A Creator-based® Life

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Hey friend,

Let’s talk Creation.  Paul taught the Philippians, “I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.”  That’s a bold declaration of the faith that Paul had in his omnipotent Creator.  Faith is the power that creates and moves  all things.  Now, don’t abandon ship here- this is not a Sunday School lesson.  Faith is what you used to turn on your lights this morning, remember?  Faith is what you used to start your car too.  You believed the light would turn on if you flicked the switch you wouldn’t have taken the action to do it.  I know you have faith. You’ve got this.  

Let’s go back to the first step of that formula for creating your one, amazing life.  If you could feel something you really wanted to feel, what would that feeling be? I wanted to feel happy.

 I thought I had put together my one, perfect, happy life.  However; some time ago, that life had gotten so out of control, I had forgotten what happy felt like.  I walked around frustrated, angry and feeling like I was always behind.  It was the complete opposite of happy. I was miserable. 

Out of that misery, my best and finest gift began to falter. My best friend of 40 some years, this amazing physical body of mine, got sick.  She let me know she simply couldn’t go on pushing, frustrated and unhappy.  She collapsed, taking me down with her.  

Man, we really don’t know how much we take our bodies for granted until they stop working for us.  Mine had nearly stopped.  I had major alarm bells going off; adrenal surges, crazy headaches, couldn’t eat or sleep, too weak to get out of bed- you name it.  My body let me know she was not going to continue on the path of frustrated, angry, and feeling behind that I had chosen.  I had created this situation.

 In total desperation, I reached our to my trusted Creator to guide me.  I rekindled the faith I had  in Him and in myself and went back to my drawing board.  I took out my trusty journal, and began to listen, write, review and listen some more.  There’s nothing like a serious illness to give you  time to reevaluate.  It was a gift.

Do you know what I found? I was trying to live someone else’s life.  I had created a life based on a story I had seen and admired in the media. I had set off on the wrong road.  Thank goodness for the impositions of my loving Creator who took the time to derail me from that path. Through that experience, I signed up for a completely different job description and began again.

Before I could begin, I had one last very important lesson to learn.  That was the lesson of rest.  For a year, my body insisted on rest.  My mind struggled with that.  She took off all over the place, filled with reasons I should not, could not, would not, rest.  Yet, my body insisted, and ultimately I learned to embrace rest, to trust in it and to allow rest in my life.  

Rest friend.  A reset and restart is a true gift.  The beginners mind- fresh and open, expecting new ideas and joys around every corner, is a beautiful thing.  We become humble, teachable, submissive, as a child.  You know, because I’m sure you’ve been knocked down too.  I embraced the learning that came from the gift of being knocked out and started again. 

I flexed the faith I had in myself.  I figuratively flipped on the light switch.  I knew that I was capable and competent.  I felt I was designed for more.  I wanted to be and help in a bigger way. So I dug in, and from the mud and mess, I started to create a better life.

Creator-based Coaching was born.

Creation, faith, and coaching are inseparable. Creation is inherent in who we are. Coaching is recognizing, cultivating, and nurturing thoughts and actions- finding and living our inner truth.  A wise woman once said, “The meaning of life is to find our purpose.  The purpose of life is to share it.”   The more we use our faith muscle, the stronger it gets.  And just sayin’, remember that amazing cheesecake from the buffet? Yeah, that was the faith of your chef made manifest in creamy, sweet goodness,  right there.  Enjoy, my friend!

Come see us at CMHCoaching.com

To create our one awesome, amazing, perfect life, faith is the first principle of action.  In his book, TED, author David Emerald shares a delightful parable of a defeated man who is blessed to learn from Ted, his own personal, park bench sage.  

Through his parable the following formula is taught. Like the powerful sun to which this illustration alludes, this dynamic of personal choice brought light back into my life.  Harnessing my  power of  faith to create change, I learned to choose each day the role I would play in my life. You can choose your role as well.  Will you be a victim or a creator? a persecutor or a  challenger? a rescuer or a coach.?

 Let’s talk about each of these roles and their affect in our lives.

The Victim & The Creator

Who’s in charge here?

An argument with my partner, a stubbed toe, a stain on my favorite shirt before an important meeting;  circumstances can provoke a dive from the role of Creator to Victim in a heartbeat.  As a victim in my life, things are always happening to me.  (Do you hear the whine in my voice?) The traffic made me late, my partner made me mad, my boss made me feel bad.  As a victim, I am at the whim of every shift in the outside world.  

