Acting Business Boot Camp

Time Management Workshop

About Andi:

Andi Matheny is a 25-year veteran of Hollywood who started the Andi Matheny Acting Studios in 2010 and has coached hundreds of actors to book their first roles in TV and film.

Andi has had a recurring role on The Resident as Dr. Kelly Whitley, starred opposite Sara Rue in The Hallmark Channel Movie True Love Blooms, opposite Kelsey Grammer in the film High Expectations, opposite Phylicia Rashad in the Oprah Winfrey production David Makes Man and opposite Ryan Phillippe and Patrick Duffy in the comedy Lady of the Manor, written and directed by Justin Long. Other notable credits include Devious Maids, The Mentalist, Ugly Betty, Zoey 101, The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, and The Shadow Effect. Andi hosted the talk shows Friends or Lovers, Essentials, Fit Resort and Spa, and Kwik Witz. She appeared in dozens of commercials, including a worldwide campaign for Olay. Andi won the Jury Prize for Best Florida Film for her directorial debut The Newest Member at the 2017 Sunscreen Film Festival. Her web series Good Morning St. Pete! which she wrote, directed, and starred in, won Best Web Series at the 2018 Sunscreen Film Festival and garnered her the Best Leading Actress Award at the 2018 Tampa Bay Underground Film Festival. Andi's groundbreaking book "Act ALIVE: The Essential Guide to Igniting and Sustaining Your Working Actor Career" was published in 2022 and debuted on Amazon at #3 in Acting and Auditioning.

Get the book: Act Alive

How hosting has changed.

Human beings are interesting.

hHere is a thing that beginning actors and even experienced actors do. They'll look at a script, right? And the script will say things like, "I hate you, you have ruined my life, blah, blah, blah." And everybody jumps to the conclusion of, "Well, this is an angry scene, and I got to say, I hate you, and you've ruined my life."

The hot person confrontation is when you find somebody, this "hot person" in your life who has screwed you over, and now you're kind of doing the fantasy version of talking to them the way you wish you could have talked to them in that moment.

As a coach, I'm not interested in your excuses. I'm interested in what you're going to do about it. In spite of all the odds against you.

If your job is to act, you better get fucking good at acting.

Understand what casting directors had been trying to get through my head, which is, I want you to be good.

When you audition, you are solving somebody's problem. So when you have the working actor mindset, you show up in a collaborative, helpful spirit to help solve the casting director's problem because the casting director has pressure on them to fulfill all of these roles.

As soon as you make it about the other person and not about you and your ego, that's when your bookings are going to start soaring.

Art comes from a totally different place. You've got to be connected. You have to be connected from your soul, from a soul level, to what you're doing.

Sometimes the less, the better.

Ask Me Anything

Marianne Williamson

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

My manifesto for my life is to inspire.

It is the one word that I feel describes what my purpose on this planet is to do. I wake up, and I show up for duty.

What's your one word purpose?

It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us.

And I believe it is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us because it is not our darkness that we need to take responsibility for. But it is our light. It is our talent.

Every single one of us has a purpose.

As your life gets bigger, it requires more of your attention.

Because I cannot give away what I have not given myself.

You not being your best; who the fuck does that serve?

You hiding your talent that has been so freely given to you? Who the hell does that serve?

You're not being generous and fabulous and showing your light and being who you really are. Who does that serve? The answer is no one except maybe your ego.

There's the ego mindset, which is finite and is only what is in me. And then there is the universal mindset, which is infinite. Which plugs into that universal intelligence.

There is power in serving. Because when you serve, you get out of yourself. When you are out of yourself, and you are serving, you are no longer in fear.

I am so done with playing small so that people around me feel more comfortable.

If you don't feel comfortable being around me, don't hang around me.

I want to concentrate on serving one because it makes me happy. Inspiring brings me more joy than anything else in the world, no matter what form it is.

It's not my job to help you feel better by diminishing myself.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

If you go on social media and you see somebody do something. And it makes you feel bad about yourself. Ask yourself, what do I not want to take responsibility for?

When one of your friends wins an award or one of your friends makes a short film, and it gets voted best something at the Grand Canyon Film Festival. Congratulate them.

Thank them for showing you that it is possible.

Isn't that much better than just feeling shitty about yourself? That doesn't serve anybody. That doesn't do anything.

I want to inspire you to do something. To be brave. To serve, because when you serve through your craft, through your talent, you are a positive force in this world. And, my God, we need a powerful force.

