Papi's first rule of poker is "Let Angela Robinson write and direct everything!" This week we get 11 minutes of lesbian phone tree perfection, a Stacey Merkin/Debbie McJenny showdown, some questionable rules of poker and the much-anticipated "Roll the Dice" premiere, during which everybody looked very Shane today. Will luck be a lady tonight? Will Paige make her grandmother's meatloaf? Have you ever gone to the hospital for a cut on your face? Did Megan deserve the promotion? These questions and more will be addressed in one of our favorite eps! Are Also, Carly had a lot of coffee!

Follow us on Instagram and Twitter at @tolandback

Follow Riese everywhere at @autowin and her esteemed website @autostraddle. Join our membership program, A+, to ensure our site lasts as long as this show did!

Follow Carly Usdin everywhere @carlytron

Theme song: Be Steadwell @besteadwell

Logo: Carra Sykes @carrasykes

Episode Produced, Mixed, Edited: Lauren Klein @laurentaylorklein