are you cleaning house (getting your life in order)?

Daily Challenge

Read about Dr. Bob here: https://www.drbobshome.org