After The Tones Drop

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What do you do when resentment makes perfect sense, but it is also slowly poisoning your life?

In this episode, I sit down with Rick Cheatham for a raw conversation about forgiveness, bitterness, grief, and what it takes to heal when life has taken a blowtorch to everything you thought you knew. Rick shares how loss, trauma, addiction, and anger shaped his story, and why he eventually realized that holding onto resentment was costing him more than the original wound.

This is not a soft conversation about “letting it go.” It is a real one. We talk about the poison of bitterness, the prison of victimhood, and the kind of forgiveness that is not about excusing what happened, but refusing to let it define who you become.

If you have ever been hurt deeply, betrayed badly, or found yourself stuck in anger you know is eating you alive, this episode will hit home.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

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What if the worst day of your life became the thing that clarified your purpose?

In this episode of After the Tones Drop, Cinnamon sits down with Michael Chase for a conversation about trauma, service, and the kind of perspective that only comes from living through the unthinkable. Michael shares how surviving the Boston Marathon bombing changed the course of his life, deepened his understanding of what it means to protect others, and ultimately shaped his mission as a school resource officer and advocate for trusted adult relationships. 

This is not just a story about being in the wrong place at the wrong time. It is about being in the wrong place at the right time, and what happens when pain gets turned into purpose. Michael opens up about the bombing, the aftermath, his long road into law enforcement, and why he believes the strongest form of school safety starts with connection, not just control. 

If you care about first responder mental health, trauma recovery, school safety, or the life-changing impact of one trusted adult, this episode will stay with you.

Listen now: https://www.afterthetonesdrop.co/Michael-Chase

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

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In this episode, I sit down with retired law enforcement officer and Protecting The Guardian founder Mark DiBona for a conversation about what really pushes first responders to the edge.

We talk about accumulated trauma, bullying, alcohol, isolation, and the dangerous myth that suicide is always about one bad call. Mark shares his story with the kind of honesty that makes you stop and listen. Not because it’s polished, but because it’s real.

This episode is about survival, speaking up, and the hard truth that sometimes what breaks people is not the incident everyone can point to. It’s everything that came before it.

Listen now:
 https://www.afterthetonesdrop.co/mark-dibona

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

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In this episode, I sit down with Dena Ali for a conversation that goes way beyond “one bad call.”

We talk about firefighter suicide, peer support, belonging, bullying, leadership, and the culture inside first responder organizations that either helps people heal or quietly pushes them further into shame and isolation. Dena shares how her own difficult season led her into this work, why peer support became such a critical part of the solution, and why she now believes the real goal is bigger than training a few designated people.

This episode is about what actually keeps first responders alive. Not just after the hard calls, but in the everyday culture of the job.

Listen now:
 https://www.afterthetonesdrop.co/dena-ali

You can get Dena Ali's book Hope Out of Darkness: A Guide to First Responder Mental Wellness Here: https://a.co/d/00cKPzX4

Another book Dena recommends for Team Culture is The Culture Code: The Secrets of Highly Successful Groups by Daniel Coyle Here is the link to buy it: https://a.co/d/02eW1zws

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

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Firefighters know how to maintain equipment. The question Ryan Provencher raises in this episode is simple and uncomfortable. Why don’t we apply that same mindset to the people wearing the gear?

In this conversation, Ryan and I talk about firefighter wellness as an operational issue, not a side project. We get into health, fitness, sleep, recovery, mental health, and why departments that want strong crews need to start thinking beyond rigs, tools, and turnout gear. Because when the firefighter behind the gear is running on empty, the whole system pays for it.

This episode is about readiness, sustainability, and the reality that healthy firefighters are not a luxury. They are the standard we should have been building all along.

Listen now:
https://www.afterthetonesdrop.co/ryan-provencher

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us Fan Mail

What happens when the trauma you carry didn’t start with you?

In this episode of After the Tones Drop, Cinnamon sits down with Dave Freeman for a conversation that moves through childhood violence, emotional survival strategies, suicide ideation, and the moment that changed everything.

Dave grew up in a home where fear was constant. A violent alcoholic father. A mother whose behavior could shift from loving to explosive without warning. As a child, he learned early how to survive by shutting everything down emotionally. He built what he calls “the vault” in his mind where every feeling, every memory, and every piece of pain was locked away.

That strategy worked for decades. Until it didn’t.

Like many first responders, Dave became extremely skilled at masking his internal struggle. No one at work knew what was happening beneath the surface. But behind closed doors, anger, isolation, and hopelessness took over.

At one point Dave had already developed a detailed plan to end his life. It felt logical. Organized. Almost clinical.

Then one conversation changed the trajectory of his life.

In this episode Dave shares how programs like Save A Warrior helped him understand something many first responders never realize: trauma responses are learned, not permanent personality traits.

When those trauma responses begin to heal, people often look like entirely different individuals.

But the truth is they are finally becoming themselves.

This episode is about childhood trauma, generational patterns, anger as emotional armor, and the ripple effect that happens when even one person chooses to heal.

Because helping one person is never just helping one person.

🎧 Listen to the full episode
 https://www.afterthetonesdrop.co/dave-freeman

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

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Sleep is not a luxury, and for first responders, poor sleep is not just inconvenient. It can impact mood, decision-making, trauma recovery, physical health, and even long-term brain function. 

