Guilt is "I did a bad thing", and shame is "I am a bad thing".

To know Chase (Aja-Duh) is to love them.

A beautiful and hilarious human being with many gifts and talents, being one of my best friends as the most important one...(kidding).

We talked about all the things...drag, imposter syndrome, Dungeons and Dragons, substance abuse, but most importantly, being kind even if you don't fully understand someone. Because after all, we're all just doing human things making the most out of our time here, even if that experience looks different than your own.

To know young Biz, is to know a very drunk Biz. She was fun, she was crazy, but she made some poor choices.

I used to party like I was getting paid a million dollars a year to do it. And with time, the effects of this caught up to me. Through personal life struggles and self-reflection, I was able to connect the dots and figure out why I struggled with alcohol abuse for as long as I did.

Christine Elise Layer, folks. My best friend, sister (basically) and partner in questionable and impulsive decisions.

Our friendship began 11 years ago in Wilmington, NC and continues on in the great city of New York, where things have not been easy.

Dating here is...fun.

The pandemic? That was also...fun.

A rat falling on your naked body? OMG! A blast!!!

New York City has rocked us and yet we love her so very deeply.

Love is everywhere.

It surrounds us, in all that we are and all that we do.

So many of, myself included, have limited our experience with love to be "romantic love" that if we are without, we are not complete and our experience in this life is lacking.

If you are struggling with basing your happiness and worth on this one thing, listen.

There's a whole world and life out there outside of having a partner. Embrace it.

Episode #2, baby!

I had the pleasure of sitting down and having an in depth conversation with my sister, Sara, who very candidly opened up about the struggles that she has encountered leading up to and after coming out as a queer woman.

This is the first time that she and I have really gotten a chance to sit down and have a face to face talk about this aspect of her life, and I am grateful that she is allowing me to share it with you guys as well.

My instagram: @bizhaney

Podcast instagram: @abeautifulshitshowpodcast

Sara's instagram: @hayne_333

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If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, there are resources out there to help you through this. Listed below is the service I have utilized in the past.

-Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: Call or text, 24/7: 988

Welcome to the beginning of A Beautiful Shitshow!

This is an introductory episode to introduce myself and what you can expect from this podcast.

I am so excited to walk down this path and I am grateful to all that are here to join me on this ride!

I’m doing this now, because I’m terrified someone else is going to steal my idea, or at least steal the title of my show.

Its created, it’s done, the bare bones.

When will I come back? I don’t know.