9to5 Entertainment System (9ES)

I’m really happy that Godzilla Minus One won an Academy Award. We take the piss out of the Oscars almost every year. There’s something wrong with a system that takes a look at hundreds of movies a year and then goes “these are the best 10” and eventually “this is the best one.” So much of it is subjective and it’s well documented that the Academy has a “type” of movie that it rewards.

Sure it won in a special effects category but there’s something refreshing about Godzilla Minus One winning an Oscar all the same. Godzilla movies don’t win Oscars man. That’s crazy. Anyhow it did and that’s awesome. Scott watched it and loved it.

Keith played a round of Atmosfear over the weekend and that was wild in its own way. The game came out in 1991 and it certainly feels like a 33 year old game. You roll dice and move forward and pick up “Chance” and “Fate” cards. Sounds like Monopoly in a lot of ways and in a lot of ways it is.

Except there’s a weird old guy screaming at you on your television while you play.

That’s the game!

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – we talk about the disappointing (to some) ending of the NHL Playoffs and the excellent BlackBerry series on CBC Gem. Jon also tries to figure out if we can reverse engineer free internet over your cellphone but not the way you think. Finally we talk about some old HBO shows like The Sopranos, The Wire and Oz. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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It is no surprise that at least one of us saw Furiosa pretty close to it’s release. You need only look at “The List” and see Fury Road proudly sitting in the #2 spot to know that at least some of us on this show would happily check out Furiosa on the biggest screen possible in a movie theater.

I don’t know why Scott hates Mad Max movies.

Furiosa is a peculiar beast of a movie – it’s certainly no Fury Road and it probably isn’t even The Road Warrior. Maybe the 5 chapters of the film would have been better served by being a 5 part prestige television series on HBO or something. The “Stowaway to Nowhere” action scene may still be one of the greatest action sequences in cinematic history though.

There’s something a little bittersweet about going to see Cat Power, Modest Mouse and The Pixies all perform on the same stage. Cat Power started releasing music in 1992, Modest Mouse in 1993 and the Pixies started in 1986. That’s over a century of music making and a lot of the music is stuff I associate with high-school and college. Aging sucks man.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – Keith discusses 10 Things that Made No Sense In The Predator (1987).This inevitably leads to the boys just talking a bunch about The Predator. Keith also listened to Random Access Memories by Daft Punk in the very high-tech listening room at the Phi Center in Montreal, which is something you can do until August 11 if you’re interested. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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I know that we’ve talked about “Late Night With The Devil” before on this show but it’s a rare thing that all three hosts manage to see the same movie within like 2 months of its release date. So here we are, your one stop shop for news and reviews of “Late Night With The Devil”.

It’s been well documented that Keith and Jon are pretty big horror fans, but as has been discussed a bunch during this 311 episode run is that Scott has very different tastes for his spooky delights. Late Night With The Devil impossibly checks boxes for all of us and honestly might be one of those rare horror movies that you can recommend to just about anyone.

Except maybe people who think you should burn your copies of any Dungeons & Dragons books. Those people will not enjoy it.

Anyhow – we’re about two months away from Jake Paul vs Mike Tyson and we really needed to talk about the crazy shit that came out of Tyson’s mouth this week. This is the man who once said he wanted to eat another man’s children so why are we all acting surprised?

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – Keith runs through a list of famous people who are banned from buying fancy Italian sports cars and Jon watched The Wonderful Story of Henry Sugar so we deep dive into Roald Dahl a little bit. Keith and Jon are firmly Team Roald, but Scott needs some convincing.  If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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Regardless of where you stand on the actual ethics and claims made in the various diss tracks during the Kendrick vs Drake beef – I would be hard-pressed to come up with a rapper this side of MF Doom (RIP) that I would want to face off in a rap-battle with less than Kendrick Lamar. Like, if I got into an argument with Mike Tyson, I would not choose “boxing” as the agreed upon method of conflict resolution.

Keith would try to beat him at Power Stone.

2024 also marked the first time (I think) that any of us watched an entire Grand Final of Eurovision. The musical competition that has such strict participation rules that Celine Dion once won the competition on behalf of Switzerland. Perhaps that perplexing win was what inspired the genius that is Windows95Man to compose their hit “No Rules” at this year’s edition?

Do yourself a favor and watch the performance right now.

