Advanced planning isn’t always possible because if the decision to divorce wasn’t yours then you have had no time or opportunity to prepare. And this is true for so many of life’s challenges as these tend to land into our lives with us not being ready.   

But that’s life right? As John Lennon said - Life is what happens while you are busy making other plans.  

Today I want to talk about some of the specifics around planning around and preparing for your divorce, your healing and your new life.   

You are here, so this is happening and whether you wanted it or not. Dwelling on that you didn’t want this is counterproductive. Understandable but not helpful. If you just want me to tell you that you don’t have to do anything then you have chosen the wrong episode.  

Did you notice that I mentioned planning your divorce, your healing and your new life?  

Yes - this is not just a financial and legal road map.  It is important to focus on all areas of this journey. And while the financial and legal can feel the most daunting and also the most important - it is likely the easiest as there are so many who can help you and there are specific steps that need to be taken.  

The scary factor is the unknown results, the potential emotional chaos and hostility and our own fear of working our way through these legal and financial avenues that most of us had no understanding of leading up to this time.  

Let’s start with the financial and legal.  If you are listening to this then you likely are going through or have gone through divorce. If you are done then you might want to skip ahead to the part about planning your healing and your new life starting at 16:50.  

Legal and Financial Planning 

Plan to heal 

Plan for your new life 

The focus tends to be so heavy on the scary stuff and the negative things that happen and may happen. So few talk about the good. It’s like we are afraid to feel good or feel guilty feeling anything positive at all. Enough of that!  

This is all within your control so make it happen.  

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💃🏼 RE-LAUNCH OF RISING FREE Divorce Support Community - Join the waitlist now to be the first to know about all the launch specials and events. www.theseparationclub.com/risingfree

💃🏼 Join our 2025 retreat in Costa Rica, Feb. 22 - March 1, 2025 https://www.theseparationclub.com/costa-rica-retreat   

💃🏼 BUY THE BRAND NEW JOY JOURNAL: https://www.theseparationclub.com/the-joy-journal  

💃🏼 I would love to work with you towards your healing, self-discovery and in creating your new life. Working with a coach is a great way to discover your purpose, your path forward while gaining clarity on your beliefs and core values. I have openings in my calendar for some new clients. https://www.theseparationclub.com/coaching  

💃🏼 Also make sure to download the Free Separation Checklist: https://theseparationclub.com/separation-checklist 

💃🏼 Join the private and free Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/theseparationclub 

💃🏼 You can also find me on Instagram @elisabethjoy444 where I share daily inspirations and tips as you navigate your divorce. 

💃🏼 And the brand new Instagram account for The Joy Journal: @thejoyjournal444

There are many parts to a healing journey during and after separation and divorce. That's why I started this healing series and here is part 4. So manke sure to check out the previous 3 and the introduction to the series in episode 83.  Having high or unrealistic expectations of ourselves and others can really get in the way of the healing journey because you are essentially giving your power (and peace of mind) away to the person you expect something from. And for self-expectations - they are often tied to how we want others to react based on our actions etc.  All in all it's a messy business that can cause us a lot of pain. So let's dive into this together and as always I will have some great insights and tools for you.

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Grief after a divorce can be particularly intense and persistent, and many people find themselves stuck in their grief and ruminating on the past for several reasons.

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Last week I talked about understanding and healing our pain story. This week I am talking about the inward journey mentioned last week. It’s a journey that is crucial to our healing and self-discovery journey available to us during and after a divorce.

Healing after a divorce is a deeply personal and multifaceted journey that involves emotional, mental, and sometimes physical and spiritual practices. Here are several strategies and practices to help you turn inward and find healing:

Emotional healing and mental/cognitive healing are closely related but distinct aspects of overall psychological well-being. Understanding the differences between the two can help in addressing each area more effectively.

Emotional healing deals with processing and releasing emotional pain, while mental/cognitive healing focuses on reshaping thought patterns and improving mental clarity. Both are essential for overall psychological well-being, and integrating practices from both areas can lead to more effective and holistic healing.

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We all carry a painstory, a personal narrative shaped by our experiences of trauma, loss, and hardship. Understanding and acknowledging this painstory is crucial for healing after significant life events such as divorce, loss, or abuse. By exploring the origins and impact of our pain, we can begin to unravel the emotional knots that bind us to the past. This process of self-awareness allows us to identify patterns of suffering, recognize triggers, and gradually disempower the pain that has accumulated over time. Through compassionate self-reflection and acceptance, we can transform our painstory from a source of ongoing distress into a catalyst for growth and resilience, fostering a deeper sense of inner peace and emotional freedom.

Triggers of the Pain-Body:

Healing the Pain-Body:

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**INTRODUCTION TO SUMMER HEALING SERIES**

I am really excited to bring you this healing series. I will be talking about what holds your healing back and what can make it happen faster. It's kind of the same thing. A true lesson in perspective.

So, join me for this illuminating, healing and potentially transformational summer series. 

Today is the introduction to the series and I will be touching on the following six areas of discussion that are coming up.

I am also relaunching the Rising Free membership community. I took a hiatus and restructured to meet your needs better. I'm so excited to bring you a whole new experience and support opportunity as you navigate your separation and divorce.

The launch date is July 1st, but make sure to sign up for the waitlist (see below) so you will be the first to know about launch specials, discounts and other exciting events. 

Also make sure to check out our upcoming retreats that also provide an opportunity to do this work in person with me and other women exactly like you. Something so powerful happens when women gather to do this work.

Upcoming retreats:

Upcoming retreats: 

*JOIN THE RISING FREE WAITLIST* : https://www.theseparationclub.com/rfwaitlist

OTHER RESOURCES:

Getting through divorce without feeling like you’re losing your mind, sanity and self-respect

First - We need to get solid with our core values.

Second - If you don’t feel good then you are out of alignment with your values, beliefs or boundaries

Then we need to stop caring what others think

And finally - stop caring about being right

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Anger is a massive emotion that can take us over and make us do and say things we later regret. Most of us have also been subjected to other's angry outbursts. But anger can also be a productive and constructive emotion that can move your healing forward, empower you and help you gain confidence. Join this conversation to learn how.

You will also hear me talking about the upcoming group coaching experience that starts on May 13th. I am so excited to be running a course again as it has been almost a couple of years since the last one. This is different and has been created to embrace the new times that are present since the grip of Covid ended. 

It's called THE HEALING HEART:

https://www.theseparationclub.com/healingheart

During the 6 weeks we will:

You will walk away from this experience feeling stronger, happier and more confident as you continue to navigate your divorce and life in general.

Some might feel hesitant to put themselves out in a group, but it is exactly the group dynamic that is so powerful. Knowing you are not alone, and having the support and friendship of others who are on the same journey is incredibly powerful.

We will put the techniques you learn into practice during group coaching sessions. This is a safe place where everyone is working on their own self-love journey.

AND JUST FOR THE NEXT 48 HOURS: Enhance your experience by having a coaching session with me before we get started (May 13th) so I can help set you up for success and hit the floor running.

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Today I talk to you about the various wounds and pain we feel as a result of divorce. And more importantly I want to help you heal it and move forward. 

Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t talk about the pain because it keeps it alive, but I also know that it is alive and well in you and in order to get over it and move forward we do have to feel it. So let’s find a constructive way to deal with and understand what we are feeling so we can let go of feeling this way.

One of the traumas or challenges I have dealt with in my personal life is what has inspired this episode. It’s my own abandonment wound and I am going to start sharing more about this here with you because I believe so many of you also deal with this. And if you didn’t have it before your marriage then you likely do now. But I will say that in most cases it already existed prior to this relationship - so there’s that.

So join me for this new episode and important conversation about your healing regardless of whether it is from your divorce, family, and work relationships or any other relationships.

This episode is brought to you by a brand new course or program in The Separation Club - The Healing Heart

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