9to5 Entertainment System (9ES)

If you’re into horror movies (and if you’re a devout 9ES listening you just might be) I don’t mind telling you that ‘The Substance’ might be my favorite horror movie of 2024.

I think the shortlist here includes Longlegs and maybe Cuckoo but The Substance is an easy pick over both of those films if only because it is more interesting to look at it and sticks with you in a much, much more visceral way. The Substance also has a lot more to actually “say” than those other films and that counts for a lot too.

Donald Trump is going to be President again and there was kind of no way we weren’t going to talk about it a little, but I promise we try not to wallow too much and keep it as light as we can. Also, we recorded this on Monday so when Keith was like “Elon Musk might definitely be a part of this government”, it hadn’t happened yet. Womp womp. He gets his own whole new department of the government! What a fun and cool turn of events!

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… we finally finish off going over Rolling Stone’s “Top 150 Best Science Fiction Movies” list that came out earlier this year. That means we finally get through the Top 10! Honestly we were pretty sure of a lot of these before we went further into the list but there were still a few surprises. Hot take – we have hot takes. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

PS: Sorry this episode is a little late – Jono has strep throat so has been down for the count this week.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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I think when it comes to movies taking insane swings I am firmly “for”. Sure Francis Ford Coppola might regret spending $120 million of his own money on Megalopolis, a film that I’m told is “an overstuffed opus that’s equal parts stimulating and slapdash”, but isn’t that better than just being Avengers 11 or whatever?

It’s why a part of me (Keith) has a special place in my heart for films like Cats and Southland Tales. Cats is arguably terrible and Southland Tales is a disjointed mess of ideas that never come to fruition. But aren’t we happy they exist?

I’ll definitely see Megalopolis eventually, if only to form my opinions but also to see what the hubbub is about. (See also Joker 2). We’re kind of lead to believe that studios and producers are constantly standing in the way of visionary directors but maybe they’re actually sometimes really good at their jobs and are actually reigning in terrible ideas?

Speaking of visionary directors – we take a crack at populating the “Mount Rushmore” of horror film directors. I’m not sure if we land on a definitive four or not but we certainly make some compelling cases.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… we continue to dig into Rolling Stone’s “Top 150 Best Science Fiction Movies” list that came out earlier this year and we make it through another 15 movies. That means after this we will only have the Top 10 movies left to go over! We’ve got so many more opinions about the top ranked movies than the bottom ones obviously. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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Beetlejuice Beetlejuice was… fine? Good even. I think it ends up feeling like a bit of a letdown because of the 36 year gap between the release of the original. If you waited 36 years to make a sequel and get most of the cast back together it kind of feels like you’re making it because some kind of inspiration struck.

It doesn’t quite feel like a cash grab. There’s a little more artistry and respect given to the original than something completely money-grubbing and derivative might have going for it. Beetlejuice Beetlejuice would have probably felt fine if it came out in 1994 instead of 2024.

Anyhow, Scott watched Abigail so that means we’re two-thirds of the way to putting a new movie on the list and also we assign Jon a brand new movie to watch that I think he will find particularly loathsome.

Off the top of the show we run our mouths about the UN which sends us on a mildly religious tangent (remember that Keith was raised as Jehovah’s Witness so that can pop up from time to time) and then we talk about how Google might get broken up by the American Government. So if half-informed political chatter is your thing then we’ve definitely got you covered on that front.

Finally, Keith went to Chicago and Jono has never heard of “The Bean” (a Cloud Gate by any other name).

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… we continue to dig into Rolling Stone’s “Top 150 Best Science Fiction Movies” list that came out earlier this year and we make it through another 20 movies. I’m not sure we will even be able to finish it off in one more sitting. We’ve got so many more opinions about the top ranked movies than the bottom ones obviously. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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We’re probably a little late to the whole “Dave Grohl scandal” if somehow a rockstar getting a lady pregnant constitutes a scandal anymore. Grohl is kind of the bridge between the classic and modern rockstar and a lot of times leans a lot more into the “classic” variety in terms of his public persona.

I guess maybe it stings a little that he has been presenting himself as a dad recently but in my mind he’s still the guy who casually has three or four shots of Jager and a few beers before every show and getting arrested for drunk driving a little scooter around.

As Scott says maybe we should just stop treating celebrities like people. I don’t know how to feel about that.

