FamilyLife Today®

9 Days to a Better Sex Life (Part One) - Dave and Ashley Willis


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In this episode, Dave and Ashley Willis, alongside hosts David and Anne Wilson, share their journey of navigating marriage, mental health, vulnerability, and the struggles that come with facing hidden struggles, such as anxiety, depression, and pornography. The conversation is deeply personal as they explore the challenges they've faced in their own marriages, offering listeners practical advice and powerful stories of grace and healing.

The episode opens with a humorous and warm exchange between the hosts and guests. Dave and Ashley Willis drive down from Atlanta to Orlando and talk about their marriage ministry, which has flourished through Facebook, podcasts, and other online resources. They began with a simple Facebook page called "Marriage," later rebranded as “Naked Marriage.” This title, while provocative, is grounded in the biblical concept of "naked and unashamed," emphasizing the importance of emotional intimacy in marriage. They highlight the idea that marriage should be a place of full vulnerability, where secrets are laid bare, and trust is developed.

Ashley shares a personal story about the struggles with anxiety and depression she faced early in their marriage. For years, she kept her anxiety a secret from Dave, feeling deep shame. However, after a painful moment of realizing she couldn’t carry the burden alone, she finally confided in Dave. His patient, understanding response played a pivotal role in her healing process. This moment is a beautiful example of what it looks like when partners support each other in marriage, choosing presence over the need to fix.

The conversation then turns to the topic of pornography, which, despite its prevalence in society, remains a taboo subject in many marriages. Dave shares his own battle with pornography, acknowledging the secrecy and shame he felt, and how it became a significant obstacle in his marriage. He describes his initial decision to keep his struggles hidden from Ashley, believing he could overcome them on his own. However, when Ashley discovered his secret years later, the initial confrontation was intense, filled with emotions of betrayal, anger, and shame. Over time, with grace, accountability, and the support of each other, they worked through the difficulty together.

The couple discusses the ongoing challenges that many couples face regarding pornography in their relationships, and they emphasize that it is a problem in and out of the church. They point out that while it’s a difficult issue to confront, bringing it into the light is the key to finding freedom and healing.

The episode wraps up with an invitation for listeners to access their free eBook, Nine Days to Great Sex, a resource designed to help couples break free from barriers like pornography and rediscover intimacy. It’s clear from this conversation that both Dave and Ashley, and David and Anne, have made it their life’s mission to help married couples build trust, communicate openly, and develop deeper emotional intimacy.

Show Notes and Resources

  • Learn more about Dave and Ashley Willis and sign up for their  9 Days to Great Sex eBook at their website.
  • Listen to the "Marriage on the Line" podcast.
  • Every donation to FamilyLife in May will be matched. Donate today on our website.
  • Find resources from this podcast at shop.familylife.com.
  • See resources from our past podcasts.
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