It's summer, and everyone at Sassy is already too hot to work. Christina admits that What Now is kind of a flop -- she's even a month late mentioning Ian Svenonius's birthday! (It's June 1, in case you also want to mark your calendar for the most important event of the year.) One To Watch Jamie Walters, we can now agree, burned bright in his moment, but that his moment did not last long. And then the staff just foregoes Watch It, Listen Up, AND an entertainment feature, instead assembling an insert full of recommendations for what they're all going to be watching, reading, and doing in the summer of 1991. Which of them do we think you should listen to? Listen to US to find out.

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🎧 It Is July 1991

🎧 Feature: Her Sister Amy

🎧 Feature: Dump That Dude

🎧 Feature: Would You Like Some Fries With That Diploma?

🎧 Feature: Why You Liked Yourself Better When You Were 11

🎧 Fiction: Serenade

🎧 Body Talk

🎧 Help

🎧 Help For Him

🎧 What He Said: What’s The Most Horrid Thing You Ever Did To Your Sister?

🎧 On The Road: Cleveland, Ohio

🎧 It Happened To Me: Teen Mother

🎧 Stuff You Wrote

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🏡 Chapterhouse on Wikipedia

🌎 "The Overpopulation Myth And Its Dangerous Connotations" at The Sierra Club Washington State

🌍 "Beyond 8 Billion" at The Population Institute

⚙️ Simple Machines

👖 Jamie Walters's Levi's TV commercial

🧑‍🚒 "Over The Hills: I Was A Beverly Hills, 90210 Heartthrob And Engaged To An A-List Actress -- But I Gave Up Fame To Become A Firefighter" at The U.S. Sun

⚓️ Odyssey on YouTube

🐤 Adam Hann-Byrd's website

🚇 The International Pop Underground Convention on Wikipedia

🎂 "IPUC At 30!" at Chick Factor

😶 "Words In Your Face" on YouTube

📰 "Words In Your Face" review at the New York Times

💅 Cover Girl NailSlicks in Tawny Peach at Amazon

🎞️ "I Watch Slacker To Read Austin In The Original" at Places Journal

😝 Ho Ho Ho Ha Ha Ha Ha at Woolly Mammoth

🤡 "It's 1:30 AM, And A Clown Wants To Fix You" at the New York Times

The editors use an antique slur (sadly surging back to popularity) to describe a contributor's mentally handicapped sister, but let's not focus on that when the piece -- especially the photos it's built around -- is thoughtful and sensitive. Then, we can move on to why and how to dump a guy; no, taking you to the library isn't one of the reasons, though it does come up. Mike reports from the McDonald's training institute Hamburger University, where the sight of students and instructors actually caring about their careers in customer service alarms his apathetic Gen-X sensibilities. On The Road goes to Cleveland; female staffers' brothers confess the ways they tortured them as kids; a teen mother glosses over a LOT of what Happened To her; and more! You might want fries with this pretty early on, so sort that out before you hit play!

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🎧 It Is July 1991

🎧 Feature: Her Sister Amy

🎧 Feature: Dump That Dude

🎧 Feature: Would You Like Some Fries With That Diploma?

🎧 Feature: Why You Liked Yourself Better When You Were 11

🎧 Fiction: Serenade

🎧 Body Talk

🎧 Help

🎧 Help For Him

🎧 What He Said: What’s The Most Horrid Thing You Ever Did To Your Sister?

🎧 On The Road: Cleveland

🎧 It Happened To Me: Teen Mother

🎧 Stuff You Wrote

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🍔 "Michael Jordan McDonald's McJordan Commercial 1993" on YouTube

🎓 Hamburger University at The Best Schools

👦 The Boy Crisis at Warren Farrell's website

📰 "The 'Boy Crisis' Is Overblown" at the New York Times

🧠 Underestimated: The Wisdom And Power Of Teenage Girls by Chelsey Goodan at Simon & Schuster

