Question 1: [1:29] - “I am a 20-year-old male, healthy and active. However, I do not have any desire whatsoever to have sex. I am in a long-term relationship where we used to be very sexually active but recently, I cringe at the thought of sexual activity. I struggle to unpack what is going on and when we discuss this together, I dissociate strongly and lose my ability to put my emotions into words. I tend to get angry and have to fight a strong urge to shut down the dialog. I feel so much shame and guilt about this as I know she has needs, needs I cannot fulfill right now with my genuine emotional experience. I see the danger of pretending and attempting to meet her needs while ignoring mine, as I know doing things out of sense of obligation or guilt will lead our relationship into ruins. I am certain this a psychological problem as I don’t show any of the classic signs (other than reduced sex drive) of lowered testosterone and I am not having issues “getting up” for the occasion. It seems like this is all stemming from my head. I would love Stefan’s help getting to the bottom of this as this is such a difficult topic for me to explore on my own, with friends or with my girlfriend. How can I overcome some of this mental blocks that are preventing me from having a fulfilling sex life as this is such an important aspect of successful long term relationship? More generally, what is a healthy mindset to approach a problem like this without beating myself up, as this only seems to make things worse?”

Question 2: [1:46:08] - “What sort of incentive or event do you think is required for people (women in particular) to embrace the concept of having (more) children and being OK with either not having a career or delaying it until her children are in school (like I did)? There are logistical/timing issues but the FIRST priority should be to have children and raise them and everything else should be secondary.”

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