You know who else doesn’t treat people like people? Vince McMahon! What a segue. Keith watched all 6 parts of the Netflix docuseries on “Mr. McMahon” and honestly if you want a much more honest and sordid account you need look no further than the Behind the Bastards series on the monster himself.

It’s also the dawn of spooky season so we talk up a bunch of horror flicks and podcasts too so if you’re looking for spooookkky recommendations we got those too.

If reading transcribed Nardwuar interviews is your thing, you can do that here.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… we continue to dig into Rolling Stone’s “Top 150 Best Science Fiction Movies” list that came out earlier this year and now both Jon and Scott have thoughts! Last time we made it through a full half 75 but this time we only made it through 30. We have more opinions the deeper we go! If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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The Montreal podcast that would never lie to you like Stan Lee has returned to the airwaves of the internet to talk mostly about the Editor in Chiefs of Marvel Comics.

Look, there’s no good way to say this – Jono is off taking care of his sick family so it’s left to Scott and I to hold down the fort that is the 9to5 Entertainment System. What does that mean for you, the listener? It means we’re going to get really, really nerdy about comic books.

We talk briefly about Scott’s role as the Ever-Lovin’ Blue Eyed Thing in the Avengers Audio Drama (check out his episode here) before getting into some really deep Marvel comic publishing history. Which of course leads to us talking about the history of everyone who has ever held the title of “Editor in Chief” over at Marvel comics. That naturally leads into a discussion about how Stan Lee Lied.

But listen, love him or hate him the man had a very good moustache and that has to count for something. We also talk briefly about the ads we’ve been seeing for Transformers: One. Have you noticed that it’s just the voice actors goofing off? They’re trying to sell us the movie by showing how much fun it was to make. I’m willing to bet that the people making “Movie 42” had a bunch of a fun on set. How did that turn out?

Meanwhile, over on Garbage Time we start digging into the first half of Rolling Stone’s “Top 150 Best Science Fiction Movies” list that came out earlier this year and Scott has thoughts! If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

The post 9ES 319: Stan Lee Lied appeared first on 9to5 (dot cc).

If the hosts of 9ES were stranded on the International Space Station because they were Boeing Starliner astronauts hearing strange pinging noises outside of the airlock there would literally be only one person we would want to be stranded with.

You can also better believe that we would keep doing the podcast from space. “The 9to5 Entertainment System: IN SPACE” has a nice ring to it.

I hope that when the three of us are in our 80s space tourism has advanced to the point where it’s feasible that we can make the dream of podcasting this show from space a reality. Stay tuned for episode 1320 – where we are in space.

I really wish there was a version of the introduction to Chinese Grand Finals of League of Legends where there wasn’t a streamer talking over it for you to appreciate the full majesty of the pageantry involved, but I couldn’t find one. I barely looked, but I still couldn’t find one. There are people in robes making special hand signs, a full orchestra, the trophy descending from the sky like Shawn Michaels… it’s spectacular.

I think the only thing that would make it better would be if the players themselves took to the stage wearing special team coloured robes as they took the stage. But no – they are just in special track suits.

Make it more like wrestling please.

All that to say it’s the time of year where Jon is watching highly competitive League of Legends and we do our best to try and contextualize why it’s cool. The back half of this episode is dominated by breaking down the gigabangers of the League Of Legends North American LCS Finals this past week.

GIGABANGERS.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… there is no Garbage Time! Due to scheduling and Scott maybe having Covid-19 we couldn’t get a GT in for your listening pleasure. Instead we’ve re-uploaded one of our very first hard-to-find episodes: 9ES Episode 7 – Our Tabletop Gaming Origin Stories. I listened to about 5 minutes of this episode and the audio quality and the general lack of quality all around is pretty cringe. There’s a good amount of toot-talk right off the top. That’s why it’s behind a paywall. Subscribe and find out just how bad it is! If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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When you watch the film “Twisters” you will notice that basically a town gets leveled by one of the titular Twisters just about every single day. I think the movie takes place in the span of about a week but who knows? Anyways, I found it kind of jarring that a town gets wiped off the map by a tornado and what seems to be a town away is still having their little rodeo or little league game or whatever.

Where is the fear of the twisters!?

We spend a good chunk of the movie talking about “Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego?” and this is the video that we reference in the show from DefunctLand. I even went back and watched a full episode on YouTube and honestly it really holds up as a kids gameshow and hot damn does that theme song slap. Scott’s not kidding either: Rockapella has released 19 albums since 1986, as recently as 2019.

