Surprisingly, I rarely fly. I prefer overland travel, which contributes fewer greenhouse gases than planes.

I've never sat next to a baby, but I pity those who have, including the parents.

Send this Public Service Announcement (PSA) for the travel holidays to anyone who plans to fly with a baby. 

Ah, toddlers. Tiny humans with the volume knob cranked to eleven and the attention span of a goldfish on Red Bull. So, you're brave enough to take one on a plane? Buckle up, buttercup, because it's gonna be a flight... interesting.

But fear not, weary warrior! Here's your arsenal for surviving (and maybe even enjoying) an airborne adventure with your mini-me:

Booking direct flights is like finding the secret passage in a video game. One entry, minimal fuss. Aim for a non-stop odyssey. Fewer disturbances mean fewer chances for your tiny traveler to unleash their vocal powers mid-air.

2. Connecting Flights Should Have Longer Layover

For those facing the unavoidable layover quest, fear not! Seek connections with longer layovers—2 to 3 hours, the sweet spot for parental peace. A break for the toddler to stretch, tire out, and possibly snooze on the second leg. Just avoid layovers longer than your toddler's attention span.

The purpose of more extended layovers is that air pressure may alter the ears of the baby, making them fussy. As adults, we manage to handle this change in air pressure, but babies can not. Therefore, they start screaming. If you have a longer layover, it will allow the baby to settle down.

Secondly, it will give them time to stretch their body and get themselves tired. 

Get in before the stampede of luggage and confused tourists. Let your offspring claim the throne of their airplane kingdom before the peasants arrive. Just promise you won't use the microphone to announce their nap schedule.

Think Mary Poppins's carpetbag filled with enough snacks, wipes, and distractions to rival a Disney theme park. Diapers? Pack more than you think, then triple it. Trust us, a poopnado at 30,000 feet is not a good look.

It should include:

• Diapers

You should always keep extra diapers in your hand carry, even if your flight is as short as one hour. You never know when a baby might soil the diaper, which can get extremely uncomfortable. Keeping some snacks in your bag can keep your baby busy for some time.

Dress your tyke for the runway of comfort. No puffer jackets or haute couture discomfort, please. Loose-fitted clothes are the fashion-forward choice. Remember, a comfortable toddler is a happy toddler, and a happy toddler is a quieter one.

Secure a kingdom for your little royalty—a separate seat for the tiny traveler. A car seat fortress ensures safety and grants you respite from the lap-monarchy. Buckle up, little one, for the journey of a lifetime!

Leave strollers, car seats, and inflatable T-Rexes for the ground crew. Trust us; you'll have enough to juggle without becoming a circus act with a carry-on the size of a small car.

Distraction is Your Weapon! Tablets loaded with cartoons? Check. Finger puppets that tell Shakespearean sonnets? Why not? Anything to keep those tiny eyes glued to something other than the screaming lady in seat 12B.

And there you have it, intrepid parent – a guide to turn your toddler's travel saga into a comedy of errors, laughter, and a few well-earned victories. May your flights be smooth, your snacks abundant, and your toddler's giggles the soundtrack to your epic adventure! Safe travels!

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