The Skillful Podcast

#7: Understanding Validation in Relationships and Why We All Need It


Listen Later

Do you know how important it is to feel validated? Validation lets us know that we have been heard and understood. We all have the need to be understood by others, especially those closest to us. Today Marielle and Ed discuss the importance of validation in all interpersonal relationships. They describe the different levels of validation and they take a look at the detrimental effects of being invalidated by someone. Tune in now to find out more.

Validation is a necessary part of all relationships, from the most intimate relationships to friendships and work relationships. Marielle and Ed start today's episode with a definition of what invalidation is to give a sense of what it looks like and talk about how painful it feels to be on the receiving end of it. Listen in today, to find out what validation is and why it matters so much in relationships. 

Show Highlights:

  • Marielle explains what invalidation is and what it looks like.
  • Being invalidated feels painful and it can cause people to become defensive and angry.
  • It is possible to validate someone's experience without having to agree with them.
  • What validation is and why it matters so much in relationships.
  • Validation is the best way to connect and understand someone else's personal experiences.
  • Why and how validation acts as a social lubricant.
  • Differentiating intent versus impact.
  • How validation can prevent defensiveness.
  • How validation differs from simply agreeing.
  • The benefits of starting hard conversations with validation.
  • The different levels of validation.
  • Paying attention is the first and most basic level of validation.
  • The next level of validation is reflecting back what you have heard without judgment. 
  • The third level of validation is called “reading minds”. This is a more advanced level of validation. It involves noticing and sensing what is going on with the other person without them having to tell us. It is powerful but it can also be tricky.

Links:

www.bayareadbtcc.com 

Ask Us a Question!

We’d love to hear from you! Where are you getting stuck with your skills application? Ask us a question for the chance to have it answered on the podcast. Submit your question here. 

Please note that questions, and this podcast in general, are not a substitute for individual mental health treatment.

...more
View all episodesView all episodes
Download on the App Store

The Skillful PodcastBy Bay Area DBT & Couples Counseling Center

  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9
  • 4.9

4.9

325 ratings


More shows like The Skillful Podcast

View all
Democracy Now! Audio by Democracy Now!

Democracy Now! Audio

5,660 Listeners

This American Life by This American Life

This American Life

90,779 Listeners

Tara Brach by Tara Brach

Tara Brach

10,445 Listeners

Hidden Brain by Hidden Brain, Shankar Vedantam

Hidden Brain

43,245 Listeners

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson by Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

2,411 Listeners

Counselor Toolbox Podcast with DocSnipes by Dr. Dawn-Elise Snipes

Counselor Toolbox Podcast with DocSnipes

597 Listeners

Therapist Uncensored Podcast by Sue Marriott LCSW, CGP & Ann Kelley PhD

Therapist Uncensored Podcast

1,376 Listeners

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel by Esther Perel Global Media

Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel

14,807 Listeners

Psychiatry & Psychotherapy Podcast by David Puder, M.D.

Psychiatry & Psychotherapy Podcast

1,309 Listeners

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos by Pushkin Industries

The Happiness Lab with Dr. Laurie Santos

14,532 Listeners

DBT & Me by Michelle Henderson and Kate Sherman

DBT & Me

135 Listeners

We Can Do Hard Things by Glennon Doyle and Audacy

We Can Do Hard Things

41,099 Listeners

The Way Out Is In by Plum Village

The Way Out Is In

1,219 Listeners

Jillian on Love by Jillian Turecki | QCODE

Jillian on Love

1,327 Listeners

Good Hang with Amy Poehler by The Ringer

Good Hang with Amy Poehler

5,088 Listeners