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Episode 143: Healing Language That Hurts

Some of the most damaging things we say about healing are said with the best intentions.

In this short solocast, Cinnamon takes a hard look at the phrases we casually throw around when someone is hurting. Let it go. Move on. Put it behind you. You should be over this by now.

She explains why this kind of language doesn’t heal. It shames. It implies erasure. And it quietly tells people they’re doing recovery wrong if the past still shows up.

Drawing from her work as a therapist and her own lived losses, Cinnamon breaks down why healing isn’t about forgetting, cutting cords, or turning pages like nothing happened. Trauma doesn’t disappear on command. It doesn’t come with scissors. And it doesn’t stay politely behind you.

Instead, she offers a reframe that actually fits how nervous systems work. Healing is when the memory drops from face level to ankle level. It’s still there. You’re aware of it. But it no longer blocks your breath, your vision, or your ability to live.

This episode is for anyone who still has waves. For anyone who remembers. For anyone who’s been told they should be further along by now.

You’re not broken. You’re not failing at healing. And you don’t need better metaphors that ask you to disappear parts of yourself.

You need language that tells the truth.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

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Episode 142: Frontline Strong Together – When Support Actually Shows Up

In this episode, I sit down with Mike Mattern and Scott Taylor from Frontline Strong Together, a Michigan-based mental health program built by first responders for first responders.

Here’s why this matters.
 It’s free.
 It’s state-funded.
 And it works.

Mike and Scott are retired first responders who didn’t find this work through theory or policy. They found it through lived experience. Years of normalizing stress. Years of unhealthy coping getting brushed off as “just part of the job.” Years of not realizing how much damage was piling up until something finally cracked.

We talk about what changes when help comes from people who actually get it. Peer support that feels like a real conversation. Crisis lines answered by first responders. Training that happens before someone hits rock bottom, not after.

Mike shares how teaching suicide prevention later saved a life he never expected to reach. Scott talks about the moment he realized slowing down was not weakness, it was survival.

This episode is about breaking stigma, building support that lasts, and proving that taking care of first responders doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be human.

If you’ve ever wondered what real mental health support could look like in this profession, this episode shows you.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

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In this episode, I’m joined by Justin Atherton for a conversation every first responder and leader needs to hear.

Justin spent twenty years in law enforcement as a SWAT breacher, detective, and training lieutenant. But it was a nine-week internal affairs investigation and the identity crisis that followed that nearly broke him. That season forced him to confront a truth many of us avoid: I am not the job. The job is not me.

We talk about how internal stress, administrative processes, and isolation often cause more damage than the calls themselves. Justin shares how shame, silence, and powerlessness can quietly erode emotional regulation and leadership if they go unaddressed.

Justin introduces his WAVE Method, a framework built on statement analysis that shows how our words reveal our level of commitment, avoidance, and accountability. We explore how language impacts trust, leadership, and follow-through and why emotional intelligence, literacy, agility, and resilience matter more than rank.

Episode 141 is about accountability without self-punishment, leadership without ego, and learning to hear what you’re really saying to yourself and others.

🎧 Listen to Episode 141 of After the Tones Drop.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

Episode 140: It Takes 15 Years to Get 15 Years – Cinnamon’s Sobriety Anniversary Solocast

Fifteen years ago, my life split into a before and an after.

In this deeply personal solocast, I’m marking 15 years of sobriety and reflecting on what time alone does not teach you, and what staying and doing the work slowly, humbly, and honestly does. This episode isn’t a highlight reel. It’s a conversation about what really changes over long-term recovery, and what doesn’t.

I talk about the early years when I wanted peace, clarity, and joy immediately, and how I misunderstood what time was supposed to give me. I share why sobriety by itself doesn’t fix character, heal relationships, or make you emotionally safe for other people, it just exposes what’s already there. Growth comes from responsibility without shame, learning from mistakes instead of living inside them, and choosing to stop waiting for someone else to fix what hurt you.

This episode is for anyone at day one, year one, year five, or year fifteen. For the people who are sober and still wondering why it feels hard some days. For those learning the difference between fault and responsibility, between accountability and self-punishment. I share how relationships change, why some people stay and others don’t, and what it means to build a life rooted in honesty, boundaries, and self-respect.

You’ll hear about the slow work of rebuilding trust, letting go of resentment, and accepting consequences without becoming bitter. About collecting evidence through lived experience that doing things differently actually leads somewhere better.

If you’re early in your journey, hear this clearly: you are not behind. If you’re years in and still learning, that means you’re doing it right.

You can’t shortcut wisdom. You earn it by staying.
 One honest day at a time.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

Episode 139 | Doug White on Accountability, Leadership, and the Cost of Avoidance

In this episode of After the Tones Drop, I sit down with Doug White for a conversation that isn’t comfortable, polished, or performative and that’s exactly why it matters.

We talk about accountability in a culture that often rewards avoidance. About leadership that looks strong on the outside but collapses when it’s not rooted in moral courage. About vulnerability that isn’t about oversharing or emotional display, but about taking ownership of your choices, your impact, and your healing.

Doug challenges some of the narratives we hear a lot in trauma spaces. That pain explains behavior, but it doesn’t give us a lifetime pass to stay stuck. That crying doesn’t make you weak, but refusing responsibility does. And that real leadership, whether in uniform or out of it, starts with integrity, not rank.

This episode is for first responders, veterans, leaders, and anyone who’s tired of surface-level conversations about healing. We talk honestly about identity, victimhood, personal responsibility, and what it actually takes to move forward without minimizing what you’ve been through.

