7lb Lobsters

Stop whatever you're doing right now and watch the newly released trailer for Space Jam 2. Then listen to this emergency podcast. Or listen to this emergency podcast then watch the newly released trailer for Space Jam 2. This emergency podcast was recorded on the same day the newly released trailer for Space Jam 2 was released. Stop whatever you're doing right now.

Stop whatever you're doing right now and watch the newly released trailer for Space Jam 2. Then listen to this emergency podcast. Or listen to this emergency podcast then watch the newly released trailer for Space Jam 2. This emergency podcast was recorded on the same day the newly released trailer for Space Jam 2 was released. Stop whatever you're doing right now.

Mike and Connor go long explaining to Ray the long history of the DCEU and the long list of executive mismanagement misdemeanors that led to the long anticipated release of the long Zack Snyder cut of Justice League. It's big, it's bold, it's the rare triumph of an artist over the soulless corporate studio system, and it still sucks. But at least Zack Snyder and his legions of fans were vindicated in this one instance, while the rest of us are just forced to deal with the way our content culture crumbles, one franchise at a time, until we're all just watching IP sharing trailers with other IP in whatever new Space Jam movie has been released as an NFT this fiscal quarter. And the Snyder Cut is proof that at some point the Lola Bunny fans will surely have their day when their favorite cartoon bunny to grow up masturbating to has her cartoon bunny boobs restored, bigger than ever before, by the popular demand of an online movement led by, like, James Woods or something. What else can we say, folks? That's just 2020 for you!

Welcome back Claw Nation! Frozen lobster Connor has finally completed thawing from the recent Texas Winter Storm, and his first-hand experience with the latest natural disaster gives way to Ray's first-hand experience with conspiracy theories, none of which we believe, but have successfully used our podcast to spread like fake snow from Ted Cruz's weather machine. That's just good business. Much like the business our Worldwide Waning American Empire Foundation routinely conducts for itself as the faces and the heels of our two-party system endlessly argue over which political party's responsible for preventing the political party in power from doing the things the political party in power has the power to do - unless of course that thing is bombing the shit out of any developing country we're already occupying - and that's no conspiracy. Or is it? Conjure up your weak and stupid 5G Patronus, sit back, relax, listen and find out. And also #FreeGarfield. Additionally, to provide much-needed disaster relief to help folks in Texas, you can give to @austinmutualaid on Venmo.

No one can contain their excitement for the upcoming BIG FIGHT MOVIE due out on HBO Max and in Max COVID theaters this spring, and we're placin' our bets on who's gonna take it all. You no doubt already know to which movie we are referring, but we also take time to talk sports - specifically the big game - and all of us place admittedly safe bets on Tom Brady to grab the horse by the hose and full throttle 'er down the field to valhalla where four full R-rated hours of Justice League: The Snyder Cut await exclusively on HBO Max and not in any kind of theaters this spring. So we place our bets on WHICH superhero is gonna say THAT word in THIS version of THE Justice League. Along the way, we conspire to make Marjorie Taylor Greene Connor's wife so we can give 7lb Lobsters a much-needed boost in the unending series of ebbs and flows that make up the quality control of a long-running podcast. It is what it is but President Biden has promised us that he will be a special guest on the show just as soon as he gets those darn stimulus checks out, and that surely can't take much longer.

Like most major earth-shaking events since 2011 or so, we find out right away that Ray was directly behind Reddit's pumpin' and dumpin' of GameStop shares and hedge fund scares, another pace-setting game-changer in an infinite list of 7lb Lobster pace-setting game-changers. Buy low, get high, and don't watch Tenet - the Chris Nolan time travel joint that Ray's still mad at Connor for making us watch, and probably forever will be, in the past as in the future, amen. The boys take up a lot of time unloading on Tenet for taking up a lot of time, concerning itself with how the future can affect the past and vice versa, all the while ignoring how miserable it makes you in the present. Not entirely unlike congress, whose legislation to raise the minimum wage to $15 per hour in 2025 should have been passed in 2010 so that we could have had a less miserable present in 2021 but like The Shins said in 2001 this is an Oh, Inverted World, and it sucked then, it sucks now, and will continue to suck in the future, just like Tenet. But at least we have the lobsters to lighten the load. We also have Mattress Monthly, a service that delivers a new mattress to your door every month. Go to MATRESS-MONTHLY.COM and get 5% off of your first year's subscription using promo code LOBSTER at checkout! Listen NOW to find out MORE and BUY a mattress EVERT month THIS month TODAY!

The boys #standbythesteal in this lower key unpacking of 2021's first two weeks, which include an attempt by swimming pool maintenance business owners to seize control of our nation's capital for Donald Trump that ultimately resulted in a second impeachment trial for Donald Trump, who was still currently president at the time of this recording and is still currently president at the time of this writing. All of this is well and good if you still care about America for some reason, but the boys have correctly determined that the attempted insurrection and our government's response to it was all ultimately a pro-wrestling smokeshow to distract from the real tragedy that befell this nation in 2020: Wonder Woman 1984.

The boys are fucking stoked about our future. New shows and movies to watch about old favorites on Disney+, Bob Iger potentially becoming an ambassador to China, Cyberpunk 2077 to be released again at some point, and of course, advances in technology that will allow us to determine the exact location of a person from nothing but a picture of them eating a hot dog at a restaurant that just so happens to be posted online. Actually, you can do the last one right now. The future is now and the boys are fucking stoked about it.

The boys are fucking stoked about our future. New shows and movies to watch about old favorites on Disney+, Bob Iger potentially becoming an ambassador to China, Cyberpunk 2077 to be released again at some point, and of course, advances in technology that will allow us to determine the exact location of a person from nothing but a picture of them eating a hot dog at a restaurant that just so happens to be posted online. Actually, you can do the last one right now. The future is now and the boys are fucking stoked about it.

The boys come clean about the unfathomably massive amounts of voter fraud Ray successfully committed on the behalf of our next President Joe "Big Mack" Biden as well as on the behalf of America's Only Podcast for Ten Years Running. We also talk about being on the front lines for the now-famous Hat on a Duck movement and urge you to make a donation to the Hat on a Duck Patreon. You should also donate to our regular Patreon to help us offset the enormous costs we've incurred for our canceled 2020 live tour. And finally, if you can find our secret Patreon, and if you have any leads as to the identity of Connor's girlfriend's murderer, please donate to that as well in addition to telling us whatever you may know. We'd really like to close the case on this one.