It's [after, but recorded before] the 4th of July!! And you know what that means. When you're here, you're family! I ain't talkin' 'bout no Olive Garden. I'm talkin' 'bout a cousin roundtable. Cousins who come from the mean streets of... San Diego, Portland, and Cherry Valley. You, my friend, do not have to subject yourself to your fears tonight. Disregard your night frights and hatred of cults. You're going to step out onto the mezzanine, give yourself a milk bath, and listen to this podcast. If you ask me, it can be enjoyed like a European 6-course meal or like a lonely Paris dinner. Either way you win.

Fly freaky foursome Friday! Just kidding. We recorded this on a Thursday. And that's all I have to say about this episode, because after this one there are no more words...

"I love Orgy... the band." - Literally the (almost) opening words to the episode. Why would you not listen? So this episode turned into a reminiscing of X-Files for a while, but with our friends Jon and Bill, it's wayyy awesome. We get down and dirty with the memories without even turning our rotary dials or flipping through an Encyclopedia Brittanica. But, you know, just come and learn the how's: how to eat grapefruit, how to refer to carbonated beverages, and how to spell words that you'll never use. Special TRL mention toward the end. Our treat to you.

Special guest alert!! Bet you can't guess his name by this title. Yeah, okay. It's Liam. We sit on the precipice of the black hole that is Rockford, get into our vessel, and time travel back to ye good old days. And by the way, one of us is wearing pizza. Obviously, this makes one of us the winner of the podcast. But I digress... Liam - from Hotshitshotglassworks - brings us into the world of glassworking, and it is legitimately fascinating to hear about and look at (and use if you're so inclined). So if you don't want us to personally come to your house and flick tiny paper bullets at you, you'll listen. Besides, Hayley finishes her beer before Dave so you'll hear that miracle take place.

...Featuring Eric & Rachel Johnson! What what! So imagine you're floating in a sea of Benedict Cumberbatches. You ponder what moniker to replace your name with but stop to have a Lawnmower Saison on the way. All of a sudden Ke$ha is out the gate presuming to goad you into some midnight Uncle Nick's. You stop into the bathroom to expel your limejuice pee and wake up to find that you're actually in a gum tree. And you're Britney. Bitch. ...And that's the episode!