Marvel at the fidelity of Brandon Walsh: it's taken him two and a half episodes of flirting with Emma to lower his defenses...and pants: yes, Emma finally succeeds in seducing Brandon -- although, really, is "succeed" the right word here? Brandon is consumed with guilt, but Kelly still has no idea, perhaps because Kelly's still dealing with Dr. Monahan and his roving Monahands. With Kelly's time at the Clinic Clinic winding down and her attempt to address Dr. Monahan directly regarding his harassment, she tries to raise the matter with a superior at the Foundation Foundation; will right win out over rape culture? The answer won't surprise you. David continues intervening with his work colleague Ben, trying to reunite him with his estranged parents for the holidays and even listening well enough to Ben to figure out when he's making shit up to try to be noble (and escape David's attempts to fix his life). Donna -- truly Santa's brightest and orangest little elf -- does her best to get Noah into the Christmas spirit, as do Steve and Carly for Zack when one of his crappy friends tells him there's no Santa. Get out the stockings you probably just put back into storage and join us for our Again With This podcast on "Santa Knows"!

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Kelly has so much going on, you guys! She's still 50% of the workforce at the Clinic Clinic, still fending off advances and innuendoes from Dr. Creep -- and now, on top of all that, she's also coming out of retirement to model for Donna! She's just so busy that she doesn't notice how much Brandon and Emma are flirting with each other, and how little they're bothering to hide it! Oh well. One of Val's new initiatives for the club turns out to be a comedy night, and apparently the venue has such a bad reputation that even in one of the country's comedy capitals, the talent is so thin that Noah and Val have to recruit Steve to perform. Speaking of performing: Val's putting in a bravura turn as someone who wants to bone David, achieving the desired result of making Donna and Noah jealous. When not helping Val slam her bed frame into the wall, David starts his shameful car wash job, simultaneously starting his career as a homeless gay kid's guardian angel. We discuss it all in the latest Again With This podcast!

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Kelly has so much going on, you guys! She's still 50% of the workforce at the Clinic Clinic, still fending off advances and innuendoes from Dr. Creep -- and now, on top of all that, she's also coming out of retirement to model for Donna! She's just so busy that she doesn't notice how much Brandon and Emma are flirting with each other, and how little they're bothering to hide it! Oh well. One of Val's new initiatives for the club turns out to be a comedy night, and apparently the venue has such a bad reputation that even in one of the country's comedy capitals, the talent is so thin that Noah and Val have to recruit Steve to perform. Speaking of performing: Val's putting in a bravura turn as someone who wants to bone David, achieving the desired result of making Donna and Noah jealous. When not helping Val slam her bed frame into the wall, David starts his shameful car wash job, simultaneously starting his career as a homeless gay kid's guardian angel. We discuss it all in the latest Again With This podcast!

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David having stomped out of the club in a fit of pique and left Noah to deal with it, Noah gives himself a one-night trial run and decides that he sucks and hates it and that despite his differences with Val, he should take her up on her offer to return as manager. This complicates things for him and Donna, since Donna's not trying to get into another relationship with someone Val will be constantly needling her about -- though she's also sick of David's trifling ass freeloading all over her apartment eating her food and screwing up his new job at Khaki Nation. Brandon and Kelly are busy working on their relationships with new people: Kelly with Dr. Monahan at the Clinic Clinic, who's maybe not quite the saint she thought when he first met him; and Brandon with Emma Bennett, a hot new freelancer he's trying to recruit for the Beat. With Steve's paternity drama behind him, he can resume trying to have sex with Carly, though the demands on Carly's time are about to increase, meaning her availability for nooners may soon decrease dramatically. We discuss it all on our latest Again With This podcast!

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David having stomped out of the club in a fit of pique and left Noah to deal with it, Noah gives himself a one-night trial run and decides that he sucks and hates it and that despite his differences with Val, he should take her up on her offer to return as manager. This complicates things for him and Donna, since Donna's not trying to get into another relationship with someone Val will be constantly needling her about -- though she's also sick of David's trifling ass freeloading all over her apartment eating her food and screwing up his new job at Khaki Nation. Brandon and Kelly are busy working on their relationships with new people: Kelly with Dr. Monahan at the Clinic Clinic, who's maybe not quite the saint she thought when he first met him; and Brandon with Emma Bennett, a hot new freelancer he's trying to recruit for the Beat. With Steve's paternity drama behind him, he can resume trying to have sex with Carly, though the demands on Carly's time are about to increase, meaning her availability for nooners may soon decrease dramatically. We discuss it all on our latest Again With This podcast!

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David's mood dramatically improves as soon as he decides that his mysterious loan shark angel must be Donna...and predictably darkens when Val returns from her low-cut sweater-clad recon mission to tell David that the person he actually owes his fingers to is Noah. Then he tosses one of his hobo rags onto a space heater in his office and starts a fire, so things are bound to get better from there. Somewhere in the midst of his ongoing crisis, he finds time to try to drive a wedge between Noah and Donna by telling her that he's actually loaded, because you know how much people hate it when they're starting a relationship with someone and then find out they have a lot of money. ADA Mills continues putting pressure on Brandon to reveal the source of his article on Riggs, and Erica's finally warmed up to him enough to suggest a cunning plan. Steve continues impatiently enduring the wait for the results of his paternity test, with Rush eventually joining Carly in promising Steve that parenthood isn't as terrible as Steve thinks. And Kelly gets a new haircut! And a new assignment from the Foundation Foundation: unqualified administrator at the Clinic Clinic! We discuss it all in our latest Again With This podcast!

