Sassy's May 1991 quiz dares you to determine whether you're a big fat bore...but it could be that this is a more stressful prospect for a teenager than for a middle-aged person who's come to terms with liking TV and Cheetos. After comparing our own results, we move on to some of your latest calls on topics like how a recent vest makeover project worked out in real life, pro tips on Kool-Aid hair dye, gross things the male body is prone to, and much much more. Hit pause on The Doors and listen!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 Quiz: Are You A Big Fat Bore?

🎧 From The Hotline

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🏈 Extra Hot Great 582: "Is Chad Powers A Winner?"

🏟️ "Chad Powers Is Way Better Than It Has Any Business Being" at Cracked

School's about to end for summer, and Sassy is ready. It's got plaids for the bocce court. It's got swimsuits for...swimming. It's got tips for changing your hair color with a beverage........again. And it's got tons of historic inspiration if you want to make a BIG change to your look. It's also faking the news a little bit and of COURSE Neill is the offender there. Post up by the pool (indoors if you're not in a tropical zone) to hear about all this and tons more!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 Fashion Feature: Outside

🎧 Fashion Feature: Blue

🎧 What Next: Don’t Forget To Write

🎧 Beauty Feature: Forties

🎧 About Face

🎧 Sassy Ads

🎧 Diary: Dear Anne B.

🎧 Goodbye For Now

📸 Sandrene Van Slee on Instagram

👖 "Emily Ratajkowski Is The Latest Fan Of The Turned-Down Waistband" at Vogue Australia

👙 Jennie Garth in the blue bikini in Beverly Hills, 90210

👗 "Tulipa Sleeveless Stamp-Print Maxi Dress" at Neiman Marcus

📫 "Old British Postage Stamps Texture A-Line Dress" on Redbubble

📭 "Vintage 90s Womens Design Elements Colorful Postage Stamp Blouse M 6 8 Black" on eBay

👁️ "Kurlash" at Cosmetics And Skin

💋 "Remember Maybelline Kissing Potion & Other Flavored Lip Gloss From The 70s And 80s?" at Click Americana

🎶 1991 MusiCards Blog

👨‍🎨 Philip Burke on Instagram

🐻 Fat Bear Week at Explore

Pam is on assignment, but Dave and Tara are bravely carrying on without her. What Now brings us such items as the first news blurb Tara probably ever saw about the Texas mom who came up with a murder-for-hire scheme to advance her 13-year-old daughter's cheerleading career to the 1,000,000th update on reigning Sassiest Boy In America Ian Svenonius (LET IT END). Jane admits she can't be objective about R.E.M. generally and Out Of Time specifically, but at least she's right! The Doors is a five-dot pick we're dubious about; Paris Is Burning deserves not just the five dots it also gets but 10! 10! 10s across the board! Finally, we close on whether John Leguizamo proved to be One To Watch, and what associations we still have for Balthazar Getty beyond being an oil heir. If YOUR heroes have always been cowboys, you MUST listen.

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 What Now

🎧 Listen Up

🎧 Watch It

🎧 One To Watch

🎧 Feature: Balthazar Getty Contemplates The Whole Teen Idol Thing

🎧 Goodbye For Now

✌️ "How The V-Sign Came To Represent Victory, Then Peace" at the History Channel

📰 "Former ACLU Leader Ira Glasser Slams Organization's 'Progressive' New Agenda" at the New York Post

🗯️ "Free Speech Has Limits Because Speech Can Cause Harm" at the Online Hate Prevention Institute

💥 "Gloria Estefan On How A Life-Changing Accident Sparked A $42 Million Mission To Cure Paralysis" at CBS News

🥖 Paris Is Burning on HBO Max

🧊 "John Leguizamo Calls Dean Cain A 'Moron' For Joining ICE: 'What Kind Of Loser Volunteers' For That?" at Variety

🤠 My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys on PlutoTV

🥱 "Charlie Sheen Was Never That Interesting" at Cracked

It's May 1991, and Sassy knows exactly what your mom wants most for Mother's Day: you following her around the house quoting statistics about how bad school sucks in this country! When she tells you to give it a rest, you can learn about Kim Frey, a young woman living with HIV, or why you should consider making friends with boys. (It's not because they have amazing answers to the What He Said question about what they'd do if they were invisible, that's for sure.) Also: hay fever, plants, vitamins, deodorant, and more than you ever wanted to know about breast discharge! You're welcome!!!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

🦋 @ListenToSassy on Bluesky

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 Feature: How This Girl Lives With The AIDS Virus

🎧 Feature: She Says Guys Make Better Friends

🎧 Feature: You Spill It About Your Schools

🎧 Fiction: The Real World

🎧 Body Talk

🎧 On The Road: El Paso, TX

🎧 What He Said: What Would You Do If You Were Invisible?