Finally, we also talk about the Fallout television series and Keith makes some vague references to how it might tie in to the video game series. They probably do a better job of cataloging that sort of thing over on more reputable websites.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – Jon and Keith get into some of the weirdest magic items in Dungeons & Dragons 5e – we based ourselves on the excellent YouTube video from TheD&DLogs that you should probably check out as well. We are such lucky boys that we’ve even encountered a few of these weirdos “in the wild” of our campaigns.  If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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Zack Snyder scargiveth and Zack Snyder scartaketh away. That sentence is apropos of nothing other than fun wordplay with the very dumb title that is Rebel Moon – Part 2: The Scargiver. Also I’m wondering just how deep the Scargiver marketing goes because as of writing this in Google Docs both “scargiveth” and “scargiver” are not showing up as spelling mistakes.

Is Scargiver a real word?

It might not be, but Scargiver is a real movie and apparently, if Jon is to be believed, is an improvement on whatever the hell the first one was called. Snyder tells a simpler story and the film is better for it. Meanwhile, our suspicions that all of these characters had stupid generic backstories are fully confirmed in the second outing into the Snyder Wars universe.

Seriously though, Scott ranks all of the major sports trophies. This discussion was the natural evolution of the PWHL unveiling their “Walter Cup” a few weeks ago. It’s pretty terrible, but might not be the worst. Major League Baseball, we’re looking in your direction. We close the show off as we have been every episode recently: by Scott and Keith catching up about X-Men ‘97 while Jon continues to have not seen a single episode.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – it’s more comic talk! Honestly, with Keith just blasting through heaps of Marvel comics this might be the trend for a while. This time we get into the lackluster “Fear Itself” run and we educate Jon about the glory of Red Hulk and how he definitely should not have lasted beyond that initial Jeph Loeb run. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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This episode of the 9to5 Entertainment System is steeped in nostalgia and it’s almost entirely unintentional. I guess the new season of X-Men ‘97 has us all thinking about simpler times.

Simpler times like when Brian Mulroney was in charge of the country. Was he all bad? I guses people can be bad and good.

Like Magneto from X-Men 97. Yes, we talk about Episode 5 like the rest of the internet this week so if you’re watching the series and aren’t up to date this is your spoiler warning (in writing) that we close off the show diving deep into spoiler-town USA.

We also talk quite a bit about the exploits of Matt from Dinosaur Dracula (and formerly of X-Entertainment). All about nostalgia! 1000 years of nostalgia! It’s not even an exaggeration to say that there’s a good chance that 9to5.cc doesn’t exist if it wasn’t for Scott and Keith being really into X-Entertainment in the late 90s and early 2000s. Sadly, I can’t seem to find the X-E archives anymore so maybe it’s gone forever. Womp womp.

Oh – and we assign Scott a new Best Movie Ever and boy oh boy is it a beauty.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – it’s basically a whole hour long extra episode of 9ES! We get pretty heavy into comic books talk with Keith having wrapped up 2015’s Secret Wars (just in time for Deadpool & Wolverine this summer) which leads us into the kind of free-wheeling comic book talk you know and love. Scott’s also watching Dr. Who so we talk about that too! What a treat for your ears for the price of a cup of coffee! If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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I daresay that The 9to5 Entertainment System might be the only podcast in the history of podcasts to discuss Godzilla x Kong, Roadhouse and Ingmar Bergman’s 1982 opus Fanny and Alexander in the same hour.

Let’s call talking about a massive backdoor discovered in Linux to be a special seasoning on that triumvirate of great cinema.

Who’s to say which of those three films is better? Us. We are who is to say.

The fact that Godzilla x Kong finally understands that it can make one of the kaijus the actual man character is pretty interesting. We grew up in an age of entertainment where a human viewpoint character was often present, but largely unnecessary. Who was watching Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles or Transformers for April O’Neil and Spike Witwicky? Nobody. Our heroes were the turtles and talking trucks. So too can it be with King Kong.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – we start off by talking about comics like the 2015 run of Masters of Kung Fu and the Arrowverse comic book tie in from 12 years ago and then things take on a much darker tone when Scott finds out about Ed Piskor’s passing in real time. It’s pretty heavy stuff and comes with the heaviest of trigger warnings. If you would like to show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time that would be appreciated.

If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or test 9-8-8 if you’re in North America. Support is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

A list of mental health resources in Canada can be found here.

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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We spend a lot of time in this episode talking about the fact that Scott chose to watch Madame Web instead of literally almost any other movie that has come out in the last 12 months. Why did he choose to do that to himself?

