Ever run into the phrase Quidquid Latine dictum sit altum videtur (“Whatever is said in Latin seems profound”)? Well, most of the states in the American union took that sentiment to heart when they came up with their personal mottoes (institutions and tattoo-getters too). After a brief detour through the pitfalls of collegiate apophthegms and bare midriff-commenting, Dave and Jeff rip and riff through all the mottos of the lower 48 (and those other two). Little mercy is shown as they decide who’s on point, who just phoned it in, and why Michigan’s is (proh dolor) the worst one of all. Even so, si quaeritis amoenas nugas, audite!

This week Jeff and Dave wrap their look at Lucretius’ De Rerum Natura, doing their best to break down the essentials all the while dodging those clinamen-controlled atoms. Because according to Luc these little cueballs explain everything. Earthquakes? Swerving atoms. Human speech? Swerving atoms. That dream you had about being late for your myth final while inexplicably juggling fuchsia avocados? Swerving atoms. Tune in to discover how the world blows its nose, and how to answer your kids' awkward questions, e.g., “Mom, where do centaurs come from?” And if you get nabbed for drinking the detritus-laced milk straight from the breakfast bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch? Just tell ‘em the atoms made you do it.

This week Dave and Jeff make their way through the heart of the matter with a close look at Books 2-4 of Lucretius' Epicurean masterpiece. The guys serve up dreams, gossamer atoms, Stonecutters, Steve Gutenberg, and a whole lot of Dave's irascibility. Along the way, you'll learn not only how E. got his physics from the pre-Socratic atomists Leucippus and Democritus, but also how the late Kurt Cobain may just rip apart this long-term, literary friendship. Jeff reprises his brief but brilliant John Lennon impression for all you Beatleites, and by the end, philosophy has helped restore a little of our host's equanimity. Finally, can the Epicurean view of death and the afterlife bring comfort?  Tune in to find out.

Our dive into Lucretius continues this week and after a quick review of Epicureanism we get to the particulars.  First up, Memmius, Lucretius’ patron to whom he dedicated his work. Why him? From the few shenanigans we know about Memmy he seems like a very un-Epicurean sort. Was Lucretius trying convert him? Then the thesis of the work—freeing oneself from superstition and the fear of death. If religion forces you to sacrifice you own daughter, what good is it? Can Venus and Mars stay in détente long enough to chill things out? Maybe as likely as Dave and Jeff agreeing on Roy Orbison’s catalogue and who actually gets to be a Travelling Wilbury. You don't want to miss this one!

This week Jeff and Dave may have bitten off more than they can chew as the subject of the day is, well, everything. In the 1st century BC Lucretius sat down and attempted to, in dactylic hexameter mind you, explain the origin of all things without resorting to divine explanations. How would this have played amongst the smart set of his day? And why should we listen to someone who may have bought the farm by overdosing on Love Potion #9? We might better understand all of it with a better grasp of the philosophy Lucretius adhered to—Epicureanism. Hold the chariot, aren’t those the guys who just swan around at cocktail parties and sample overly fancy hors d’oeuvres? We’ll untangle it. Promise. Kinda.

What better way to ring in our 50th than with the ribald, ridiculous, and righteous ruckus that is Athenian Old Comedy? After a quick trip through the quasi-mythic origins of comedy, Dave and Jeff dive into the particulars of Aristophanes’ Frogs.  In this play we find ourselves in 405 BC and the great tragedian Euripides has just died. Dionysus, the god of tragedy itself, decides that because there are now no good poets left he’ll go down into Hades and bring Euripides back from the dead. And from there it just gets weirder. So settle in with a big bowl of beef-n-bean stew and see whether Dave can keep from blushing from all the scatology, orJeff can stop from gushing over his own translation. Oh, and watch out for that little bottle of oil.

This week the throw-down continues as Dave, Jeff, and Dr. Patrick M. Owens dig into a pile of Latin textbooks and see which ones are worthy of a podium finish. Need to brush up on your ecclesiastical Latin? You’d better know your Collins from your Henle. Do the names “Cambridge” and “Oxford” conjure images of Britishy erudition? Maybe not so fast. Dashed off caricatures of oddly proportioned “melon heads” not your thing? Learn which books NOT to open. So, tune in (if you can take a break from gilding your cute little Duolingo owl and trying to advance to the Amethyst League). Also, Rosetta Stone, Ossa Latinitatis, and Hans Ørberg.

This week Dave and Jeff sit down for Part I of a wide-ranging discussion with good friend and Latin guru Dr. Patrick M. Owens of Hillsdale College. We take a brief look at Patrick’s fascinating bio and how he came to love and practice spoken Latin at a very high level. Then we seek to answer such questions as “What makes a good Latin textbook?” “What is the role of the teacher in presenting a Latin curriculum?” “What are the strengths of the inductive vs. deductive methods of language instruction?”, and more. In this episode we look especially at Wheelock's and Moreland and Fleischer. Be sure to tune in for Shaq, pompadours, and a raucous exchange of pokes and jabs as Patrick and Dave finally get down to fisticuffs, and Jeff does his best Kenny Bayless.

Jeff and Dave bring the first show from Vomitorium West, where they take a close look at the sophist Gorgias (483–375 BC). When he wasn’t hitting the Olympia/Delphi orators circuit for some cool drachmai, Gorgias was in Athens claiming to be able to answer any question anyone one might put to him. Who was this guy? Did he actually believe his own press? In this work, G defends Helen of Troy so convincingly you’ll be fist-pumping. That is, until he pulls the rug out from under the whole project with the work's final word. Oh, and make sure you know your millihelens from your terahelens before you wander down to the harbor with Robertson Davies and Isaac Asimov. Then again, you probably don’t exist (G says nothing does), so don’t sweat it. Finally, check out Jeff's smoove beatbox.

This week the Vomitorium is graced with the presence of Dave and Jeff’s friend, former colleague, mentor and professor, Dr. Ken Bratt. Join us as Dr. Bratt shares his vast knowledge of the ancient Roman colony of Philippi--site of game-changing battles, crossroads of culture, and where the first European converts to Christianity (including Lydia) were made. Ken walks us through the archaeological remains, connecting them to biblical narrative and dispelling a few likely legends along the way. Is that really “Paul’s Prison” there in Philippi? Bonus feature:  learn what shenanigans Jeff got up to as a sophomore on a trip to Greece with Ken in the ‘90s. Also, what can we do to get Dave to loosen up? This episode is packed!