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David's mood dramatically improves as soon as he decides that his mysterious loan shark angel must be Donna...and predictably darkens when Val returns from her low-cut sweater-clad recon mission to tell David that the person he actually owes his fingers to is Noah. Then he tosses one of his hobo rags onto a space heater in his office and starts a fire, so things are bound to get better from there. Somewhere in the midst of his ongoing crisis, he finds time to try to drive a wedge between Noah and Donna by telling her that he's actually loaded, because you know how much people hate it when they're starting a relationship with someone and then find out they have a lot of money. ADA Mills continues putting pressure on Brandon to reveal the source of his article on Riggs, and Erica's finally warmed up to him enough to suggest a cunning plan. Steve continues impatiently enduring the wait for the results of his paternity test, with Rush eventually joining Carly in promising Steve that parenthood isn't as terrible as Steve thinks. And Kelly gets a new haircut! And a new assignment from the Foundation Foundation: unqualified administrator at the Clinic Clinic! We discuss it all in our latest Again With This podcast!

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Donna having kicked his ass out of the beach apartment over his cheque fraud, David decides he might as well also confess his financial idiocy to his father. Or, rather, to confess most of it: while Mel swiftly recommends filing bankruptcy for the sake of David's creditors and even gives David the money to replace what he stole from Donna, there's no line item in Mel's plan for paying back David's loan shark. And yet David is extremely blasé about keeping all his fingers intact, finding time to pack up his shit when his repayment is already a day late, and taking a morning off to go down to Donna's job and pick a fight over Val's report that she spotted Donna and Noah on the Martins' boat, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Brandon and Kelly resume looking for Erica now that she's stolen everything of value from the Walsh house and fled back to the streets, but things get more complicated when (a) they meet her roommate and fellow sex worker Julie, who may have problems so big even they can't solve them; and (b) Brandon publishes Erica's story -- concealing her name -- in the Beat and immediately starts getting harangued by the ADA and Kelly to reveal Erica's identity so the authorities can prosecute her pimp. Steve tries to get Carly to convince Jody not to have her baby, but when Carly defects to Team Jody, Steve realizes he has to stop running from his responsibilities.

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Donna having kicked his ass out of the beach apartment over his cheque fraud, David decides he might as well also confess his financial idiocy to his father. Or, rather, to confess most of it: while Mel swiftly recommends filing bankruptcy for the sake of David's creditors and even gives David the money to replace what he stole from Donna, there's no line item in Mel's plan for paying back David's loan shark. And yet David is extremely blasé about keeping all his fingers intact, finding time to pack up his shit when his repayment is already a day late, and taking a morning off to go down to Donna's job and pick a fight over Val's report that she spotted Donna and Noah on the Martins' boat, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Brandon and Kelly resume looking for Erica now that she's stolen everything of value from the Walsh house and fled back to the streets, but things get more complicated when (a) they meet her roommate and fellow sex worker Julie, who may have problems so big even they can't solve them; and (b) Brandon publishes Erica's story -- concealing her name -- in the Beat and immediately starts getting harangued by the ADA and Kelly to reveal Erica's identity so the authorities can prosecute her pimp. Steve tries to get Carly to convince Jody not to have her baby, but when Carly defects to Team Jody, Steve realizes he has to stop running from his responsibilities.

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The show that not only can't get back the opening-credits cast members for very occasional cameos but can barely even remember the characters they played ever existed is, in its eighth season, reallyimposing on the viewer's patience by bringing back Dylan............'s sister Eric for the first time since Season 5. And she's gone through some changes! Like, she's changed into a completely different actor! Also she's a streetwalker now. (Did Noley "Original Erica" Thornton quit the biz? Did her parents refuse to let her play a sex worker? Did the show just fail to meet her quote? We don't know; if you do, please tell us.) After Brandon and Kelly have a chance encounter with her at her corner, they embark upon a mission to rescue her from the life, whether or not she's actually ready or willing to go along with their plans. David still can't work money: literally at the moment Donna's opening her bank statement and discovering that her boyfriend embezzled from her, said boyfriend is at dinner with a loan shark getting five more figures into scary, illegal debt. Still wounded about Val's having two-timed him, Noah yells at her, starts a bar fight, and drunkenly tells Brandon that, actually, he doesn't really need to work on boats for the money because he is loaded -- not rich, but wealthy. Will Brandon be able to keep this secret from Val the sudden gold-digger? Finally, just as Steve is figuring out his responsibilities as someone developing a paternal relationship with a kid, some broad from his past that we've never seen before shows up with some big news. Well, actually, at the moment it's still just small news. But it's growing into bigger news every day.

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NOTES

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