✍️ Seth Kaufman Writer

🗺 Cleveland's Tower City Center

🌊 "Lake Erie Historical" at Cleveland Historical

📹 "Hastily Made Cleveland Tourism Video" on YouTube

🍛 No Kid Hungry

Just in case you haven't already picked out every bathing suit you're going to need for the summer of 1991, Sassy's bringing you one more fashion story on bikinis. Hope you like the way Bronwyn models them because there's very little variation in her poses! The issue also covers vaguely pan-Latin American looks, some kind of fairy tale beauty story, bandana and patchwork-y prints, and how to keep the sun's harmful rays off your precious skin. Sure, a deep tan sounds good now, but someday you'll be in your fifties and VERY aware of sun damage! TRUST US!!! All of this and so very much more awaits you in our latest episode!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

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🎧 It Is June 1991

🎧 Fashion Feature: Fiesta Forever

🎧 Fashion Feature: When Wet

🎧 What Next: Country Trip

🎧 Beauty Feature: Legend

🎧 About Face

🎧 We Try It: Protect Your Bod In The Sun

🎧 Zits And Stuff

🎧 Sassy Ads

🎧 Diary: One Way To Ask A Guy Out

🎧 Say What

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🔎 "My dad claims to have made a product. And I need help finding it" in r/find

💃 Leslie Bibb Credits Oprah For Her Big Break After Winning 1990 Modeling Contest That 'Opened Up A Whole World'" at People

📫 "Mail-Order America" at the New York Times

🥪 The Los Angeles Regional Food Bank's food pantry locator

Is "rotted" cooler slang than "rotten"? How "monotone" can Beat Happening's lead vocalist actually be? How does Christina rate the relative cuteness of Aleka's Attic, River Phoenix's band? Has the time come for a Toy Soldiers remake? Is it acceptable to call Winona Ryder "Noni"? These are but a few of the questions we answer in the June 1991 Pop Culture episode. We also have a few about Alek Keshishian, but he...probably shouldn't listen. You, however? You definitely should.

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

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🎧 It Is June 1991

🎧 What Now

🎧 Watch It

🎧 Listen Up

🎧 One To Watch

🎧 Feature: I Saw River Phoenix Brush His Teeth

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🎧 Pam 'Beaver' Ribon Is A Lot

🦠 Girl Germs 3 at the Internet Archive

😷 Girl Germs 4 at the Internet Archive

🍟 Dave's post about McDonald's packaging on Bluesky

🎶 Robert Downey Jr.'s song "Broken" on YouTube

😽 "Cat Lover Billy Corgan Is On The Cover Of 'Paws' Magazine Again" at Exclaim

🎢 Billy Corgan On A Roller Coaster on Instagram

🪖 Toy Soldiers on The Roku Channel

🎨 True Colors on Hoopla

🌱 A Tale Of Springtime on The Criterion Channel

👁️ If Looks Could Kill on Hoopla

👀 If Looks Could Kill on Again With Again With This [paid subscription required]

📹 Alek Keshishian's website

🎻 Aleka's Attic's song "Across The Way" from the PETA benefit album Tame Yourself on YouTube

🎵 Josh McKay on Wikipedia

☔️ Rain Phoenix on Wikipedia

🏠 Aleka's Attic on Wikipedia

🎸 "The Story Of River Phoenix And Aleka's Attic" at Bill DeYoung's website

🤠 Donate to the Central Texas Food Bank

Well, there's no way around it: the very first feature is about Black activism, written by a white author (Kim) who gets no help from her editor on how not to sound tone-deaf as she describes being judged by the color of her skin or feeling unwelcome in Black spaces. So let's quickly dispense with it and move on to the rest. Karen finds three couples to talk about their couplehood. Amy Turner -- who checks in from the present day, because she's Pam's friend IRL -- visits Antarctica. Everyone on staff shares their stress relief tips. Plus: foods that trigger headaches, Danielle from Niagara Falls quoting J.D. Salinger at Stuff You Wrote, Ian Ziering on dating girls his parents didn't like, how atheism Happened to this month's Me, and more! Draw a soothing bath and listen!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

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🎧 It Is June 1991

🎧 Feature: It’s A Black Thing

🎧 Feature: How To Be A Couple

🎧 Feature: Here It Is: The Last Clean Place On Earth

🎧 Feature: Our 26 Cheap And Effective Ways To Chill Yourself Ou

🎧 Fiction: Plucking Friends

🎧 Body Talk

🎧 What He Said: Would You Go Out With A Girl Your Parents Hated?