So be that in your world.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. That is the power of serving as an actor.

By you doing your work as an artist. You help other people, but you also help yourself, which only enables you to help more people.

Ask Me Anything

"I was 35 years old the first time I spoke up to my mother and refused to buy into her games and manipulation. I was terribly frightened and almost couldn't believe I was doing this. I found I didn't have to be mean. I didn't have to start an argument. But I could say what I wanted and needed to say to take care of myself. I learned I could love and honor myself and still care about my mother the way I wanted to, not the way she wanted me to."

Take a step back and observe.

I tell myself, mouth shut.

If you are using your mind to govern your brain while you are with family over the holiday and you start to spot the stuff going on.

You can simply remain quiet and just observe it:

• Maybe go to the kitchen.
• Make yourself a cup of tea.
• Make yourself a cup of coffee.
• Go to the bathroom.
• Say, "You know what? My legs are a bit stiff. I'm going to go for a walk."
• Understand that you don't need to be trapped into it.

You can observe it and can choose how you are going to respond to it.

I also recommend bringing some sort of a journal.

I also find that if there is a pet in the house, that's a great always a great diversion to go to the pet if you need a touchstone because animals are the presence keepers.

Drop the rope.

The best frickin' piece of advice I can give is when somebody goes at you, respond in kindness.

It's not that you're not participating. It's that you're taking care of yourself.

Just for this holiday. Take care of your emotional self.

Say less. Be kind. Be there for others.

Here's an old thing I've used to use quite a lot, put on your bubble suit.

When you get to where you are arriving or if you're taking a train or a plane, go to the public restroom, and bend all the way down to the floor. Imagine yourself stepping into an imaginary bubble suit. Pull it up around your head. Clench it tight and know that in your little bubble suit, you are safe and secure.

Ask Me Anything

Control versus trust.

"There was a time in my life when I felt so afraid of and overwhelmed by the very act of living. That I actually wanted to make out a schedule for each day of my life for the next five years. I wanted to include all the chores I had to do when I would do them, even when I would schedule relaxation. I wanted to get some order into what felt so incredibly overwhelming. I wanted to feel like I was in control."

How many times have I woken up in the morning and just gone, "Oh my God, I don't know how I'm going to be able to face this day?" How many times have I woken up going, "How am I going to take a step forward?"

And the fact of the matter is, I can't control anything.

The only thing I can change is myself and my attitude.

And the whole thing I think about anxiety is that anxiety is about control.

Remember, we will never be given more than we can handle. But we will be given more than we can control.

"Controlling is a direct response to our fear, panic and sense of helplessness. It is a direct response to feeling overwhelmed. And to distrust. We may not trust ourselves, our higher power, or the universe. The plan. The process of life. But instead of trusting, which is really what we need to be doing, we revert to trying to control. We can approach this need to control by dealing with our fear. We deal with fear by trusting ourselves, our higher power, the love and the support of the universe, the plan, and this process we call life. And the recovery of ourselves. We can trust that when things don't work out the way we want. The universe does have something better planned."

Sometimes we don't immediately see it. And we want to see it immediately. Why do we want to see it immediately? Well, because we want to control.

My job is not to control. My job is to show up. And do the next right thing. The next thing on my plate.

"We can trust ourselves to get where we need to go. Say what we need to say. Do what we need to do. Know what we need to know. Be who we need to be and become all we can become. When we are intended to do that, when we are ready. And when the time is right."

So imagine that. Just imagine that.

When we are ready.

When the time is right.

We can trust our higher power, the universe, whatever the heck you want to call it, to give us direction.

We are always doing the very, very best we can in each and every moment. We need to trust.

"We can trust. All that we need on this journey shall come to us. We will not get all we need for the entire journey. Today, we shall receive today's supplies today. And tomorrow's supplies tomorrow. We are never intended to carry supplies for the entire journey. The burden would be too heavy. And the way was intended to actually be light. Trust in yourself. We do not have to plan or control or schedule all things. The schedule and the plan have been written. All we need to do is show up. The way will become clear and the supplies will be amply provided for us and clearly provided. One day at a time. Trust in yourself. Trust in the universe. And trust in today."

Ask Me Anything!

Have some fun.

How important that is, for your instrument as an actor, but also for you as a human being.

