A Sassy Little Podcast with Sandra Ann Miller a.k.a. The Happyist

Buck Angel is transsexual (his preferred term). Born biologically female, Buck transitioned in the 1990s and was basically a guinea pig, as there wasn't much information for a female to male transition. We discuss the devastating statistics of violence, murder and suicide in the transgender and gender non-conforming community, the importance of opening up the conversation, Buck's past lives, not agreeing with one's community, semantics, missing memos, not being forced, being the first, having a fighting instinct, making mistakes, activism, co-existing, losing the middle ground, finding patience, communication and listening skills, the slow path to equality, TERFs, socialization, fear, bee's and honey, educating, understanding the world you're living in now and the limitations of those around you, building bridges, taking a chill pill, finding a compromise, transitioning without the internet, emotional labor, listening to elders, the value of knowledge, the psychic wounds of the AIDS crisis, what we take for granted came at a cost to someone else, swinging pendulums, merging in traffic, word math, compassion, politicians, legislating people. bathroom laws, safe spaces, being medical experiments, hormones, becoming a monetized community, curiosity is your problem.

Human Rights Campaign statistics

List of documentaries and movies about the AIDS crisis:

How to Survive a Plague

Sliverlake Life: The View from Here

Common Threads: Stories from the Quilt

We Were Here

United in Anger: A History of Act Up

And the Band Played On

The Normal Heart

Angels in America

Documentaries about the Transgender Community

The Death and Life of Martha P. Johnson

Disclosure

The Trans List

Passing

Beautiful Darling

Paris is Burning

Mr. Angel (this one's about Buck)

Episode recorded on 03/12/21

Episode released on 04/14/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

While the connotation may be that a prenuptial  agreement is negative, a sign of greed or a set-up for failure, they are no different than getting auto insurance for your car. You don't plan on having an accident, but you certainly want to be covered in case you do. Torrance, California-based attorney, Sandy Roxas, gives us her insight on: why pre-nups are important to have even when money and real property aren't involved, how separate property (including your business or intellectual property) becomes community property once married, thinking forward, having the tough conversations, talking finances (debt becomes community property, too, without a pre-nup), separate accounts don't protect you, keeping earnings separate and having a joint account, knowing what your partner's finances are (even if you have to run a credit report), stay-at-home parenting, amending a pre-nup or doing a post-nup, taking out the romance, co-habitation agreements (for those not getting married), having a pre-nup tends to make divorce and co-parenting easier, hiding things from your partner, obligations, a new spouse's income can affect child support and/or alimony without a pre-nup and keeping earnings separate, financial transparency is important, choosing the right spouse, entrepreneurial debt, the give and take, balanced instead of equal, financial abuse, having access, red flags, The Joy Luck Club, not being stuck, bad math, being able to walk away, being in a relationship because you want to be, not because you have to be, independence is a good thing, fertility and embryos, and please do the pre-nup sooner than later (don't force it in right before the wedding).

You can reach Sandy Roxas at https://roxaslaw.com/

Episode recorded on 02/27/21

Episode released on 04/07/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

Dr. Shauna Moore Reynolds shares her professional and personal insight into Intimate Partner Violence, discussing how we can be advocates, ask questions to open the door to discussion, there are no predetermining factors that make you more likely to experience IPV, the shame on if, having the courage to leave, understanding it takes an average of 10 attempts to leave, not knowing what goes on behind closed doors, pedestals and perceived notions, heroes, making it look good on the outside, the skills of a manipulator, why women might stay, financial control, being broken, privileged perspective, the shame belongs to the abuser, you can't love somebody better, co-dependence, bad boy attraction, honeymoon stage as the hook, chasing the beginning/that first high, it takes two to make it work, an abuser's past isn't a get-out-of-jail-free card, don't make excuses for other's behavior, recognizing abuse, going back, the cycle of abuse, someone who doesn't socialize well, denoting subtle abuse as personality quirks, more training needed for authorities, patience with the abused (and patience is not the same as co-dependence), not limiting the amount of times you're willing to help, abuse is not addiction (tough love isn't needed), the octopus that has them, stop stigmatizing things that are out of your control, relationships are work not pain, getting help to heal, having the conversation with kids about what's healthy and what's abuse, having a trusted person, being better listeners (and better believers), what to do when you're ready to leave.

Resources for those in need:

Domestic Violence Support: https://www.thehotline.org/

What to do when you're ready to leave: https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/escaping-violence/when-it-s-time-to-go-part-i

Escape checklist: https://www.mottchildren.org/health-library/te7754

Advice on what to do/take when you're leaving: https://www.boredpanda.com/leaving-abusive-partner-relationship-advice/

Episode recorded on 02/26/21

Episode released on 03/31/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

Dr. Nicole Moshfegh knows insomnia. She talks to us about how insomnia works, "helpful behavior" that causes insomnia to persist, recipes for disaster, creativity and insomnia, exercise and sleep drive, jittery zombies, fight or flight, acknowledging thoughts, catastrophe spirals, good habits, self care, relaxation, yoga, calming down, turning off, alcohol's effect, sleep stages, cultivating good sleep habits, consistent wake-up times, circadian rhythm, winding down before bedtime, getting enough activity for sleep drive, avoiding napping, reduce anxiety, challenge thinking around sleep, journaling, get out of bed if you're not sleeping, don't work/eat/sleep/watch TV/be on a screen in bed, leave your phone in another room, burning the candle at both ends, sleep deprivation, myth of 8 hours, quality over quantity, FOMO, parenting your inner child.