I mean, I’m not going to expressly say that we were going to make him watch Madame Web the next time his turn came up for “Best Movie Ever” but I am also not going to say that we were not.

Think about it. Scott is a busy guy. He’s a dad. He works at the hospital and has to get up at ungodly hours to do so. He’s got a movie date night with the wife and he chooses Madame Web. Scott’s got kind of a history of sometimes making questionable decisions so maybe this isn’t a complete surprise but come on now. COME ON NOW.

He should have just watched The Running Man.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time –  Scott and Jon watched the trailer the new “The Crow” movie and apparently it looks pretty bad and glossy. Glossy and polished are not words that I associate with The Crow. We also talk about Scarlet Johansson’s propensity for being robots. Maybe she’s  a robot! I think it’s important that you go back and re-read that sentence and mentally pronounce ‘robot’ correctly. Then we dive into the Battleworlds/Secret Wars Marvel run of 2015, which I’m sure we’ll return to next week because there is just so damn much of it.  Enjoy the show! If that sounds cool then show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time!

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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I feel like Scott and Jon did not truly appreciate how terrible the “Willy Wonka Experience” was for those unfortunate enough to find themselves trapped in that horrible Glasgow warehouse. From the “What’s On Glasgow” website visitors of the Wonka Experience were promised:

“Enchanting Environments: Immerse yourself in visually stunning and intricately designed settings inspired by Roald Dahl’s timeless tale. From the iconic Chocolate Room to the whimsical Inventing Room, each space promises a visual feast.

Interactive Adventures: Engage with the Wonka world like never before! Embark on the exhilarating Tunnel of Fear, reliving the iconic boat scene with a thrilling twist. Enter the Inventing Room and witness magical concoctions come to life. Explore the wonky wonders of Wonka’s TV Lab.”

And so much more!

Instead they got this:

Mashable has probably the best collection of the disastrous Wonka Experience films and videos but the part that I won’t get over is the poor guy playing Willy Wonka just staring into the void sitting in his car while children cried around him and everything fell into pure chaos.

Anyways – Keith went to Austin and talks about all the cool stuff that he saw, did and ate. He also found out what a “moon tower” was even though he’s seen Dazed and Confused about a hundred times.

We talk about a bunch of other stuff like comic books, the final death of Vice, the New York Times vs Chat GPT, Scott Pilgrim and close off the show by having Scott and Keith chuckle merrily while quoting Shoresy.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – Keith talks about riding a horse in Texas. He also talks about the fantastic American Movie (1999) which he put into Garbage Time thinking that Scott and Jon had seen it but somehow they have not (or at least they don’t remember it). Scott played My Hero Academia The Board Game and we talk about Sting’s last match at AEW Revolution. Enjoy the show! If that sounds cool then show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time!

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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Long time listeners of the show know that Jon loves himself some Cory Doctorow and you can take the word of the man himself: ‘Enshittification’ is coming for absolutely everything.

Seriously, give the article a read. If you don’t know what is enshittification is here’s the gist from Mr. Doctorow:

“So what’s enshittification and why did it catch fire? It’s my theory explaining how the internet was colonised by platforms, why all those platforms are degrading so quickly and thoroughly, why it matters and what we can do about it. We’re all living through a great enshittening, in which the services that matter to us, that we rely on, are turning into giant piles of shit. It’s frustrating. It’s demoralising. It’s even terrifying.”

Technology is rapidly breaking its promise to better our lives so we might as well all just sit down and play board games and Dungeons & Dragons. So obviously we talk about Arkham Horror 3rd Edition and the upcoming D&D Module “Vecna: Eve of Ruin.”

We wrap the whole thing in a comic book boy and talk about Deadpool and Wolverine, The Marvels and some comics that Scott and Keith are reading.

Meanwhile over on Garbage Time – Keith has finished up with True Detective: Night Country and he has thoughts and opinions! Thoughts and opinions that are so spicy they are behind a paywall! Bwahaha! We also circle back to movies that lie to the audience in the trailers and Scott watched both seasons of Shoresy so give your balls a tug. Enjoy the show! If that sounds cool then show your support and head over to Patreon and subscribe at the 9ES Deluxe tier to listen to this and all past episodes of Garbage Time!

Our intro song is a brand new jam cooked up by OKU-DA just for us, do yourself a favour and check out his SoundCloud).

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