"So have some fun. Loosen up a bit, enjoy life. We do not have to be so somber and serious. We do not have to be so reflective, so critical, so bound up within ourselves and the rigid parameters others and often ourselves have placed around us."

One of the things when I was starting out as a young actress, I would always be quite somber and serious.

It wasn't until doing this work that I allowed myself to be a little bit more silly because it was almost like I felt like it wasn't safe for me to have fun.

I think that I had this idea that I had to work, work, work, and I had to be miserable, and it had to be hard. And that's just not the way it is.

Because when we relax and we have fun, and we play, that's when we enjoy our lives the most, but also how we enjoy a scene or acting the most.

The best actors are so relaxed and in the moment.

"This is life, not a funeral service. Have some fun with it. Enter into it. Participate. Experiment. Take a risk. Be spontaneous. Do not always be so concerned about doing it right. Doing the 'appropriate thing.'"

Just do the next right thing.

It's moving from "do the next thing right" to "just do the next right thing."

One is a very healthy way of thinking, and the other is very judgmental.

Do I want to choose the healthy way, or do I want to go the way I've always done it.

"Do not always be so concerned about what others will think or say. What they think and say are their issues, not ours. Do not be so afraid of making a mistake. Do not be so fearful and proper. Do not inhibit yourself so much."

Just let go. Take a risk. See what happens.

"To keep our faces towards change and behave like free spirits in the presence of fate is strength undefeatable."

"We were not intended to be so inhibited, so restricted, so controlled. These repressive parameters are what other people have imposed on us, what we have allowed to be done to us."

We teach people how to treat us.

We can also reteach people how to treat us. But that involves setting boundaries, that involves standing up for ourselves. That involves allowing us and allowing ourselves to be free.

"We were created fully human. We were given emotions. Desires, hopes. Dreams. Feelings. There is an alive, excited, fun-loving child in us somewhere. Let it come out. Let it come alive. Let it have some fun. Not for just 2 hours on a Saturday evening. Bring it with us. Let it help us enjoy this gift of being alive. Being fully human and being who we are."

That's what I would describe as great acting, that it is about being fully human, about being fully alive, about being unrestricted, about being fearless.

And I find, again, the more I can do that in my own life. The more that can be brought into the art of acting.

"So many rules. So much shame we've lived with. It simply isn't necessary. We have been brainwashed. It is time now to free ourselves. Let ourselves go and enter fully human into a full life. Don't worry. We will learn our lessons when necessary. We have learned discipline. We will not go awry. What will happen is we will begin enjoying life. We will begin enjoying and experiencing our whole self. We can trust ourselves."

Anxiety is about feeling like we can't handle it. And the fact of the matter is we can handle it.

"We have boundaries now. We have a foundation. We can afford to experiment and experience. We are in touch with ourselves and our universe. We are being guided. But a frozen inanimate object cannot be guided. It cannot even be moved. Have some fun. Loosen up a bit. Break a few rules. We won't be punished. We don't have to allow people to punish us. And we can stop punishing ourselves. As long as we are here and alive, let's begin to live."

I want to give you a tool: Listen to my other podcasts. Listen to all of the core work podcasts. Listen to them once. And then listen to them again with a pad and paper. Take notes. And writing it down. It's so, so powerful.

Ask Me Anything

Letting go of timing

Be humble to the moment

"Time thou must untangle this, not I. It is too hard a knot for me untie."

That nagging feeling of like, "why isn't it moving faster?"

That's what this is all about.

The Language of Letting Go

"When the time is right. How often have we heard those words from a friend? From the universe. From anyone. We sometimes want things so badly: that job, that check, a relationship, a possession. We want our life to change. So we wait sometimes patiently, sometimes anxiously wondering all the while, when will the future bring me what I long for? Will I be happy then? We tried to predict, circling dates on the calendar, asking questions. We forget that we don't hold the answers. The answers come from the universe. And if we really listen closely, we will hear them. When the time is right. When the time is right. Be happy now."

And when it comes to being uncomfortable, meaning being in process, that makes even more sense. Because who wants to be in process? We want to get there.

If I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, I have the power to change my life.

Because in order to make that kind of a change, like a huge change in your life, you're going to have to do things that you're not so comfortable doing.

Exercise:

• I want you to think of the things that you so want to have happen.
• And then I want you to also think about how you will need to change in order to make those things happen.
• I also want you to look at how you can enjoy the process of making it happen.