You can reach Dr. Nicole Moshfegh at https://drnicolemoshfegh.com/

Her book is available here: https://bookshop.org/a/11990/9781641527910

Episode recorded on 02/20/21

Episode released on 03/24/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

Dr. Rebecca Dunsmoor-Su is a board certified OBGYN, a certified menopause practitioner, the Medical Director of Menopause at Swedish Medical Center in Seattle, and the Chief Medical Officer at Gennev. Clearly, she knows her menopause. In this episode, we talk about: Menopause being taboo, women avoiding the subject, how it's normal and natural, it's not doomsday, perimenopause symptoms (sleep problems, mood changes, anxiety and/or depression); how menopause is, for many, a happier, healthier, positive time, managing symptoms, how we all experience it differently, the average age of menopause is 52, and perimenopause happens about 2-3 years before; the fun of flooding, varying hormone levels, hormone replacement therapy, evidence-based wisdom, no need for hormone testing,  choosing FDA regulated hormones, avoiding compounded medication, risks, how "bio-identical" is a marketing term, breast cancer, cardiovascular risk, brain tattoos, ESTROGEN MATTERS (book; see line below), misogyny, Dr. Jen Gunter, the safer window, high-dose longevity clinics, Big Pharma, charlatans, John Oliver, quality control, herbal remedies, placebo effect, Gennev, no one pathway for all women, mindfulness and stress reduction, cortisol, a plant-based diet, colorful plates, choosing white wine over red, exercise (30 mins x 5 days/week), vaginal estrogen, North American Menopause Society, accountability, lifestyle as the pillar of health, community, small balls, doctor shopping.

You can find Dr. Rebecca on Twitter and Clubhouse @DrRebeccaDSu and at Gennev.com

Mentioned in this episode:

Gennev https://gennev.com/

Estrogen Matters https://estrogenmatters.com/

North American Menopause Society https://www.menopause.org/

John Oliver on Compounding Pharmacies  

Episode recorded on 02/12/21

Episode released on 03/17/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

What's all the hubbub about when it comes to Mercury Retrograde? Welp, the 2020 election happened during MR and so did the second impeachment. In this episode, my favorite astrologer talks about: Ancient Egypt; a f*cked up ephemeris; the divorce of astrology and astronomy; as above, so below; the wanderers; Sirius; certain predictable events; being regulated by the Moon; astrology doesn't require faith; solar wind; Founding Fathers, High Masons and Illuminati; going back to move forward; commerce, trade and communication; the Rocky Horoscope; oysters; a disturbance in The Force; red flags; self-respect; chaos; ACOA; anxious thinking; Gandhi; Old Testament; calm the F down; the red tent and Moon lodge; taking care of ourselves; if you can't have fun, start a fight; psychic residue; the voice in your head; being useful; poop thoughts; gremlins; a chance to be mindful; happiness is an inside job; functional archetypes; New Age hogwash; vertical drop; skin cars; reorganizing the interior; curiosity; a series of frustrations; a lesson in being patient; being well-rested; Saturn's Day; Loki and the Trickster; inventing the Devil;  sh*tty perceptions; let's go deep or leave me alone; Doors of Perception; Socrates; Merrill Markoe; did you have a happy childhood or are you funny; Kurt Vonnegut; made to break; leaving a trail; lost control; homework; your own growth process; radical awakening; arms, hands and fingers; stalling; things to avoid; sign of the knees; old wives' tales; junk in the trunk; paying attention; being compassionate.

You can find Coral on her website: https://coralcadman.com/

Episode recorded on 02/20/21

Episode released on 03/10/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

Your Joyologist and host of the Claim It! podcast, Tricia Huffman, talks with us about struggling with feeling like we can have joy now, her favorite word, celebrating the small stuff (get a cookie!), knowing it's not permanent, like lessons, it is what it is, making things work, how she became a joyologist, living with pain, the desire to be truly heard and seen, retiring the word "should" and replacing it with "want", seeing that everything is "my" choice, doing the dishes, approaching things from a place of joy, removing the guilt from guilty pleasures, stop stealing joy from ourselves, making yourself feel joy, daily wins and joys, toxic positivity, remembering to keep going, acknowledging yourself, fibromyalgia, F the Shoulds. Do the Wants.

You can find Tricia at yourjoyologist.com and Twitter, Instagram and Facebook @yourjoyologsit. Her books F THE SHOULDS. DO THE WANTS. will be out in April 2022. 

