We're not dead yet! Err, anymore... This past month has been pretty turbulent, to say the least, but it looks like we should be back on schedule for the time being. Until Jeff Bezos finds us again, that is. 

This week's topics include: blasphemous grocery shopping, sex crazed CEO spirits, Not Kathy, strip club flash mobs, werewolf fearmongering, rock connoisseurs, and the Blue [mammal] Group. 

Thank you to the Florida Folklife Collection for our theme song, "Butter Beans" by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin. Send them your support!

We're back! Sorry about last week, Charlie died and took a little while to come back. Which Charlie died? Listen to find out! Also, there's a little funky buzzing in the background of the audio, and I have no idea what caused it. Ghosts? Demons? My sub-par editing skills? The world may never know!

Topics include: Legalize trash food, de-legalize lawyers, Free Will owns Antarctica, hot hot christmastime, hell animals, the nutella disease, belladonna madonna, really big football, weird schools, the newest pokemon move: GUN, keep fish responsibly, and ocean mysteries!

Thank you to the Florida Folklife Collection for our theme song, which is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin.

Welcome to first annual Halloween special! We didn't really do anything special, really, but it's a good episode anyways! We hope you enjoy listening to it while you gorge on mountains of ill-gotten candy and the remains of eggs that were thrown onto evil-doers cars.

Our super spooky topics include: things we really didn't want to know about our parents, haunting hours, swamp countries (accompanied by a Charlie Rant™), more muilob (because of a Charlie Rant™), computer ghosts, Pelicans are cryptids, Florida and the friendly ghosts, we Shall Not Meet The Jetsons, good video james, naked George Bush encounters, and we also Get Real for a minute.

To elaborate on what we're saying: this is a comedy podcast. We make jokes, and not everyone will find them funny, but a large portion of the things we say are over-exaggerated or flat out lies. The most illegal thing we've done is jaywalk on our way to a convinience store, so yeah.

Our theme song is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin, courtesy of the Florida Folklife Collection!

Halloween is fast approaching, but don't worry, this is a totally normal episode! Or is it? Yeah, it is! I'm just messing with ya!

Our topics include: charlie's new death bagel job, keeping it classy (sexy), Plantsexy™, the Needle Lady, serious discussions about what is anime?, Jaden the anti-disney prophet, tourist trashing

Thank you to the Florida Folklife Collection for our theme song, which is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin.

Also, a friendly reminder from the Vaseline Man (and the Needle Lady): this podcast is a comedy podcast! Nothing we say here is a reflection of our true beliefs. We make this show for fun, and the characters we protray in it are not ourselves.

We're back from the woods and we bring a nice, concise episode for your enjoyment! That's the nice way of saying it's short. Oops!

Our topics include: ghastly boy scouts, does Illinois is real?, emergency blankets hate austronauts, Beth Esda and her husband Todd, meat industry gods, and headphones is good!

Thank you for listening, and let's cross our fingers for no more delays!

Our audio quality took a weird dive this episode, and we aren't quite sure why. We're planning another heist to steal a better microphone from the lawyers, but these things take time. Until that happens, enjoy this episode!

Our topics include: Onion ring divination, demon cursing adventures, Charlie was voted most likely to "take care of" a teacher and flee the country in her high school yearbook, ranting about persona 4 (again), Claudia's pep talk, cars that can smell, Dustcoin, and diamond cowboys.

Our theme song is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin, courtesy of the Florida Folklife Collection!

Also, the Vaseline Man has a message for you: this podcast is a comedy podcast! Nothing we say here is a reflection of our true beliefs. We make this show for fun, and the characters we protray in it are not ourselves. NSA don't arrest us, please!

We're back on schedule baby, and here's an on-time episode to prove it! If you've always wanted to learn more about the multiverse, but your local college doesn't offer classes, then this episode is perfect for you!

Topics include: one semi-occupied soul for rent, new year in the middle, smashing on Apple, good A.I.s go bad, more persona talk, Halloween II: Electric Boogaloo, seances over Skype, multiverse theory 101, Charlie's love of pi, and the secret behind my immortal.

Our theme song is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin, courtesy of the Florida Folklife Collection!

Irma sure did happen, so pardon our second impromptu hiatus in a row! Our episode is pretty long this week to make up for it, though. Shmitty's recording studio survived, but his studio is out of power, so we're recording at Claudia's domain. We get into some Real Conspiracies this episode, so buckle up!

Giving Irma a black eye, Denver airport which is definitely cursed, highway tubing, tie pie cult, and bees in space.Our theme song is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin, courtesy of the Florida Folklife Collection!

I̮Ǵ͇̤͖͖͓̬̞N͢O̻̙̜͓R̗E͇̣̭̭̮͇ͅ ̰̗̺̳̲̣̪T̤̹͝H͎̯̦̦̼͝Ę̯̱̤̻̥ ̵̗̥͈S͙̗͉͖͜L̥͎͍̞̫̦I҉͍̹̭̩G̴̜H̱͍̝͝Ṭ̖͢ ̤̦̝͕̟̥́H̖̥̰͟U̟̗̤̣ͅM̯M̙͕̻̮̬̝̻͝I̢̼N̨̯͍̱͇͖̤G ͉͓̥͖̜͔I̤͟N͏̖̙̗̻͕̺̹ ͎̖̖̜̖͢T͏̻̬̟̪͙HE̮͚̮̙ ̦Ą͕̮̗͕U̪D͇̼̳̪̬̥I̲̝͚̼̥̥O̗̹̥͙͈,͕̮̭̭͚̲̥̀ ̦̣͎̗̲Ì̙͍̙̦̤TS͎̫̱̟̥̗͇ ̡N̖̗͉̝O͏̝̳̲̫̮T̸͍͕̞H̻͇̤I̫N͍̘̗G̩̪̲̗͕̞ ̘̻̤͙̥T̖̭̻͔O̪̭̻͓̜̟͘ͅ ͓̘W͡O̘̯̰͎͈͙̝R͡RY͍͟ͅ ̮̭̯͚͉A҉̩̼̯̤B̮͕̪̯̲̬͢O̳U̜̯͈T̪̗̱͕͉̜̬,̙͈̮̰͇̞͈ ̥̜͕̬̤̥ͅW̬͙̦E͉͎̹̹͔͉ ͖͓̺̟̦̗͚P҉̲͚͈̥R̮̤͘O̦̮M̛̭I̖̬͠S͉͔͈͚̬̟ͅE̱ͅ!

We're back from hell and ready to tell you all about the weird happening you missed in the past two weeks! I hope you like five minute intros about gender equality in sports, because that's a thing that happened!

Our topics include: traumatic brain injury equality, podcast eating ghosts, dust collector man, the backroad to hell, monopoly murder, prep school horror story, dresses for all, actual (friendly) cannibal shia labeouf, Space Jam is Real and So Are We.

Our theme song is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin, courtesy of the Florida Folklife Collection!

Sorry for the delay in publishing, I was devoured by road ghosts and then my professors ate my decaying corpse. But we're back, and have this short, shitty episode to celebrate! This episode was actually recorded after three days of driving, so we're a little out of it (we still are, honestly).

Topics include: beware of bike jesus, road crime and road spirits, ancient banana relics, the advent of vaseline man, and bad Guy Fieri sex.

Our theme song is Butter Beans by Thelma Bolton and Tom Waltin, courtesy of the Florida Folklife Collection!