About Michael:

Michael Kostroff is an established TV and stage actor best known for his role as unscrupulous gang attorney Maury Levy on HBO's legendary series, The Wire. In addition to his many television gigs, he's toured with The Producers and Les Misérables, appeared on regional stages all across the country, served as an advice columnist for Backstage, created the popular workshop "Audition Psych 101" (which focuses on the psychological side of auditioning), and written four books, including his recently published manual, The Stage Actor's Handbook: Traditions, Protocols, and Etiquette for the Working and Aspiring Professional.

The gospel of low expectations. My philosophy is very different from the popular philosophies—no one's entitled to a career. If you decide this is what you want to do, then you're signing on for the unemployment, the insecurity, the inconsistency, and you don't get to complain about it.

Yeah, I love being an actor, but it's not dependent on credits or being employed. It's who I am and what I've chosen to do with my life. So sign on for the whole thing. Not just the days when you work.

Remind yourself that this is a job, and you are being paid to do it, so you need to show up and do it.

The reason that the psychology of auditioning is my specialty is because I was miserable at it. I hated every moment of it. I was terrible at it, and I was all in my head about stuff. And I had to pick it apart to get to the place where I am now, which is I enjoy it.

Most auditions do not result in jobs. That's math. It's not because we suck. It's just applying mathematics. And I realized that I was putting all my energy and focus into figuring out how to get a job.

And when I realized that is not going to happen 99% of the time, there has to be another reason to go to an audition.

And now, I relish the opportunity to be an actor and play a role. And I have a much better time auditioning.

And as soon as I said, You're not getting the fucking job; I started to go, Oh, okay. Well, then, I'm going to make the choices I would make if I had the role because I'm only going to do it for one performance. Let's. Let's invest in it. Let's make the decisions. Let's do all the choices. Let's do it my way.

Because I can't guess what they're going to like or not like.

I think self-knowledge is essential for actors. Because I really know myself. Thank you. Thank you. I'm able to morph into these other characters from it, from a place that's truthful and neutral.

I think that to really play those roles well. You know, you have to make a case for your character.

You need to be the best advocate for your character.

That is sometimes difficult because sometimes the person who we have the hardest time advocating for is ourselves.

I really want actors to step into their authority as actors.

Trying to predict what people will respond to is the enemy of good acting.

Just going, "I don't know if they're going to pick me. Probably they won't. But here's how I'd like to play this scene today."

It's hard for us to believe in our own work. I think that's very challenging.

It is more effective for me not to think in terms of whether I am a good actor or not a good actor. Instead, I've got stuff to do in this scene.

Get yourself so busy with the thoughts of the character and the objectives of the character. I always say when I'm in the scene; there's nobody else who can do it. I'm the only one who can convince these people that my wife is trying to kill me.

My mantra is you're not getting the fucking job. Trying to get the job is not conducive to getting a job because nobody wants to watch an actor try to get a job. You're not getting the fucking job. There's no fucking job. Now, convince these people that your wife is trying to kill you. That's what you got to do.

You do your prep, and then you've got to throw the Frisbee. You got to let it go. And that's scary. That's risky because you're your ego wants to control it.

My best days are the days when I'm the passenger; I'm the copilot. I'm here to show up and to be of service on this day.

Rip off the Band-Aid and deal with it because it will not get easier.

I really have no tolerance for actors who are always going on about how unfair the business is. Correct. What do you want to do now?

Keep the focus on yourself.

When somebody is bitter about that or something else, I always ask, "so what's the payoff? Okay, so they're going to be casting more actors of color. So does that mean you try less? Oh, oh, I get it. So you don't have to take responsibility now."

Whenever I'm in some negative place, I ask myself this question, What are you not taking responsibility for?

Take your emotions out of your to-do list.

I'm trying to take judgment out of my to-do list, also.

The Stage Actors Handbook

And it details our traditions, our protocols, our superstitions, our particular language, and our particular chain of command that you just mostly learn from screwing up.

Alfred Molina said, "look; when you transfer from the rehearsal hall to the theater, everything will go wonky."

Bebe Neuwirth wrote about the importance of your physical script and taking notes.

Stephanie Bloch wrote about leading a company and the responsibilities of being the lead.

About Christin Baker:

Christin Baker (A Baker Production) is an award-winning director and Emmy-nominated producer. She has been playing with video producing and storytelling since she was 13 after her family got their first VHS camcorder. She started out directing music videos, and SNL parodies with the neighborhood kids and moved on to start her own digital distribution and production company, tellofilms.com.

