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Join us for a lively discussion with Dr. Michael Fontaine (Classics, Cornell University) as we talk about his new book—How to Tell a Joke: An Ancient Guide to the Art of Humor—a translation and analysis of ancient Roman treatises on humor from both Cicero and Quintilian. Along the way we tackle such questions as “How can a politician or a lawyer use humor to win a room?”, “Is one born funny or can it be taught?” and “Did Cicero seal his own fate by telling jokes that went too far?” Tune in for the laughs, guffaws, and occasional snickers, and be sure to share your own opinion on this all important query: “Is it possible for really attractive people to be funny?”

Today Jeff and Dave dive into the oeuvre of Roman historian Gaius Sallustius Crispus (known as “Sallust” or “Crispy” to his friends), particularly sections 6-13 of his Bellum Catilinae. Dave argues that with this work Sallust invents the “monograph”, zeroing in on a narrow subject as his “hook” rather than trying to “do it all” more broadly and blandly. In the eight chapters referenced above Sallust zips through about 1200 years of Roman history, from Aeneas to the 1st century BC, highlighting the moral apex of the Republic down to the money-grubbing, wine-chugging, disco-clubbing depravities of his own day. Will you agree with Jeff that Sallust is a bit of a hypocrite, thundering against luxuries from the terraces of his lavish Quirinal gardens, or will you side with Dave and give old Sally a break?

After the smoke clears from some much needed post-slaughter fumigation, Dave and Jeff finally lumber their way to the end of the epic. At last we get a proper reunion between husband and wife in which Penelope wins the battle of wits. The occasion? Odysseus gets artichoked up when Penelope treats their bed like an IKEA futon. Now, roll the credits, right? WRONG. There's a whole other book to go! We see the suitors take the slip-n-slide down to Hades where Agamemnon gives them the raspberry. Back on Ithaca, Odysseus goes into "metis mode" and decides to test his aged dad with yet another false identity! But why? Does Odysseus even know who he himself is anymore? And be sure to stick around for the surprise, dea ex machina ending.

Dave comes into the Vomitorium in a bit of a gloomy mood, and what’s on tap in these books does not look like it will help much. All the planning and scheming by Odysseus finally comes down to this—the suitors (and a goodly portion of the house staff) get what’s coming to them, and only a handful of the loyal survive. Is this grisly, but acceptable justice? Athena (disguised as Mentor) wants it, so it has to be ok, right?  Dave seems to agree, but Jeff (softie that he is) says, “hold up a minute”. Can we dismiss the death of the hapless Leodes, and especially the execution of the maids so easily? As they say, it’s complicated. LISTENER WARNING: this episode contains a grisly description (from the text of the Odyssey) of hanging and dismemberment at approx. 53.00 on. So if younger children listen, use discretion.

What happened to Episode 35 and Dr. Michael Fontaine? Well, our hosts had some tech diffs. That planned episode didn't drop. It shattered. So instead Jeff and Dave go far off script and offer up a hastily-prepared, poorly-seasoned, half-baked, slightly rewarmed, partially-marinated impromptu side dish (or podcast upside down cake) that answers this burning question: why should I study Greek and Latin? Along the way, you learn about Cliff Clavin, Count Dooku, Eric Blair, J.K. Rowling, Dumbo's Stables, and the secret life of appendectomists. There is also the rare serious moment where we compare ἔρις and ἐριθεία from Philippians 1 with Jerome's translation contentio.

When does Penelope know who the stranger really is?  This question is at the center of today’s episode as the storm continues to gather in Odysseus’ house.  But first—a bum fight!  With a bloody goat paunch on the line (and who wouldn’t step it up for something tasty like that?), Odysseus clocks the mouthy Irus (aka Arnaeus) with the ol’ one-two. Then Penelope overshares (or does she???) with the stranger, Eurykleia shrieks at a telling scar (or was it just the stranger’s b.o.?), and things wrap up with a weird, geesey dream that puts Odysseus on the defensive and his wife in the driver’s seat. Also, should we feel sorry for Amphinomus just because his name is really difficult to pronounce?

Ecce! Here it is, the tearjerking, heartbreaking, bird-shrieking, deeply satisfying reunion between long-lost Odysseus and his heroic son Telemachus. Jeff and Dave guide you through all the action as Tely returns to the hut of the humble swineherd Eumaeus (swineherd good, goatherd bad, cowherd so-so) to rendezvous with dad. Don’t miss Eumaeus’ backstory, plenty of bird omens, and Odysseus dodging stool legs while disguised as a beggar. You not only get Jeff’s penetrating literary analysis, but you also learn he has some bones to pick with Homer over these extended lessons in xenia (do we need so much wine, meat, and sparkly robes?) in these “troughy” books. And be sure to smirk derisively at Dave’s typical string of self-indulgent, piffling puns. Achoober? Srsly?

This week Odysseus wraps up his epic yarn for the Phaeacians by threading the needle between the “dog-trunked” Scylla and the gulping maelstrom of Charybdis, a waxy zip past the alluring Sirens, and an ill-advised stop on the island of Helios where his men’s hankering for a decent steak does the rest of them in. Then (finally!) Odysseus is ferried home to his home island of Ithaca. As much as he’d like to rush home, check the junkmail, and clean out his gutters, this is no time to start trusting people. Athena directs him to cool his heels in the hut of the swineherd Eumaeus (Dave’s favorite!) where there’s always ouzo for two-zo, pork hot off the spit, and a down-home xenia that sits at the moral center of the tale.

In this episode we welcome Dr. Ed Watts into the vomitorium. A highly respected historian of Rome from UCSD, Ed talks with Jeff and Dave about his fascinating 2018 book Mortal Republic: How Rome Fell into Tyranny. Come along for the sights, the sounds, and yes, even some of the smells of ancient Rome as Ed explains – to Dave's chagrin – his antipathy toward Cicero as a person and stylist, but deep respect for the man for his "profound" political insights. Individuals are mortal, but a republic doesn't have to be. Ed leads us through a careful explanation of the breakdown of Roman society in the final years, and the personal and economic forces that led to tyranny. Be sure to stay tuned to the end where Dr. Watts gives his sobering take on political violence on the American scene. And check out our social media to win 1 of 3 signed copies of Ed's book we're giving away, thanks to Basic Books.