When I am in my Creator role, my viewpoint is completely different.  I was late because I chose to work out an inspiration I woke up with and left late for work.  I was angry because I felt attacked in the discussion with my partner.  I felt bad when I talked to my boss.  In hindsight, I recognize my own insecurity.  I headed down the road of self pity after He corrected me. In the role of Creator, you own your behavior.  It’s all about your reference point.

Victim or Creator, where are you at this moment?  Creators are in the driver’s seat.  They feel they can choose control of their lives even when life circumstances may appear differently.  Victims are driven much like a herd of cows. They feel they have no control over themselves, their lives or their future.  Circumstances dictate their lives. 

Remember, in every circumstance we really can choose.  It’s our right and our gift as human beings.  We are born choice makers & empowered thinkers. We are creators.  

The real beauty is, that we can shift from the Victim to the Creator role with lightning speed as we observe our current role.  The power of observation is immediate and profound.  Watching your thoughts and their shifts will immediately move you back into the driver’s seat of your life.  

Observation gives you the power to like shift from the unhappy, tantrum throwing child to the competent adult in your head.   Once you have noted and chosen to shift back to your creator role, your adult self can offer true comfort to the child within.

Allowing your “adult” self to comfort your “child” moves you back into the driver’s seat of life.   Your “driver” self has many different titles.  Some call it your inner, centered self, some your adult self. Other’s just call it ‘you’.  However you phrase it, staying in the role of the observer is a tremendous, albeit lifelong practice, with tremendous benefits.

Meditation in any of its forms can facilitate this observant awareness.  Maybe you practice with an app, a specific mantra or breathing pattern.  Maybe you train in meditation practices or take a class. But just sitting uninterrupted and quiet on a daily basis, observing your breath, your thoughts and surroundings can make an astounding change in your life. 

Awareness is a super power in the creation process.  Take time each day for quiet.  Practice meditation in some form daily, and that argument or stubbed toe will have significantly less power to move you from your creator role to the victim role day by day.

Come see us at CMHCoaching.com!

I grew up feeling a lot of shame. Not belonging and not feeling like I fit in, I sensed that I was different.  I felt like I needed to hide and not be my true self.  

Always asking, “What is it that will make me lovable and valuable enough to feel like I belong?” I was always seeking for the next great thing so I could change myself. I was constantly looking and never finding the truth. Seeking and comparing have been my inner battle.

Does any of this ring true to you?

 It seems to be part of being human. Each individual has their own trials.  We are different by design.  We are not created to be the same- only to be unified in our differences.  Becoming one has to begin with me- building a relationship with my Creator and myself.

It’s a foundational responsibility to love myself.  I can’t love my neighbor until I can love myself.

And that, my friend, is what we are working on all month long- compassion.

Remembering that compassion is a friendly, merciful, kind and giving love, I ask- how are you doing with giving that kind of love to yourself?

You are infinitely powerful, and as delicate and seemingly impossible as it may seem to express self-love, you have within you light and truth, all the power you need to grow and create.  

You can do it! Here are a few tips:

Before you open your eyes in the morning upon waking, just as you come back into consciousness, give thanks to your Creator and love to yourself.  My friend Jenn begins each waking day by speaking aloud to herself, “Good morning, Jennifer, I love you.”

That being a little hard for me to believe first thing in the morning, I begin my day in thanks and with a smile.  Smiling as I wake makes all the difference.

Be all that you are designed to be- No more. No less.

Because that’s perfect.

Who you are is good enough.

Who you are is a beautiful, loving human being.

Uniquely You.  Nobody does it better.

Remind yourself of that daily.

All my love,

Beth

Come see us at CMHCoaching.com!

 “Perfect” 

In the tradition of the book Creator-based® Coaching: Creating Your One Awesome, Amazing, Perfect Life, this month’s theme is Perfect, as in whole and complete, I ask, 

“Are you a perfectionist?” Synonyms for perfectionist could be ‘purist, idealist, traditionalist, insistent person, precisionist, never satisfied with the average life, born to shine’. They can also be ‘quibbler, nitpicker, fanatic, picky, pushy, too big for her britches, she thinks she’s all that…’

I discovered an amazing book by Katherine Morgan Schafler entitled The Perfectionists Guide to Losing Control.  She mentions that being branded a perfectionist with a negative connotation seems to be uniquely feminine. Women often refer to themselves as ‘recovering perfectionists.’    Have you ever heard Steve Jobs, Gordon Ramsey, or other male leaders criticized for excellence or perfection? President Obama was lauded for his detail and precision in dress and in his work.  Why does that happen to us as women?  Are we praised for pickiness and drive to excel?  Can you think of women who are celebrated perfectionists? Have you ever felt pushback for your drive, power, and assertion of your precious gift?  Did you know that not everyone has that drive to pursue and create meaning?

