Hey one second, Monet has come back from the dead and is on the other line and he says "please get Hazel the nanny out of this episode." Just an idea! It's a real rollercoaster of an episode this week: on the upside, we meet Tasha. On the downside, Phyllis's family photo is troubling. Meanwhile: Bette and Jodi get dirty and nasty and high, Phyllis wants to orbit around Alice forever and ever, Debbie loves Lindsay's sexy armpits and also manatees, Helena breaks glass all over her tiny foods, Jenny publishes her Russian novella "Lez Girls" in The New Yorker, Paige wishes Shane would hit on her and so do we. Get your torsos into your pants everybody.

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Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein