A Fresh Story

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 9

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

As we learned throughout producing this season, miscarriage is incredibly common, and yet we’re not talking about it. So, we’re going to talk about it. We talked to four women with vastly different miscarriage stories about their experience with pregnancy loss, and how it impacted the way they moved forward through life.

We talked to teacher Alexa about miscarrying during the pandemic lockdown with other children at home. We chatted with Amanda, a writer and interior design expert, about advocating for her own mental and physical health during her loss. Kelly shared her experience of miscarriage and how she grieved the loss of a child she so badly wanted. And, we talked to Jane about how she used music to heal her heart after multiple miscarriages.

If you have experienced miscarriage, or are currently experiencing miscarriage, we are holding we close, and we love you. We hope these women help you feel less alone.

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 8

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

It’s no surprise that we’re all about searching out support from Experts when people are experiencing hard life moments, so we turned to the Experts to chat about miscarriage - and why we don’t talk about miscarriage. We asked all of the Experts we talked to the same two questions: how common is miscarriage, and if it is so common, why are we not talking about it more? Take a listen to their words and why they think we’re not talking about miscarriage, even though it is so common.

We talked to:

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 7

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

Laura Malcolm is an innovator, and inventor, a founder, and a mother. Laura is the founder and CEO of Give InKind, which is a incredibly necessary platform to help normalize support for hard life moments (and good ones, too!), by eliminating the overwhelm of supporters coming together to help people through these moments. As you can imagine, we’re huge fans of Give InKind, so when the chance to talk to Laura came up for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I jumped at it. You see, Laura is a loss mom, her daughter Layla was stillborn on November 11th, 2013. And, it was Layla’s death that ultimately became the impetus for Laura and her husband to found Give InKind.

Laura and I talked about why community support is incredibly in tragedy, what it’s like to leave the hospital without your baby, how she honors Layla’s life and spends time with her these days, and the power of Give InKind to make sure no one feels alone during tragedy. I really appreciated Laura’s perspective on grief and life and honoring Layla.

Laura, thank you for using your experience with loss to make sure others don’t feel alone. And, thank you for sharing Layla with us. We will remember her always. You can read more about Layla in Laura’s own words here.

You can learn more about Laura and Give InKind on their platform, Instagram, Twitter, and Facebook.

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 6

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

Ashley Spivey is like the older sister that you always wanted, and never know how much you needed, until you meet her, and you wonder how you ever survived without her. Ashley is one of those rare gem humans who is an actual angel on earth. She spends her time on the internet helping people, educating people, and making sure everyone feels supported, heard, and validated. I’ve been following Ashley for years, as she has wonderful book recommendations, and I remember how excited I was for her when she announced she was pregnant. And then, months later, Ashley shared that her son CJ had been stillborn on November 26th, 2020. My heart dropped. In true form, Ashley shared her experience of losing CJ with honesty, authenticity, and reverence for her grief and unconditional love for her son.

When I think of Ashley, I think of the quote, “maybe you’ve been assigned this mountain to show others it can be moved,” and Ashley has dedicated her life to honoring CJ by changing the world in major ways, including working on bills to change policy for bereavement leave for parents, and education support on stillbirth. I talked to Ashley about leaving the hospital without her son, the impact of social media on processing CJ’s death, pregnancy after loss, and how she connects with CJ every day.

I’m so proud of Ashley for using her voice to honor CJ and to support so many people. It’s an honor to know Ashley and hold space for CJ’s story. This conversation will change you, as it has changed us.

Ashley, thank you for sharing CJ with us. We will remember him always.

You can learn more about Ashley on Instagram.

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 5

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

Jena Graham is an academic coordinator for special education programs. She’s a mother, and a wife. And, to me, Jena is the cool older girl on my dorm freshman year of college. That’s where I met Jena, 20 years ago. When I found myself feeling lost and confused those first few weeks of school, Jena, with her cool and collected confidence, and her roomate, Leanna, took me under their wing. Jena was a year older than me, and she had an attitude about her I admired. She didn’t care what people thought of her, she just did her thing and everyone else could either get on board, or get out of the way. Jena and I had many sociology classes together, and over the next 3 years, became great friends. Jena was like the older sister I never had, and I adored her.

As life continued on, and Facebook let me know, that Jena married a man named Geoff, she had a son, named Max. And then, in January of 2020, she had a son named Charlie. Charlie was born January 8th, 2020, and passed away 3 days later. My heart simply broke for Jena, and I thought of her and Charlie often.

I had been posting on social media about producing this series about infant loss, and Jena reached out to thank me for using our platform to share these stories. I asked if she would like to come talk about Charlie, and she did. I’m in awe of Jena’s strength, her honesty, and her desire to keep talking about the hard stuff so that other people don’t feel alone. We talked about Charlie’s life, how he inspires her, and her advice for anyone experiencing infant loss is profound, to say the least.

Jena, thank you for sharing Charlie with us. We will remember him always.

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 4

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

Nikki Dinki is a chef, author, mom, TV Host, and comedy writer. I was first introduced to Nikki when she was on Food Network Star in 2013. She seemed so lovely, relatable, and sweet (spoiler alert: she is). She seemed like someone I’d be friends with. I was pregnant with my first son at the time I watched her on Food Network Star, and so when she announced that she too was pregnant on the season 9 finale, I was so excited for her. My son was born in August, and in the flurry of new parenthood, I forgot that Nikki’s child was also due. Months went by, and I started to worry, where was Nikki? Where was the baby?