🎧 Help

🎧 Stuff You Wrote

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🎧 Doxx Everything

🎧 I Don't Remember Why I Did This

📝 Buy Pam's book Notes To Boys on Bookshop

📸 Kim Frey's press photo on eBay

📔 Kim Bergalis's People cover

🪦 "The Angry Death Of Kimberly Bergalis" at Slate

🧛🏻 "How 'Vampire Facials' Infected Three Women With HIV" at BBC

💔 "First Love, Fatal Love" on Letterboxd

💓 "First Love, Fatal Love" mentioned in "'Lost'...And Found At The Library Of Congress" at Library Of Congress Blogs

👵🏻 Jeff Hiller's Actress Of A Certain Age at Simon & Schuster

👩🏼‍💻 Sharon Solwitz's website

💦 Notice about the cessation of marketing of PPA at DEA Diversion

💊 "Can You Get Diet Pill With Phenylpropanolamine In Europe?" at Womens Diet And Fitness

🏫 Coronado High School at Great Schools

🌮 "Iconic El Paso Restaurant Closes - Jaxon's Gone Forever" at Kiss El Paso

😥 "Fact Or Fiction?: Antiperspirants Do More Than Block Sweat" at Scientific American

🧠 "Does Aluminum Cause Alzheimer's?" at Healthline

📉 Meghann Lacko Kaplan on LinkedIn

With Pam out handling a family emergency (everything's okay now!), Dave and Tara bravely handle the Slumber Party on their own. After sharing their results from the "Are You Parent-Tolerant?" quiz, it's on to your calls: one serious one about Pam's massage story, then a lot of silly ones about: other places spooge has unexpectedly appeared; what to try if your nails are weak; that vulnerable feeling when you're wearing a romper and have to pee; and a TRULY horrifying tale of a restaurant trip gone awry. Prepare for an emotional roller coaster -- FOR REAL.

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

🦋 @ListenToSassy on Bluesky

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🎧 It Is April 1991

🎧 Quiz: Are You Parent-Tolerant

🎧 From The Hotline

🎧 Goodbye For Now

It's spring...but summer is just around the corner. Start dressing for summer in holiday-ready gingham and all white eyelet everything! We get a moment-by-moment report on the process of shooting a Sassy cover, starting with the model's birth. (No: seriously.) The staff is trying tights, ruining a scarf, moving offices, and so much more. Pull up your bloomers and listen!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

🦋 @ListenToSassy on Bluesky

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🎧 It Is April 1991

🎧 Fashion Feature: Wish You Were Here

🎧 Fashion Feature: Wearing Air

🎧 What Next

🎧 We Wear It

🎧 Making It: Build A Better Vest

🎧 Beauty Feature: Why This Face?

🎧 About Face

🎧 Zits And Stuff

🎧 Sassy Ads

🎧 Diary: New! New! New!

🎧 Say What

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🫟 Amy Sedaris's gingham guest room on Instagram

⛵️ Fantasy Lake Adventure Park

🧥 "Vintage Globe Men 34 NIOMEX Firefighter 2 In 1 Jacket Black Yellow Collar COAT" on eBay

🧑‍🚒 "Vintage Japanese Firechief Kimono with Belt Firefighter Black Red White" on eBay

🥾 "Women's National Park Chelsea Rain Boots" at Pendleton

🦵 DKNY Women's Opaque Coverage Control Top tights on Amazon

🪒 "Vintage Schick Personal Touch Razor With Deluxe Case New" on eBay

🧴 Le Lift Fluide at Chanel

🟤 Blake Brown Beauty

☀️ "1990 Sun In Hair 'With Silkenol' TV Commercial" on YouTube

🏢 "The History Of The Helmsley Building" at CitySignal

🕸️ Marjorie Ingall's website

🦋 Marjorie Ingall on Bluesky

Whose voice is described in this month's Listen Up as "vomity"? It's sure not Sting because Catherine CANNOT be objective about him. It's also not Debbie Gibson protégé Chris Cuevas, though we do have a lot of opinions about the little photo of him we get in What Now. We also discuss whether L.A. Story is still worth seeing and whether it includes a baby in a basket on the side of the freeway; rate the tracks on R.E.M.'s Out Of Time; and wonder whether Christina's piece on why going backstage at a rock show sucks is actually just a huge humblebrag. Give a big David Lee Roth-style scream: it's the April 1991 Pop Culture episode!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

🦋 @ListenToSassy on Bluesky

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🎧 It Is April 1991

🎧 What Now

🎧 Listen Up

🎧 One To Watch

🎧 Feature: I Hate Going Backstage

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🎧 Go Ahead

📅 Chris Cuevas and Debbie Gibson's "Someday" on YouTube

📓 The February 1991 Seventeen cover

💄 "Going For That Sassy Touch" from The Olympian at Newspapers

😎 "Why Is Olympia So Cool And Countercultural?" at r/olympia

🍯 R.E.M.'s "Me In Honey" on Spotify

🪦 Ray Davis on KeyWiki

💥 "Catastrophe" at Reb Jeff

🍑 The Dharma Bums in the 21st century

🥾 Sonic Youth's "Dirty Boots" on YouTube

🛌 Susanna Hoffs's "My Side Of The Bed" on YouTube

💀 "Billy Drago, 'Untouchables' Star, Dies At 73" on Variety

🫎 "'Northern Exposure' Revival With Rob Morrow In The Works At CBS" at The Hollywood Reporter

