In this podcast episode, Dave and Ashley Willis return to discuss their ministry, Naked Marriage, with hosts Dave and Ann Wilson, focusing on the importance of emotional and spiritual openness within marriage. The episode starts with an update on their four children, including the unique characteristics of each child and how they keep the couple both young and old at the same time.

The conversation then dives into the topic of “secrets” in marriage, specifically addressing the issue of pornography and its impact on relationships. The Willises explore the emotional pain caused by hidden secrets, especially when one partner reveals something like pornography use, which feels like a betrayal. Ashley shares her personal experience of battling anxiety, which she kept hidden from Dave, and the impact it had on their relationship.

A major point of discussion centers around how couples can navigate such revelations, with Dave sharing his past struggles with pornography and how he dealt with them. He discusses how keeping secrets, particularly regarding pornography, can lead to guilt and shame, and how the act of keeping such secrets can create a cycle of deceit in relationships.

Ashley offers advice to women who are dealing with the revelation of such secrets from their husbands, emphasizing the need to feel and process emotions like anger and grief, but also not to let those feelings dictate the future of the relationship. She underscores that it’s important for couples to face the truth and the pain together. The couple also talks about how boundaries and accountability tools are critical in relationships to avoid temptation, especially in today's digital age.

The conversation also touches on the importance of open communication with children about pornography and the necessity of setting up safeguards, like filtering software, to protect young minds. Dave and Ashley emphasize how their open dialogue about sex with their children has been crucial to creating a safe space for them to ask questions without shame.

Finally, the episode delves into the broader theme of healing from past trauma and secrets, encouraging listeners to bring the truth into the light for healing and freedom. They discuss the importance of not keeping any secret that might weigh heavily on the relationship, with both partners sharing their past struggles and the power of vulnerability in marriage.

Show Notes and Resources

• Learn more about Dave and Ashley Willis and sign up for their  9 Days to Great Sex eBook at their website.
• Listen to the "Marriage on the Line" podcast.
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