Some gifts feel like a burden until you understand how they serve you.  All month long we will be talking about how to embrace and create with your inner gift of striving for perfection.  That perfectionist part of you may believe that she is wrong or in trouble for being who she is.  We will help you work with the truth and beauty of perfection.  Perfection is a super power- embrace it and let’s create something great together!

Come see us at CMHCoaching.com!

This morning, I had the great fortune of an early phone call with two other women of faith. I sat in my garden just at sunrise, hearing the birds' morning song and almost seeing the leaves opening on our apple tree. A fluorescent cardinal was among the wrens on the branches, and somewhere in the distance, a woodpecker was digging out his breakfast.

I gazed out over the 10 acres that, yes, are ours and saw the pavilion where we have had so many lovely family dinners and joyful times with children and friends.   The sun was warm on my back, the air cool on my face, and I felt truly and abundantly blessed. This is joy.

Then the thought came.

Would my 20-year-old self even believe that my being here, right now, was even possible?  Would she believe I could be actively engaged in building a business, doing what I love, with people I love? That there was still time to sit quietly and write? 

If she were living in the Creator-based® Way, she might…but no, my 20-year-old self, living as a victim of her circumstance, would not!

Mired in the everyday demands of small children, saving for a house, and learning, learning, learning every day how to adult, she would never have considered that we would be where we are today, surrounded by women of wisdom and faith, watching the apple tree I always wanted in childhood begin to bear fruit, on acreage that is truly a gift.  

She couldn’t even conceive the level of peace and strength that had come from determination and good fortune, but it was there. 

We can create these beautiful things in our own lives.  It requires focus, faith and forever recalculating in the 50/50 of life.  As we stay in the role of an active creator, and choose to opt out of victimhood, we gain strength and perspective.  Graced by Grit and Guts, we will create the life we long for.  

You may not be 20 years old, but you are, at this moment, the youngest you will ever be. 

As the youngest you that will ever be, 

What is there for you that you are not seeing?

What would your future self, be she 40, 50, 60, or 90, want you to know today?

If I could reach back and tell my younger self one thing (funny, but it’s the same thing my Creator still tells me regularly,) it would be,

 “It all works out.  Simply do what is right, slow down, and stop judging yourself.  Enjoy!”

Take time to smell the flowers. Take pictures, write about it, savor the ice cream—it’s there to love because you are infinitely loved.  Create the life you always dreamed of.

This week, tap into your future self and see what wisdom she has for you.  Listen and Do it!

Come see us at CMHCoaching.com!

The basic characteristics of grit are determination, persistence, resilience, excellence instead of perfection, and compassion. We’ve talked a little about determination  Remember, standing up to that thing in your life that is so hard that it feels like it might crush you?  And you have it.  I know you have faced up to hard things in the past.

This week let's talk about persistence and its role in your life.  Persistence is pretty simple.  It’s just ‘keeping on keeping on,’ right?  But what makes us persist as wise, modern women? Why not just pop some popcorn and watch Netflix or scroll reels on Insta or TikTok?

Remember, the wise, modern woman has been around long enough to know stuff.  She has had life experiences that have taught her an element of wisdom.  She may even have been gifted to discover and hold her ‘why’.  In short- she has perspective.

Persistence is born of perspective and understanding. 

Think of the great inventors, creators, world leaders, and great teachers.  

They didn’t have anything more than you do.  That is, as long as you have your ‘why.’  

What’s your why in life? Why do you persist in the face of adversity?  What keeps you off the couch and getting up to work?

Often, it's someone you love.  

It can also be something you love so much that you feel called to do it.  

It can be a principle you feel you must defend. 

Your why is your core motivator.   Your Why = Persistence. 

Here are a few questions to help you consider your why this week.  Write your answers down and put them somewhere you will see them.  I like to use my phone background for this, but dry-erase marker on a mirror works too, or a post-it..

Your answers to these questions will help you define what really matters to you. 

 Your ‘why’ will propel you to greater life confidence and contentment.  

