Turn us up. Turn us out. But don't turn us on. Or don't turn us off. Because we are turned on. Or... Yeah. This week features sexbots, mistaking men for ladies, a comparison of the hottest instruments (helpful tip: no flutes allowed), and probably way too much butt talk. As you listen try to control yourself, because we may be too hot to handle. Or for you classical flute players: too hot to Handel. Yeah I'm done.

Cats are great and cats are fine. Cats are my favorite valentine. You may think that they are furry, but you'd better pet them in a hurry. If you don't, they will meow. Check out this sweet episode now. P.S. This is a late Valentine's Day episode. It's about cats. And you might learn to punch a bitch.

It's a new year and we have a new laziness about putting up our podcasts. Just kidding. We've always been lazy about putting up our 'sodes. Well, this is a new year, new season, and... new guest! Kevin is our favorite barista at Larry's Parkit, and he delivers the goods. We talk about farts and stuff. But hey: speaking of a new (old) lazy for the new year, I'm just gonna call this episode description done-zo! Happy late new year and here's to a new season of garbage and ignoring topics!

Hey, we actually decided to talk about garbage on our podcast entitled "After We Take Out the Garbage"!! What happens now? Do we implode? Do we turn into human piles of trash? Do we devolve into a blathering group of siren impersonators? You'll never know unless you listen. But can we all agree on a few things here? Cat pee trumps rat pee, leaves are stupid, and turkeys are jerks. There, I said it. We all thought it. That's what we're here for.

Hello. It's been a minute, but we're back and ready to rumble. We're going zero to crunk in less than 60 minutes. We're making dreams come true like a first boob touch. You get the idea. "What is so special that you had to wake me from my podcast apathy?" you ask. Well our good friends Steve and Kristyn obviously! Steve is the founder and active expert of Chicago Retro Gamer (www.ChicagoRetroGamer.com), and Kristyn is a karaoke superstar who is basically besties with Dave Grohl. Just listen. This one goes down like a good whiskey soul burn.

Tacos. Sleek, sexy, and elegantly designed for your pleasure. We'll make this short and sweet. This episode's got taco-talk, death, and beer. And it's all on the web just for you! Hot chachacha!!

Not just one Eric, but TWO Erics. Imagine the possibilities. Now stop imagining and listen! Unless you're trying to taste of course. Because that's a thing. This episode is heavy on beer and booze talk so we may have broken the record for longest Good For The Gut segment. Trust me though: it's worth it. During the course of this episode you may catch a red beard infection or you may pop a relaxation boner. Two things that will impress two Erics - or at least not scare them off, because we're looking at a possible AWTOTG Gunpowder Edition in the future! ...The end or To Be Continued??

Holy crap Wisconsin has some cold, wet holes. And we entered one! This episode is a real learning experience. Learn about your body's cleavage. Learn things about Hayley that are TMI. Learn about how your greasy ass nose can save your beer. But most importantly learn to love yourself. Just kidding. Learn to love octopi. But fuck turkeys. If this doesn't entice you, just know that if you stick around 'til the end you will hear the best joke. Or at least it'll be good enough to impress your friends.

Stop everything you're doing and listen to this episode! And do it like it's your... HOBBY. Get it? Because that's the topic tonight! If you've been listening for the last couple of years, you might remember our friends "picture-y" Chris and "cheesy" Ryan. Well they're back to talk disc golf, gambling priests, poopervisors, and nacho bowling. During the course of this episode you will find yourself feeling sexy, hungry, awkward, and of course sexy again. You might even find yourself inspired by the end.

So this podcast is a whopping 2 weeks late! Sorry... we were dealing with the fallout of the Great Basement Flood of 2017 in the interim. Don't you worry though. This one features returning friend Bill as well as new friends Jon and Matt. We talk Cloverfield, Myspace, mosquitos, and other riveting topics. You might say you'll get your $8.99's worth listening to this episode. Just don't sit around any exposed film. We wouldn't want burning up or anything... Although this episode is already smoking hot! Sorry about that. But don't you want to know why Bill says, "Poor little doggie. Doesn't have her flower?"