She is the co-founder of Tello Films, which focuses on stories for the lesbian/queer community. Tello is the first lesbian/queer network to receive an Emmy Nomination. The series Secs & EXECS has received a 2017 Emmy Nomination for Mindy Sterling, Outstanding Actress in a Short Form Comedy/Drama Series. In 2019 the series "Riley Parra" received 2 Emmy nominations for actresses Liz Vassey and Carolyn Ratteray. Christin is passionate about telling relevant and meaningful stories. Christin was early in the streaming content creation and founded Tello Films in 2009. She is an expert on distributing and creating original content (features, shorts, and series) as well as creating a platform for monetizing niche entertainment. Christin is also passionate about directing and was awarded Best Director for her work on Maybelle at the 2016 London Raindance Film Festival. Christin is a member of the Producers Guild of America as well as the Television Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences. Christin just wrapped directing her 4th Lesbian/Queer Holiday RomCom "Merry & Gay" and is working on the 2nd feature for her Thriller Franchise Scare BNB called "Scare BNB: Double Booking." That follows "Christmas at the Ranch," "I Hate New Year's," and "Season of Love," which was the first Hallmark-esque Lesbian/Queer Holiday RomCom.

Actors making their own content and the power that has for them.

As a director and producer, I love when I know an actor has tried their own hand at making a project because their respect for what we're going through is significantly greater.

I think so much of acting is waiting to be called upon. Right? Like you go to an audition, you send in your tape, you send in your tape, and then you sit back, and you wait for someone to say yes or no to you.

And so I think any time you can put your energy into something active, that's like telling your own story, I think just energetically that helps you and puts you in your own action.

I always think work begets work.

If you can, it can be very helpful when the gender of the person you're acting with is the same as who's reading with you.

Don't have the camera too close to your face.

So I've seen some audition tapes, and this is for people who are probably very green, who are listening to your podcast--I've had audition tapes sent in where no one is reading with the person on camera.

Do your best to have someone reading with you that that's going to give you, you know, something even if it's yourself.

I can sometimes tell within 10 seconds. And if the person isn't right, I move on.

The most important thing is to like make a choice, make a bold choice that I can see.

I'm an actor's director. I love playing with actors on set. I love that, like knowing if they can make a choice. And if I don't like that choice, I'll make a correction. But I know that like they're going to come to the table having thought about it and giving me something interesting.

Favorite qualities of actors who you love to work with:

1. I really love working with an actor who can make a quick pivot.
2. The eyes are so important, you can literally see that shift in the eyes, and it's absolutely like it's incredible.
3. I love actors when they have that instinct to move.

What is the process of how you make an independent film?

• You have to kind of figure out the business of it.
• I wanted to get investors, meaning you have to set up an LLC.
• Then you have to ensure that LLC owns the rights to the script in the movie and the project. And often, those LLCs will be called like the name of the film.
• A crowdfunding campaign. For me, that was a perfect place to start.
• Accredited investors

There are certain producers out there that have investors who are sitting out there waiting to invest in projects. And I know that sounds crazy. And I think it's like this magical fairyland, but it is true. And so when they get A-list stars or a big name, they can go back to their, you know, multimillion-dollar or billionaire pockets and go, "hey, we have Nick Cage. We need another $5 million, and those people will give it to them."

If you don't have those people, casting an A-list star in your movie will not get you investors.

What it will get you on the backend is like press and a decent distributor. It lets you have those multimillionaire billionaire people. It will not get your money on the front end.

What do you think are other misnomers about raising money for film?

• I have also heard people say to me, especially in the LGBTQ community, "Oh, investors aren't always looking for their money back, like they take it to a project they believe in."
  • Okay, so that's true for a few investors out there.
  • Do not go into a situation ever thinking investors only want goodwill.
• Your first and most important job is telling a great story.
• The second is to get your investors their money back because if you do, they'll give it to you again.

Words of wisdom to actors who want to make their first feature film?

• The first one is to do favors for other people so that when it's your turn to make your movie, they will do favors for you.
• Talk to people who have done it before and just talk to them and say, Hey, what mistakes did you make? What did you want to know? Who did you like working with?

Crowdfunding Mistakes:

1. They ask for what they want and not what they can raise.
2. People always think, "if I hit my goal too early, people won't give money to me."
3. Don't do T-Shirts!
4. You should always have stretch goals in mind.