Episode recorded on 02/05/21

Episode released on 03/03/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

Dr. Stephanie Sarkis, author of GASLIGHTING: Recognize Manipulative and Emotionally Abusive People—And Break Free, is back (also check out ep 18 on Apologizing) to talk about gaslighting and: breaking down the difference between manipulation, lying and gaslighting, emotional abuse, agreeing to reality, "hoovering", "flying monkeys", isolation, mean girls, controlling the narrative, Gaslight (the movie), a broken nation, normalizing gaslighting, QAnon, failing to learn history, none of us are immune to gaslighting, love bombing, trust, getting educated, punishment, damage control, narcissists and sociopaths, ammunition, Dirty John, cycle of abuse, looking good in public, go to the source, splitting, power and control, toxic positivity, future faking, compinsult, importance of talking to a mental health professional, patterns and norms, healthy boundaries, attachment styles, balanced relationships, healthy discourse, you don't have to reconcile, practice self-compassion, not being responsible for other people's stuff, the trauma of 2020.

Mentioned in the episode:

Robert Cialdini

Dr. Sarkis' book recommendations

Episode recorded on 12/31/20

Episode released on 02/24/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

Melissa Joy Manning is an ethically- and eco-minded jewelry designer and CFDA member, and a friend of mine. She founded the CFDA Sustainability Committee and uses 100% recycled precious metals in her handmade designs, famous for her signature style and one-of-a-kind creations. We talk about: knowing each other for 20 years, being in business for nearly 25 years, over-achieving parents, art as a career, silversmithing in Mexico, passion, living authentically, getting fired, vocational counseling, Renaissance Entrepreneurship Center, knowing how to run a business, being a hero, positioning, being around for three years, pre-Etsy/direct-to-consumer, building a brand, emulating and partnering, learning your voice, bringing a brand to market, turning, churning and burning, misconceptions, being self-funded, reinvesting, being green-certified, ethics, what you can do with what you love, social component, leading by example, sustainability and success, danger of overnight success, InStyle/Oprah effect, room for everyone, originators, strategy, false promise, vicious cycles, collaboration, generosity, mentoring, feeling lucky, cycle of 3, 5, 7, 10, vision plans, watching the market, racing backwards, finding inspiration, business can be a solution, the best design solves problems, morals and ethics, Bezos could do better, choices, creating community, potty mouths, wage disparity, the other NRA, learning, changing the demand, everything is political, the luxury of choice, cancel culture, embracing failure, being grounded, defining your own success, never take no for an answer.

Related links:

Melissa Joy Manning Jewelry

Renaissance Entrepreneurship Center

Episode recorded on 01/28/21

Episode released on 02/17/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs

Certified sex educator, body acceptance advocate and the author of CURVY GIRL SEX: 101 Body-Positive Positions to Empower Your Sex Life, Elle Chase,  CSE, ACS, joins the pod to talk about how to simplify the complicated relationship we have with our bodies. We talk about the love of David (Bowie), messages we aren't achieving, complicated human beings, conditionally loving our bodies, accepting your body as is, compassion, demands, control, how dissatisfaction is healthy, standards, self-reflections, fear or love, no quick fix, zero patience, bossy messages, critical thinking, Marie Osmond, skinny women in bikinis, ennui, Madison Avenue, being sold to, a certain type of fatness, improvements, baby steps, being judged, self-criticism, embracing the imperfect, knowing what is realistic, being your ideal, plastic surgery, do what makes you happy, not having to be a certain way, the exterior won't fix the interior, labiaplasty, not looking how you feel, fall in love with yourself, there is no body that's normal, attracting shallow, what you bring to the table is important, dating when fat, self-esteem, taking the 350 lbs woman over the supermodel, how we get comfortable with ourselves, what we tell ourselves can be most damaging, stopping at neutral before going from negative to positive thoughts, changing the way we speak to ourselves, remember what you like about yourself, what you believe, romancing yourself, being your biggest fan, learning your love language, the relationship with yourself and its importance, Yukon gold potatoes, little things, comfort and joy, cravings, feeding the soul, separating wheat from chaff, muting, blocking and unfollowing, courage and strength, neutrality, more compassion, messy humans, Japanese sweet potatoes, knowing what lifts you up, being nice to yourself, recognizing the pressure we're under, finding what's supportive to you, friends, joy in Bernie memes, feeling like a human being again, perfections is boring, Michelle Pfeiffer, smokers, good toes, the perfect human, beautiful nailbeds.

You can find Elle on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook @TheElleChase and her website is ellechase.com. 

Episode recorded on 01/22/21

Episode released on 02/10/21

For more information on the podcast or its host, please visit sassylittlepodcast.com. There, you will find links to social media and an opportunity to become a member of the podcast community. We are on Twitter and Instagram @SassyLittlePod and Facebook @SassyLittlePodcast.

Thanks for listening! If you like this sassy little podcast, please subscribe to it, rate it and review it, and tell your friends about it. Become a patron on Patreon. Cheers!

The podcast is written, produced and edited by Sandra Ann Miller. Join the conversation at thehappyist.substack.com

Music: Shower Beer by GG Riggs