In this conversation, Cinnamon sits down with Dr. Leah Kaylor, licensed clinical and prescribing psychologist and the FBI’s sleep expert, to unpack what happens when responders run on empty and why sleep has to be part of the resilience conversation.

From sleep deprivation and sleep apnea to nightmares, alcohol, shift work, and sleep medications, this episode is packed with practical truth and hard-hitting science. If you have ever said, “I’ll sleep when I’m dead,” this one may change your mind.

🎧 Listen now: https://www.afterthetonesdrop.co/biohacking-sleep

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us Fan Mail

What does it take to find peace after chaos?

In Episode 147 of After the Tones Drop, Cinnamon sits down with Kelly Cheatham for a deeply honest conversation about marriage, addiction, grief, and the long road to personal healing.

Kelly shares what it was like to grow up in a household where silence and explosive conflict were the only communication styles she knew. Those patterns followed her into adulthood and into her marriage to a firefighter, where she eventually found herself confronting betrayal, addiction, and the painful realization that she had never learned how to use her own voice.

Instead of walking away from the chaos, Kelly chose to rebuild herself. She went back to school, learned to set boundaries, and began the slow work of changing how she communicated, not only with her husband but with herself.

Then life delivered an unimaginable blow. Kelly and Rick lost their son Michael to murder.

In this episode, Kelly speaks openly about the devastating grief that followed, including months of overwhelming sorrow and the difficult process of learning how to keep living after such profound loss. She shares how crisis can strip life down to its essentials and how choosing honesty, authenticity, and courage helped her rediscover peace on the other side of unimaginable pain.

This conversation explores the reality many first responder families quietly live with: the emotional toll of the job, the strain it can place on relationships, and the resilience it takes to navigate addiction, loss, and healing together.

Kelly’s story is not one of perfection. It is a story of perseverance, growth, and the quiet strength it takes to keep moving forward.

Sometimes peace is not found by avoiding the mayhem, but by learning how to walk through it.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us Fan Mail

This episode is not a highlight reel. It’s a reckoning.

I sit down with retired firefighter and transformational speaker Rick Cheatham and his wife Kelly for a raw, two-hour conversation about addiction, loss, paralysis, forgiveness, and what it actually means to commit when walking away would be easier.

Rick shares the long road from sexual addiction and self-destruction to purpose and service. Kelly shares what it costs to stay, to set boundaries, and to become emotionally safe without abandoning herself. Together, they break down Rick’s “S.T.A.R.T. Where You Stand” framework, a fire-ground approach to rebuilding a life and a marriage from the exact place it’s burning.

This episode is about choosing responsibility over resentment, courage over avoidance, and forgiveness as a form of survival. It’s about rebuilding from reality, not fantasy.

If you’ve ever thought, “I don’t even know where to begin,” this conversation is for you.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE

Send us Fan Mail

In this episode, Cinnamon sits down with former Louisville Metro Police Sergeant John Mattingly to talk about what really happened the night of March 13, 2020, and what it cost him to survive it.

John was shot in the femoral artery while serving a warrant that was part of a larger drug trafficking investigation. He nearly bled out on the hallway floor. But the physical wound wasn’t the hardest part.

What followed was something far worse.

A national narrative formed almost overnight. One that erased facts, ignored evidence, and turned John and his family into targets. Death threats. Forced relocation. Zero support from leadership. An FBI investigation shut down for “optics.” A career stripped away. A five-year-old son afraid someone would come through his bedroom window.

John shares what the public was never told.

This was not a no-knock warrant. Officers knocked and announced.
 They had the correct address.
 Breonna Taylor was not asleep in her bed.
 John was shot first.
 And the investigation itself was rooted in political corruption tied to property acquisition.

This conversation is not about sides. It’s about truth.

It’s about what happens when media narratives replace facts.
 When politics override justice.
 And when a 21-year veteran is abandoned by the very system he served.

John now travels the country telling his story so other officers don’t walk blindly into the same betrayal, and so the public learns to slow down, ask better questions, and look beyond headlines.

This episode is raw. It’s uncomfortable. And it matters.

Because behind every viral story is a human family paying the price.

Listen with an open mind.
 Question what you think you know.
 And remember there are real people on the other side of every narrative.

DISCLAIMER:
After the Tones Drop is shared for educational, informational, and entertainment purposes. It does not provide therapy, medical advice, diagnoses, or treatment, and listening does not create a therapist-client relationship. The views expressed are those of the individual speaking. If you need support, please reach out to a qualified professional or emergency services in a crisis. You can also visit our shows resources page for an abundance of helpful information. 

ATTD Music Credits (Music from #Uppbeat): 

•  Our theme music is Intentions by Abby Noise, licensed through Upbeat
•  https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/adventure-is-calling License code: ANJCYVHRMULSNKQR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/vens-adams/rise-of-the-hero License code: H4WTAGJZIXZCM8DM
• https://uppbeat.io/t/yeti-music/homewardLicense code: KO7FZAIJBAEAJLKE
• https://uppbeat.io/t/sonda/the-heart-grows License code: KAID0ITO96GJZAPS
• https://uppbeat.io/t/philip-anderson/achievement License code: XZ4PMCKHW94GUR74
• https://uppbeat.io/t/tobias-voigt/nexus
  License code: MVMDRGHKHTJRABVR
• https://uppbeat.io/t/paul-yudin/breakthrough
  License code: FYPM3OJF0NQ4OGTE