Your ‘why’ may also be part of some of your worst days.  

That’s as it should be. Life is a 50/50 proposition.  

When you persist through adversity, it’s like weight lifting- you build muscle. 

With strong persistence muscles and 50/50 understanding, 

you will accomplish your dream.

Seriously! You will.

I can and I will.

You can too!

All my love,

Beth

Wise, modern women simply go to work.  Don’t you do that every day? See- I told you, you are great. 

Come see us at CMHCoaching.com

It has been said that where God closes a door, he opens a window.  However, I prefer the bigger, better imagery of “Where God closes a window, He opens a door.”  That door opening is sometimes 3-4 times larger than the window, and goodness, with the door open, the light just floods in.  We only need to be present to see and accept it. (And choose to open the door.)

That thing you were looking for that didn’t happen? It’s just small potatoes compared to what is coming for you next.  In the minutia of days, we can lose sight of the grand orchestrations of Heaven.  When you struggle, my friend, take a deep breath and then, take the long view.

Use your eternal eyeglasses.  When I used to teach high schoolers, I would place my middle and ring fingers on the hinge of my jaw with palms up towards the ceiling.  Then, I would bring my palms forward against my cheeks as my upside-down hands folded upward to support the ‘glasses’ created by my circled thumb and index finger.  It never failed to get their attention and open the discussion for eternal eyeglasses.  You can’t help but notice when someone is wearing the lenses of perspective.

Eternal eyeglasses allow us to see past the present moment, past this decade, and way off into the distant future.  They focus us on the great things coming as we walk the mucky path of the present.  Seeing that distant view creates hope and new energy in our souls.  Try it- what will the lesson of today do for you 20 years from now?  Put the glasses on!

Trust by remembering the help you received in the past- the way you have been comforted and looked after.  You are so loved!

Let the energy of perspective and trust propel you into your grandly orchestrated future.

Just keep swimming and don’t give up-

You’ve got this.

All my love,

Beth 

Come See us at CMHCoaching.com

Last month, we talked about ‘Inspired Goals,’ or goals that feel immediate, narrow, strong, precise, inspired, experienced, and declared.  This month, we continue by talking about self-care in that same inspired way.  Have you forgotten your goals?  That’s okay- I have hope- it is, after all, hope month.

 “For it is only by forgetting that we ever really drop the thread of time and approach the experience of living in the present moment, so elusive in ordinary hours.” 

― Michael Pollan, The Botany of Desire : A Plant'S-Eye View of the World

Michael Pollan introduces the gift of forgetting.  He assuages that by forgetting, we keep ourselves from overwhelm, thereby being more effective at our actual life purpose and mission.  Too much forgetting is simply too much, but a little is a built-in perk for beating overwhelm and stress if we will let it. 

So, have you forgotten your goals? That’s to be expected.  It’s fine. 

Introducing: Self-care, Creator-based® style; ‘Do less and expect more.’

This is an approach in which you maintain your status as a creator- not a victim.  So often, I can feel like a victim in my self-care- I got interrupted and didn’t finish, needed more sleep and didn’t get up, got too busy and didn’t do it.  Life was too hard to take care of myself.

 The first step out of the victim role is to recognize that you are the creator of your life experience and that you have within you light and truth-  all the power you need to grow and progress.  Ask yourself, “What do I want? What do I want to feel?”

From this foundation of power, you are ready to talk about a few points in creating a tailor-made self-care program for yourself.  (And it will bless the lives of others)

Your program will need 

Step One: 

What is something you keep trying to do for yourself but is challenging enough that it never seems to happen? 

Make a list of those things.  For me, it’s pretty long.  It sometimes includes meditation, vacation, exercise, reading, visiting with friends, pedicures, etc.;  write down all the self-care things you would like to do (include that Hawaii Trip) and have done in the past.  Permission to dream.

Step Two: Consider the items on your list and what you might do to build some comfort measures for yourself.  I don’t much like going to the dentist, so I’m great at putting it off.  One of the comfort measures I have built in is a Target trip immediately after my dental visit.  It’s a way for me to look forward to my self-care.  Other comfort measures could include a friend, an affirmation, or a little fun afterward. 

Step Three: create enough support to keep yourself going when these things get hard things.  Declare your intention to someone.  Of course, a coach is an incredible support.  I do personal sessions myself, and we also have our community at the 50/50 Girl Club, Group Coaching in Coach & Clear Sessions and in our Guided Mastermind Groups.  You might hire a professional coach, do something online, or enlist a partner or good friend to support you.  