📸 Darren E. Burrows on Instagram

🧶 Darren E. Burrows on Etsy

🎸 "Soundgarden 1990-1991 All Access Tour Laminate Backstage Pass!" on eBay

The April 1991 issue lulls you into a false sense of complacency by burying its biggest bummer feature in the middle of the island, but then there it is: "They're Shooting Horses." DAMN, KAREN! (Spoiler: this is a problem the U.S. government still hasn't solved -- hope you were sitting down to read this.) Around it, we get Christina's embedded report from a Black debutante ball in Georgia; Margie's mini-profiles of 5 people in cool and important jobs, What He Said about dating an unpopular girl, It Happened To Me from a conflicted breast-reduction surgery patient, and a lot more. Content warning for the fiction story: it's about a girl with the OLDEST MOM IN RECORDED HISTORY -- 60!!!!!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

🦋 @ListenToSassy on Bluesky

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🎧 It Is April 1991

🎧 Feature: Inside A Black Debutante Ball

🎧 Feature: They’re Shooting Horses

🎧 Feature: 5 Jobs That Aren’t Lame

🎧 Fiction: Sixteen To Sixty

🎧 Body Talk

🎧 On The Road: Baltimore

🎧 What He Said: Would You Date A Girl Less Popular Than You?

🎧 Help + Help For Him

🎧 It Happened To Me: Boobs

🎧 Stuff You Wrote

🎧 Goodbye For Now

📆 The Wonder Years (2021) "Lads And Ladies And Us" at Fandom

💬 "Rough Draft" quote at QuoteFancy

🪧 "Rough Draft" banner on eBay

🐴 Wild Horse Outreach & Advocacy

🐎 "US Judge In Nevada Hands Wild Horse Advocates Rare Victory In Ruling On Mustang Management Plans" at the AP

👧🏻 Citizen's Committee for Children of New York

🤝 "NYANA To Close After Long Run Here" at Jewish Telegraphic Agency

☮️ PeaceAction

📚 Enid Harlow's new story collection Voices at Livingston Press

🤧 "How Fast Is A Sneeze Versus A Cough?" at Each Breath from the American Lung Association

👙 Title 9

⛴️ "A Tour Of Baltimore's Inner Harbor"

👕 "Best Vintage & Thrift Stores In Baltimore"

🤕 "Top 15 Misconceptions Of Self-Injury" at Cornell

🔨 Leonid Brezhnev at Alpha History

🤨 George Whipple

Are you a techno head? In 1991, that meant "Do you know how a computer works?" but also possibly "Can you drive stick?" This quiz is trouble and we've got objections. We've got NO objections to your latest calls about The Grateful Dead, looking like Ben Seaver, The Bridge On The River Kwai, and (of course) cuticles. March on in and listen!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

🦋 @ListenToSassy on Bluesky

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🧑‍💻 Visit our website ListenToSassy.com

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🎧 It Is March 1991

🎧 Quiz: Are You A Techno Head?

🎧 From The Hotline

🎧 Goodbye For Now

💦 "How I Might Have Just Become The Newest Urban Legend" at Pam's blog

🌴 Again With This Club campaign

It's March, and that means it's time to start morbidly obsessing on prom, up to and including having a dress rehearsal five days out. All the frippery that fills the special pull-out prom insert feels very un-Sassy, so we hope sponsor Tampax at least paid a truckload of money for both that and a half-reassuring, half-fear mongering insert about periods. (No, your tampon can't get lost inside you...but then again why would they even bring it up unless MAYBE IT COULD?!) Elsewhere, there are tips on nail care, a creative/non-dirty use for an odd sock, photos from Sassy's third birthday party, and more! Put on your pastelliest formalwear and listen!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

🦋 @ListenToSassy on Bluesky

📷 @ListenToSassy on Instagram

🧑‍💻 Visit our website ListenToSassy.com

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🎧 It Is March 1991

🎧 Fashion Feature: All In One

🎧 Fashion Insert: How To Have A Sassy Prom

🎧 About Face

🎧 We Try It

🎧 Zits And Stuff

🎧 Sassy Ads

🎧 Diary

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🎧 Crossroads

🧥 Website for Monic Richard, who shot "All In One"

🍌 "This List Of Period-Related Food Myths Is Straight-Up Bananas" at TheKitchn

🩸 Starter Kit For Using Tampons at TinaHealthCare

🌽 "CALS Student Laura Croal Serves On Panel With Vice President Gore" at University Of Wisconsin Madison's College Of Agricultural & Life Sciences News

👄 Tara's review of Big Mouth S08 at Cracked

🫦 Tara's interview with Big Mouth co-creators Jennifer Flackett, Andrew Goldberg, and Mark Levin at Cracked