Finally, one of us finally watched Deadpool and Wolverine. The movie has made over a billion dollars and is still performing well. It raked in over $30 million dollars domestic on its fourth week in theaters. Meanwhile Borderlands is getting yanked from theaters and going straight to VOD this week.

Remember kids: Make good movies.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… we talk about the Montreal Canadiens trading for Patrick Laine. The amount of times Garbage Time becomes a secret sports podcast is kind of hilarious to me. To counterbalance things we talk about some movies that we’ve seen recently although I couldn’t tell you which ones since I didn’t take them down in my notes and I have the memory of a goldfish. Subscribe and find out!  If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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I guess it’s an election year so politics is going to creep into our podcast more and more until November. This time we talk about the Right Wing getting really mad that France did “The Last Supper” in drag and how “Republicans are Weird” is now a trend.

Let’s see if we can look at a quote and determine if it was spoken by a sitting Senator or a 5th Grader:

“They called us weird so I’ll call them weirder.”

Of course it’s a Senator – that would be Marco Rubio. Both side pointing fingers at each other and going “you’re weird” is where we’re at in politics I guess.

Anyhow, Jon finally watched The Flash which means for some reason that I can’t really explain we have now all watched The Flash. That means it’s time to rank that bad boy on the list!

Finally we close things off talking about how Marvel has pivoted away from Kong towards Doctor Doom by casting Rober Downey Jr. as Victor Von Doom. Will it work? Who knows? Does anyone care? Yes. Lots of people. The people who listen to this podcast.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… we talk a LOT about Star Wars. In all of its many Star Shapes and Star Sizes. Keith watched all 4 hours and change of Jenny Nicholson’s take down of “Galactic Starcruise” (aka The Star Wars Hotel), Scott watched The Acolyte and there’s probably some other Star Wars stuff in there too. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

The post 9ES316: Laughing At Professionals appeared first on 9to5 (dot cc).

Honestly all of the news surrounding the 2024 election cycle is equal parts exhausting and terrifying.

The pop-culture movie nerd in me kind of feels like in the trilogy of Trump running for president, the 2024 election is where the series is really going off the rails. It’s kind of like the Fast and the Furious, where so much crazy shit has gone down in the first two outings that they’re stuck sending characters into space at a certain point.

Is that where we’re headed? Are the presidential nominees going to fly into space in their cars? Would it really be that surprising if that happened?

Now that I’ve written about the 2024 election a little in this blurb maybe this episode will get censored by the algorithm. True story, if you do a Google search for “Kamala Harris” (at least here in Canada) you will see “Some results may have been delisted consistent with local laws.” at the bottom of the page. That’s a little weird, right?

Anyways, we talk a bunch about nerdy shit and movies and the Fantasia International Film Festival for the second half so if all this political stuff gets to you just move right along to the part where we start talking about Deadpool & Wolverine.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… Jon watched Batman Returns and that gets us all uppity about which of the first 4 Batman movies is the best. The answers may shock you! Also somehow Jono hasn’t watched “The Batman” yet so he should really get on that. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

The post 9ES315: Dysfunctional Insanity appeared first on 9to5 (dot cc).

What can we say about Avengers of Justice: Farce Wars that hasn’t already been said? Apparently a whole lot.

Avengers of Justice literally does not have any ratings on Rotten Tomatoes. I am pretty sure that means it doesn’t actually exist.

It’s possible that we’ve all had a collective fever dream and somehow it manifested Avengers of Justice.

I can’t even find any news articles or anything about it beyond the casting announcement. The guy who produced it (Shaun Sanghani) seems to have produced legitimate films (you will notice on that list that Avengers of Justice doesn’t have its own Wikipedia page). Why did he produce this?

How did they get genuine actors to star in this? Steve Rannazzisi and Amy Smart are real actors you’ve seen in real films and television shows! We may never know how this got made, but Scott watched it so there’s that.

We close off the back half of the show by talking about a quote that I believe originated in this article.

“Software developers are the wizards and shamans of the modern age. We ought to use our powers with the austerity and integrity such power implies.”

How do you feel about that statement? Well, we will tell you how we feel about in this episode.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time… by some happy accident both Scott and Keith watched Total Recall in the last two weeks and Jon has watched it pretty recently. So this episode of Garbage Time is really mostly about Total Recall. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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