So, for this week:

Here’s to creating hope, my friend!

All my love,

Beth

Come see us at CMHCoaching.com

What is the opposite of Hope? 

We all know what FOMO is, and even though it's no longer hip to call it that, we’re talking about it.  FOMO is a pressure-driven force that keeps us in scarcity, and we worry that we might miss something important.  It feels like fear.  That’s because it really is. FOMO is a universal and very real thing, especially when we seek to fit into society, our group of friends, and our workplace.  It’s ubiquitous in teens and young adults and breeds anxiety and pressure in young lives.

FOMO is a little different for adults raising children. We still want to be in the know, but there is an added dimension when we have parental stewardship to fulfill. Whether it’s toddlers or grandchildren, the 

Fear of Missing Opportunities can be paralyzing.  

Should my child do gymnastics or soccer? What about the value of music lessons and time with friends? There’s an after-school program in robotics…. And it continues all the way from preschool to retirement.  There’s a class I want to take; should I spend the time in the community? What about the friend I haven’t seen in a while? 

Choices, blessedly, abound.  

But sometimes, it is downright overwhelming.  

Fear of missing an opportunity can be incapacitating.

There is an important element missing in FOMO.  It’s trust.  

Trust that ‘What is for you will not pass you by.’ 

Trust that your Creator has orchestrated your life and the lives of others for good.

Trust that it all works out.  He is the Creator, after all. 

 We can’t frustrate his plans, only our own.

 There is a real element of trust there…can you trust enough to say no?

There are many, many faces of Fear of Missing Opportunities: fear of disappointing others… fear of overstepping…. fear of regret…fear of making the wrong choice…fear of ruining your own life,  fear of not living up to your potential- and that inner critic taunting you, “Too bad, you missed it.”

It’s all just plain fear of missing “it,”….. and what’s crazy is most often, 

the most important things are missed by being afraid, causing us to feel off base and distracted.

Our beautiful friend Jennifer Dereus often comforts us with the quote, 

“Fear and faith both ask me to believe in something I cannot see. 

 I choose faith.”

Anything fear-based does not come from our Creator.

What would a creator-based® belief be?

And you are- so loved.

Let’s choose a week of trust!

:) All my love

Beth

Join us at CMHCoaching.com

What is the opposite of Hope? 

We all know what FOMO is, and even though it's no longer hip to call it that, we’re talking about it.  FOMO is a pressure-driven force that keeps us in scarcity, and we worry that we might miss something important.  It feels like fear.  That’s because it really is. FOMO is a universal and very real thing, especially when we seek to fit into society, our group of friends, and our workplace.  It’s ubiquitous in teens and young adults and breeds anxiety and pressure in young lives.

FOMO is a little different for adults raising children. We still want to be in the know, but there is an added dimension when we have parental stewardship to fulfill. Whether it’s toddlers or grandchildren, the 

Fear of Missing Opportunities can be paralyzing.  

Should my child do gymnastics or soccer? What about the value of music lessons and time with friends? There’s an after-school program in robotics…. And it continues all the way from preschool to retirement.  There’s a class I want to take; should I spend the time in the community? What about the friend I haven’t seen in a while? 

Choices, blessedly, abound.  

But sometimes, it is downright overwhelming.  

Fear of missing an opportunity can be incapacitating.

There is an important element missing in FOMO.  It’s trust.  

Trust that ‘What is for you will not pass you by.’ 

Trust that your Creator has orchestrated your life and the lives of others for good.

Trust that it all works out.  He is the Creator, after all. 

 We can’t frustrate his plans, only our own.

 There is a real element of trust there…can you trust enough to say no?

There are many, many faces of Fear of Missing Opportunities: fear of disappointing others… fear of overstepping…. fear of regret…fear of making the wrong choice…fear of ruining your own life,  fear of not living up to your potential- and that inner critic taunting you, “Too bad, you missed it.”

It’s all just plain fear of missing “it,”….. and what’s crazy is most often, 

the most important things are missed by being afraid, causing us to feel off base and distracted.

Our beautiful friend Jennifer Dereus often comforts us with the quote, 

“Fear and faith both ask me to believe in something I cannot see. 

 I choose faith.”

Anything fear-based does not come from our Creator.

What would a creator-based® belief be?

And you are- so loved.

Let’s choose a week of trust!

:) All my love

Beth