Why do your relationships with your employees always feel strained? Why don’t we feel like we’re a harmonious team running towards the same vision? Well, I have 3 pitfalls that business owners fall into today that cause friction and tension on every team I witness. Let’s talk about it. 

Hey there friends, Thomas Joyner with Business on Purpose here…just grateful for you tuning in to listen for a few minutes today.

Business Owners and employees. A match made in heaven? Right? Or hell! No, I’m kidding. But how can we help this obviously strained relationship? How can we have employees who feel respected and excited to come into work? Well, today I want to give you, the business owner, 3 things that you may do without even knowing it that probably contribute to friction and relational strain with your employees. 

Now, obviously, all of these are somewhat on a spectrum. I will speak towards the worst-case scenario but take some time to look inwardly and see if any part of it is true for you. At the end of the day, employees want a stable environment where their work is respected and they enjoy what they’re doing. 

Alright, let’s dive on in!

The first thing that business owners do that causes friction?

Failing to actively listen. I was challenged on this just last week. Occasionally we will sit in on each other’s coaching meetings just as a way to make sure we all have the same messaging and gain some powerful feedback on our effectiveness as coaches. I had another member of our team tell me to slow down a bit. As my client was speaking it felt like I was waiting for my turn to talk, to dive right in with the answer instead of validating the question and wait until they are finished speaking. 

I was so grateful for the critique because I didn’t even know I was doing it. So, if I’m doing it, are you? When you’re sitting in a team meeting are you trying to get through it as quickly as possible so you can get the team back to making money? Are you listening to your employees as they bring up frustrations? Do you check your phone during your check-ins and onboarding times? Do you shoot down their dreams and squash their complaints? Do you do anything with the information given? Or does it just sit in a file somewhere… and the information shared just falls on deaf ears.

Or do you give eye contact? Repeat the problems. Take the time to work through it with them? Follow up and help solve the problem? Lean in, not get worked up? You see, active listening takes time. It can’t be rushed through because the receiving side always senses it! Your employees can tell when you’re not with them and your mind is elsewhere. 

Resist the temptation to multitask in those situations and actively listen. It will help your relationships with your employees… I guarantee it.

1. Not communicating clearly.

This is one I see all the time in businesses… and just in my life in general! 

Just this weekend, I saw this in my own home. We laugh about it now, but it was not funny at the time! So, we were about to head to dinner with my in-laws on Friday night. My wife was getting ready and asked me to go put some nicer and warmer clothes on our kids for the evening. Nice and specific, right? Can’t screw this one up

So, I went upstairs, grabbed the first warm thing in the drawer for my son, the second warm thing for my daughter. And here’s where I admit that I am not known for dressing my kids well. I don’t understand color schemes and toddler fashion. I heard warm and nice.

As I get downstairs with the kids dressed (my son in grey sweatpants and a dark grey thermal shirt. My daughter in a white thermal that barely covered her midriff. My wife got frustrated with me and went up to change the kids again. I had picked the wrong thermal shirt and did not realize my mishaps until it was too late. The lack of clarity on the front end caused friction. 

Now, should I have known that gray on gray was probably not the best idea? Yep. Should I have grabbed a shirt for my daughter that covered all of her torso? Yes, most definitely yes. But this highlights the need for clear communication on the front end. 

Your employees need a clearly communicated request. We hear all the time, well they should know what I’m asking for. Why? They can’t read your mind and probably don’t care as much as you do. So set them up for success. Get specific. And write that specificity into a clearly articulated process for them to follow. 

That way it doesn’t have to be done twice! And that way you can celebrate a job well done instead of it leading to discontentment, resentment, and friction amongst the team. 

It is your job as the leader to set the standard and communicate. All the way, no assumptions.

1. Make no time for fun

I get it, there’s a time for fun and a time to grind. Scott in his coaching time last week talked about grinding…at the right time. There’s a time to put on the blinders and just get work done! But, how are you capturing the heart of your team? We’re coming up on calendar year 4 of this COVID pandemic. How are you helping be a pressure release valve as anxiety and stress for families are at an all-time high?

I was so proud of one of my clients who rose to the challenge and planned a team bowling afternoon with all of their employees still on the clock. They literally paid their employees to go bowling for the afternoon and made it fun along the way. 

That’s a team that they will not leave. That makes the hard conversations more bearable and shows that you care about them as more than just a cog in your businesses wheel. 

Make time for fun. Is it something silly at your team meeting, a minute to win it game, or something to break up the monotony? Is it a movie night where they bring their families? How are you infusing some fun along the way? We spend ⅓ of our lives at work… isn’t there some room for enjoyment and fun in the midst of it all? I think so and I think every time you do, it releases some of that friction and makes you feel more like a team they want to be a part of.

So, to recap. Friction is intensified when you

1. Fail to actively listen,
2. Fail to communicate clearly
3. Make no time for fun along the way

I hope that makes sense. If you need help thinking through this, please reach out. We’d love to help

Have a great week