If you’re looking for motivation, this might not be it.
If you’re looking for truth, accountability, and a path toward real change, this conversation will meet you there.

🎧 Listen to Episode 139 of After the Tones Drop.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

January tells us to reinvent ourselves.
Your body tells a different story.

In this New Year’s solocast, Cinnamon pushes back on the pressure to start strong, fix everything, and become someone new just because the calendar flipped. January was never meant to be a season of blooming. It’s a season of rooting, resting, and rebuilding under the surface.

This episode is for anyone who feels behind before the year even starts. Especially first responders who are already running on disrupted sleep, chronic stress, and a nervous system that never fully stands down.

Cinnamon breaks down why January motivation so often fails, how cultural pressure sets us up for shame, and the difference between survival years and growth years. She offers a more humane way forward. One built on minimum viable habits, honest self-assessment, and small choices that actually stick.

You’ll hear why comparing yourself to who you “should be” is a losing game, how to stop judging a survival season by growth-year standards, and what it really means to move forward without burning yourself out.

Cinnamon also shares two simple end-of-year rituals you can use anytime. A burn list to release what you’re done carrying, and a 90-day letter to set intentions without overwhelming yourself.

This isn’t about reinvention.
 It’s about becoming.
 Gently. Intentionally. In your own time.

If January feels heavy, slow, or quiet, this episode will help you understand why and remind you that nothing is wrong with you.

Episode 138 of After the Tones Drop is available now.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

Christmas Eve is supposed to feel magical. For a lot of first responders, it just feels flat.

In this solocast, I’m talking about the numbness that so many of you experience during the holidays and why it doesn’t mean you’re broken, ungrateful, or doing something wrong. 

You’ll hear practical, doable tools you can use right now, including:
 • How to use micro presence to gently reconnect without forcing feelings
 • A simple pre entry reset to help your nervous system shift before family time
 • How to adjust expectations so connection replaces perfection
 • When taking a break is healthy regulation, not avoidance
 • Why small moments of real presence matter more than one perfect day

If the holidays feel heavy, quiet, or emotionally distant this year, this episode is for you. You are not broken. You’re human. And sometimes the most honest thing you can do is show up for one real moment at a time.

🎧 Listen to Cinnamon’s solocast now.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

Episode 136: From Crisis to Connection with Brad Shepard

What happens when the crisis isn’t on the call sheet, but inside you?

In this episode of After the Tones Drop, I sit down with retired Oklahoma Highway Patrol Captain Brad Shepherd for one of the most honest conversations we’ve had about what it really takes to survive the weight of this work.

Brad shares his journey through decades of law enforcement, building peer support teams, and eventually facing a personal reckoning marked by alcoholism, betrayal, loss, and isolation. We talk openly about the realities first responders don’t often say out loud. The cumulative toll of trauma. The danger of believing you have to carry it all alone. And the moment when surrender becomes the only way forward.

This conversation dives deep into the power of surrender, storytelling, and community. Brad explains how vulnerability became a lifeline, how peer support and recovery spaces quite literally saved his life, and why telling your story can open the door for someone else to find hope.

If you’re a first responder, a veteran, or someone who loves one, this episode is a reminder that strength isn’t found in silence and healing doesn’t happen in isolation.

You are not alone. And your story matters.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

Episode 135: After the Tones Drop with Michael Slocum of Frontline Freedom

In this inspiring episode, Cinnamon welcomes Michael Slocum—active Lieutenant with the Painesville Police Department and a leader at Frontline Freedom: Adventure Therapy. Michael shares how his passion for the outdoors and adventure has become a powerful tool for relaxation, resilience, and healing for himself and fellow first responders.

Discover how Michael’s journey through law enforcement led him to embrace backpacking as a way to decompress, reconnect, and process the unique stresses of the job. He discusses the mission of Frontline Freedom, a nonprofit dedicated to providing basically free outdoor adventure experiences for first responders and veterans, and how these trips help participants break out of routine, build confidence, and rediscover joy beyond the badge.

Packed with practical insights, stories from the trail, and a look at how adventure therapy is making a difference, this episode is a must-listen for anyone interested in wellness, leadership, and the power of nature to transform lives.

Learn more or get involved: frontlinefreedom.org

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us a text

In this deeply personal episode, host Cinnamon is joined by her friend and colleague, Lieutenant Kenny Schroeder, to explore the profound impact of losing someone to suicide within the first responder community. Together, they share their intertwined stories of grief, vulnerability, and the emotional aftermath of Cinnamon losing a client and friend.

Cinnamon opens up about the self-doubt, guilt, and questions that haunted her after her client’s death, while Kenny offers the perspective of a peer supporter and witness to her pain. Their candid conversation breaks down the myth that helpers are immune to grief, and highlights the importance of support, compassion, and honest dialogue in the healing process.

Listeners will hear about the ripple effects of suicide, the challenges of carrying on in the face of loss, and the lessons learned about letting go of blame and embracing humanity. This episode is a powerful reminder that no one is alone in their struggles, and that hope and healing are possible—even in the darkest moments.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses suicide and its emotional impact. Please take care while listening, and reach out for support if needed.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop has been presented and sponsored by Whole House Counseling. After the Tones Drop is for informational purposes only and does not constitute for medical or psychological advice. It is not a substitute for professional health care advice diagnosis or treatment. Please contact a local mental health professional in your area if you are in need of assistance. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information.

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat):

• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE