This is a talk given by Carl D on his experience with Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) and the journey of self-discovery and healing. He discusses the false self and true self in ACA, the 14 traits of ACA, the dangers and lessons learned on the journey, and the promises of ACA. Carl shares his personal experiences and how ACA has helped him find his true self and live a happier, more authentic life.

Key Takeaways

 ACA is a program for people who were raised in an alcoholic or otherwise dysfunctional home
 The false self and true self are key concepts in ACA
  The 14 traits of ACA represent the false self and can be overcome through the ACA program
  Facing the dangers and challenges of the ACA journey leads to self-discovery and healing
  The promises of ACA include increased self-esteem, healthier boundaries, and a sense of peace and happiness

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Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) Talk - Carl D

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Health & Fitness

Mental Health

May 17


We were “driven by a hundred forms of fear.” This is what the “Big Book” of Alcoholics Anonymous says. I couldn’t agree more. How often have you been fearful of not getting something you want or of losing something you have? Out of that sentence, we still have ninety-eight more forms of fear to deal with. WTF! That’s a lot of fear. So many situations, relationships, pain, injury, finances, security, sexual relations, etc. It’s a lot of shit! Too much shit to account for on this page. So, what does one do with all this fear? Well, the Big Book suggests taking an inventory and attempting to see where these natural instincts got misdirected/warped and became our mental liabilities. The thought that we are driven by fear (and mostly in our own heads) can be a shock to some of us, but once it’s put down on paper, the idea becomes all too clear. 


Reflections
Have you attempted anything like this in your life? Is now the time? If you have done it already, what was your takeaway?
Daily Challenge
Look into the 12 Steps and see if they might help you. For example, search: “12 Steps of A.A.” If you have done them already, review your Fourth Step again. Is there anything you left out?

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366 Book - May 17

May 16


What are your hands and feet doing right now? Where are they? Really? That’s exactly where you’re supposed to be. Doesn’t that feel good? All your life has led up to this moment, right here, right now. Every decision from birth to this moment has guided you here. Is that not remarkable? Look around you. Are you safe? Do you have food and shelter? Do you? Lucky motherfucker! No matter where you are today, be there. Be aware of every motherfucking thing. Enjoy it to the fullest extent. Take it all in, and remember that you are exactly where you need to be today. 
Reflections
Where did you think you should be instead? Are your thoughts about yourself based on reality? Are your thoughts grounded in gratitude?
Daily Challenge
Look around you. Be grateful for the basics today. 



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366 Book - May 16

May 15


Fuck! I never call my mother. I really should. She is getting up there in age, and she deserves a better son. It’s hard, sometimes, in the thick of life, to stop and call your parents. Also, sometimes I don’t want to relive the past, and when I see my mother, it reminds me of some fucked-up shit. It’s not that I dislike her. I have a hard time with my emotions relating to the past. It’s why I go to A.C.A. and why I see a therapist. The reason why I feel I should call my mother is two-fold. One: that I really should call my mother and be a good fucking son. She carried me for nine months and put food on the table. She could have given up or given me up, and she didn’t. Two: I need to face the past and let it go. I/We/You need to move on and get over that shit. It was a lifetime ago. Tell you what, if I call my mom, you will call yours. Agreed? 
Reflections
Why do you not call your family? Is there something in the past still disturbing you? 
Daily Challenge
Call your mother/father or guardian. The guardian that tried to raise you. Just make the call. No excuses. 



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366 Book - May 15

May 14
Every day I get up and take long, deep breaths listening to Headspace. Then I watch “The morning wake up” on the app and follow it up with 15 minutes of guided meditation. Toward the end of the meditation, there is a moment when the guy says, “Let the mind think if the mind has been wanting to think.” And I say, “No. Fuck you, mind!” That’s gotten us into a lot more trouble than it’s worth. So, I don’t think. That is my cue to interrupt the mind or my “Self” and take a page from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous (Page 63). It is the Third-Step prayer that I have taken the time to memorize. It reminds me of my selfish nature and that I should be focused outside of myself throughout the day. This ritual has become routine and is an important reminder of my recovery today. 
Reflections
Do you have a ritual? 
Daily Challenge
Memorize the Third-Step prayer: God, I offer myself to Thee — to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, That victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love and Thy Way of life, May I do Thy will always! (The wording is, of course, quite optional)



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366 Book - May 14

May 13
We often relate too strongly to our lower self. What do we mean by that? Well, it’s the go-to identity some of us use in our daily lives. We have discussed it as being the “baddie” or “playing for the bad team.” In some psychology circles, they call it “The shadow self.” Sounds kinda ominous. No matter how you define it, that lower self can be a lifelong relationship that is hard to shake. We believe that is what defines us. Being a bad-ass motherfucker, tough as nails, etc. But are we really? And is that what we really want? Sometimes that persona may be needed when defending yourself from some thugs in a grocery store parking lot. Still, it’s seldom the foot you would like to lead with in your daily life. It causes more harm than good. Would you not agree? 
Reflections
What is stopping you from acting on the nature of your higher self? Who do you admire that has led an extraordinary life? 
Daily Challenge
Challenge your sense of self today to lead a mighty life. 



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Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACA) Talk - Carl D

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