Often, there can feel as though there is a conflict between the ways we would like to parent, and the social and structural forces that shape and influence our everyday lives as mothers. Amanda Connell from Spilt Milk Psychology joins me in this conversation to discuss the ways so often, our ‘needs’ as mothers are framed as being in competition with the needs of our children. Negotiating this and finding space for our ‘selves’ is therefore connected with the idea that we need to be separated from our children – to have time away from the to ‘come up for air’. We challenge this narrative and the pressure mothers face to always centralize our children and place their needs above our own. Amanda offers us examples and tools for how we can learn to build our own ‘oxygen tank’ to ‘breathe under water’, and honour the ambivalence that is part of mothering. We talk about toxic positivity, how to teach our children how to deal with disappointment, strategies to cultivate self-compassion, and much more. Amanda has a range of offerings for professionals and the general public which will be launching soon from her website spiltmilkpsych.com/