We support the LGBTQ community, here is a list for additional reading and watching!

Ask Me Anything!

Being the Alpha Class for SAG-AFTRA

"Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others."

What I started to learn was that people not liking me was survivable.

That not everybody had to like Peter. Not everybody had to approve of Peter. But the number one person who did need to approve of Peter, who did need to like Peter. Who did need to love Peter was Peter.

"Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapprove of our actions."

I survived. And not only did I survive, but I also thrived. Because I no longer was looking for that person's approval. I was looking for my own.

What was so scary about people leaving me was that I didn't know how to love myself. But guess what I learned? I learned. It's something that you can learn.

Please guide me. Please guide me to love myself. Please guide me to approve of myself. So I don't ask agents, casting directors, and managers for it. Because guess what? Them approving of you is not their job.

"In order to live happily, to live consistently with a way our higher power or the universe wants us to live and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe. We need to let go of our extreme need for approval."

If that casting director, agent, or manager doesn't like you, and that's probably not what it is, they're just passing on you because they don't feel they can serve you. You will survive.

But it's about you gaining perspective on yourself. And you approving of you. That is so important.

"These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control of us today."

I can control whether I give my power away.

"These needs from the past can prevent us from acting in our own best interest and being true to ourselves. Acting in her own best interest."

I want to act in my own best interest. I don't want to give my power away anymore. I want to be true to myself. Even if it upsets the people who mean most to me in the world, we can approve of ourselves.

In the end, that's the only approval that counts.

On Camera with Katie Flahive

"Too often, we try to gain a clear perspective before it is time. That will make us crazy. We don't always know why things are happening the way they are. We don't always know how a particular relationship will work out. We don't always understand the source of our feelings why we've been led down a particular path. What is being worked out in us? What we are learning. Why do we need to recycle? Why we had to wait? Why we needed to go through a time of discipline, or why a door closed? How our present circumstances will work into the larger scheme of events is not always clear to us. And that is how it needs to be. Perspective will come in retrospect. We could strain for hours today for the meaning of something that may come in an instant next year. But let it go. We can let go of our need to figure things out. And we can let go of our need to feel in control. Now is time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn. To let whatever is being worked out in us just take its course. In hindsight, we will know. It will become clear. For today being is enough. We have been told that all things shall work out for good in our life. We can trust that to happen. Even if we cannot see the place, today's events will hold in the larger picture."

I cannot tell you how many times I have tried to force a decision.

"Time, thou shall untangle this, not I. It is too hard a knot for me to untie."

That will allow me to have perspective. Unfold before me instead of me trying to unfold it.

"We don't always know why things are happening the way they are. We just don't. I don't know. I haven't got a clue. But sometimes it's best for me just to say; you know what? I don't know. And you know what?

There's no shame in saying you don't know. There's no shame in it. You don't have to know everything.

All you have to do is suit up and show up and do the very, very best you can.

The time that we need in order to gain perspective.

It's not something that we can force, but what we can do while we're waiting for that perspective is we can take care of ourselves.

"We do not always know how a particular relationship will work out. We just don't. But we can ask for guidance. Guide me. Show me what you need me to do in this particular relationship. We don't always understand the source of our feelings.

"We don't always understand why we've been led down a particular path. Guide me. Show me. Show me what you need me to learn on this path. Show me what you need me to learn in this particular day."

Lessons are recycled in us. And when I just kind of say, yeah, I'm not going to deal with something, or I'm not going to take responsibility for whatever this particular lesson I'm being taught in life is, I find that that lesson recycles. It recycles with just a little more urgency and just a little more; I hate to say it, pain because pain is an excellent motivator.

Along with perspective and waiting for perspective on your life, I find that takes a lot of humility. And humbleness. Because to gain perspective, we need to say, "I don't know." And to obey a higher power or a universe, we need to say, "I can't. You universe can. So I'm going to let you universe take over."

If you have discipline, you can do anything. And that includes waiting to gain perspective.

And this question, Why did that door close?

"Look back, don't stare."

And again, remember, forgiving is not forgetting. It's letting go of the past.

Perspective will come in retrospect.

"Now is the time to be. To feel. To go through it. To allow things to happen. To learn."

To be curious.

"Let whatever is being worked out in us take its course."

So that is the challenge I put before you today. And listening to this podcast is to implement those tools of asking for help and asking for guidance in trying to gain perspective in your life and in your acting career.