And, then I saw this post on her website. Willa had been stillborn, on her due date, November 25th, 2013. I will never forget reading about the Lemonade Cheesecakes for Willa, and I never forgot Nikki or Willa. My heart broke for her, and I thought often of her and Willa.

In the years since, Nikki and I bopped around the same media circles and when it came time to produce this series, I knew I had to talk to Nikki. I wanted to know more about her journey after loss, and of course, about sweet Willa. Almost 10 years later, Nikki describes every moment so honestly, and with such grace and reverence for her daughter. We talked about the quiet that comes with a stillbirth, and how she kept going after Willa’s passing, with work – and the incredible importance of mementos. We chatted about how she feels so connected to her daughter and how Willa is with them every day. Nikki’s courage, humor, and love for her daughter is palpable, and I was so grateful to get to spend the time with her and Willa.

You can read some of Nikki’s recipes and stories here:

Nikki, thank you for sharing Willa with us all. We will remember her always.

You can find Nikki on Twitter and Instagram, TikTok, and her website. Check out her newest cookbook, More Veggies Please!

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 3

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

Rae Hoffman Jager is a poet and writer, yoga teacher, former doula, and currently, in nursing school. I first met Rae on Twitter, actually, it was this tweet, the one about birthing a dead baby, which came across my Twitter feed, and made me stop in my tracks. Rae and I break down the tweet - her word choice, how it supported her, and the backlash, and why she even Tweeted during the delivery of her son in the first place.

Rae’s son Fox was stillborn on Thanksgiving Day, 2021. Rae walks us through the journey of finding out he had passed during a routine visit, and what laboring and delivering a dead baby was like. Rae discusses how her Judaism was intertwined with the moment she met her son, and what it’s really like to hold your dead baby. We talked about the support she received in the days after, what pregnancy after loss is like, and how she and her family connect and spend time with Fox today.

Rae is honest, brave, raw, and fiercely determined to move through life while honoring Fox’s life every step of the way. His death was the impetus for a major career shift, and we’re so proud of her determination.

You can read some of Rae’s work here:

Rae, thank you for sharing Fox with us all. We will remember him always.

You can find Rae on Twitter and Instagram, and her website.

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 2

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you as they have changed us.

Anna Burgess Yang is a freelance content marketer and journalist in the suburbs of Chicago. I met Anna on Twitter, and she was a guest on the first season of A Fresh Story. When I was editing the podcast episode she was originally on, I noticed that she left out a huge part of her story on the interview: her two daughters that had passed away. I reached out and asked if she would someday want to come back on the show to talk about being a loss mom, and how to support people going through child loss. So, she’s back. And she’s sharing her raw, honest, and beautiful story of her daughters, Nelle Claudia Dej (born 09/04/2015) and Iris Madeline Hnub (born 02/13/2016).

Anna discusses the moments she found out that there was no heartbeats, how she processed her grief in the early days, and the support she received and sought out that helped her keep going. We talked about the things people said to her that hurt her feelings, and the things people did to help her feel loved and seen. And, we talked a lot about how she honors Nelle and Iris every day, in big and small ways.

I was appreciative of Anna’s honesty in discussing her pregnancy after loss, and why having a rainbow baby can bring up so many emotions you wouldn’t often consider. I’m grateful for Anna’s advocacy work to support other loss parents, and most of all, for her tender and honest musings about her daughters, her grief, and her relationship to loss.

You can read Nelle’s birth story here, and Iris’ birth story here.

Anna, thank you for sharing your sweet girls with us all. We will remember them always.

Here are some of the resources Anna mentioned in the episode:

Some books Anna recommends:

You can find Anna on LinkedIn and Instagram. You can read more of her beautiful writing on Musings Out Loud by Anna Burgess Yang.

A Fresh Story, season 4, episode 1

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, and we’re honored to hold space for these profound stories. These stories may be of grief, but they are also of hope, resilience, and most of all, unconditional love. As a reminder, be gentle with your heart, and if you are not able to listen to this episode at the moment, we understand and we are holding you close. We know these conversations will change you, as they have changed us.

Alex Mooney is an award-winning photographer in St. Louis, Missouri. I met Alex ten years ago on Instagram, and I had no idea how much she would change my life. Alex and I have been through a lot together; I learned so much from Alex watching her walk through Hell when she lost her child. Clark William Mooney died on October 29th, 2018.

When we decided to produce this series, I turned to Alex for guidance, as not only is she a photographer, but she is a birth photographer – and she photographs death, too.

I talked to Alex about losing Clark, and what it was like to leave the hospital without her child, how she and her family continue to honor Clark’s life, and how Clark’s death was the impetus for a major career shift in her life. We chatted about the importance of bereavement photography, and how Clark’s legacy is supporting so many families in spending precious time with their babies.

You can learn more about Clark in Alex’s own writing, and Captures for Clark, as well.

You can read more about Clark and Alex on her website and Instagram.

Olivia and Jenny share a quick update on their lives, the future of the podcast, and what you'll be hearing in October.