🎧 Help

🎧 Stuff You Wrote

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🎧 It Happened To Me: Atheist

⚖️ "Brooklyn Man Convicted In 1989 Murder Of Yusuf Hawkins Will Try To Prove His Innocence" at ABC News

🐧 "How The Number Of Guests Can Affect Your Antarctic Cruise" at Antarctica Travel Centre

💿 John Douglas - CD at Trashcan Sinatras

⛑️ Penguin Cold Caps

🍽️ "The Monster At The Dinner Table" at The Cut

Sassy's May 1991 quiz dares you to determine whether you're a big fat bore...but it could be that this is a more stressful prospect for a teenager than for a middle-aged person who's come to terms with liking TV and Cheetos. After comparing our own results, we move on to some of your latest calls on topics like how a recent vest makeover project worked out in real life, pro tips on Kool-Aid hair dye, gross things the male body is prone to, and much much more. Hit pause on The Doors and listen!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 Quiz: Are You A Big Fat Bore?

🎧 From The Hotline

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🏈 Extra Hot Great 582: "Is Chad Powers A Winner?"

🏟️ "Chad Powers Is Way Better Than It Has Any Business Being" at Cracked

School's about to end for summer, and Sassy is ready. It's got plaids for the bocce court. It's got swimsuits for...swimming. It's got tips for changing your hair color with a beverage........again. And it's got tons of historic inspiration if you want to make a BIG change to your look. It's also faking the news a little bit and of COURSE Neill is the offender there. Post up by the pool (indoors if you're not in a tropical zone) to hear about all this and tons more!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 Fashion Feature: Outside

🎧 Fashion Feature: Blue

🎧 What Next: Don’t Forget To Write

🎧 Beauty Feature: Forties

🎧 About Face

🎧 Sassy Ads

🎧 Diary: Dear Anne B.

🎧 Goodbye For Now

📸 Sandrene Van Slee on Instagram

👖 "Emily Ratajkowski Is The Latest Fan Of The Turned-Down Waistband" at Vogue Australia

👙 Jennie Garth in the blue bikini in Beverly Hills, 90210

👗 "Tulipa Sleeveless Stamp-Print Maxi Dress" at Neiman Marcus

📫 "Old British Postage Stamps Texture A-Line Dress" on Redbubble

📭 "Vintage 90s Womens Design Elements Colorful Postage Stamp Blouse M 6 8 Black" on eBay

👁️ "Kurlash" at Cosmetics And Skin

💋 "Remember Maybelline Kissing Potion & Other Flavored Lip Gloss From The 70s And 80s?" at Click Americana

🎶 1991 MusiCards Blog

👨‍🎨 Philip Burke on Instagram

🐻 Fat Bear Week at Explore

Pam is on assignment, but Dave and Tara are bravely carrying on without her. What Now brings us such items as the first news blurb Tara probably ever saw about the Texas mom who came up with a murder-for-hire scheme to advance her 13-year-old daughter's cheerleading career to the 1,000,000th update on reigning Sassiest Boy In America Ian Svenonius (LET IT END). Jane admits she can't be objective about R.E.M. generally and Out Of Time specifically, but at least she's right! The Doors is a five-dot pick we're dubious about; Paris Is Burning deserves not just the five dots it also gets but 10! 10! 10s across the board! Finally, we close on whether John Leguizamo proved to be One To Watch, and what associations we still have for Balthazar Getty beyond being an oil heir. If YOUR heroes have always been cowboys, you MUST listen.

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

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☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 What Now

🎧 Listen Up

🎧 Watch It

🎧 One To Watch

🎧 Feature: Balthazar Getty Contemplates The Whole Teen Idol Thing

🎧 Goodbye For Now

✌️ "How The V-Sign Came To Represent Victory, Then Peace" at the History Channel

📰 "Former ACLU Leader Ira Glasser Slams Organization's 'Progressive' New Agenda" at the New York Post

🗯️ "Free Speech Has Limits Because Speech Can Cause Harm" at the Online Hate Prevention Institute

💥 "Gloria Estefan On How A Life-Changing Accident Sparked A $42 Million Mission To Cure Paralysis" at CBS News

🥖 Paris Is Burning on HBO Max

🧊 "John Leguizamo Calls Dean Cain A 'Moron' For Joining ICE: 'What Kind Of Loser Volunteers' For That?" at Variety

🤠 My Heroes Have Always Been Cowboys on PlutoTV

🥱 "Charlie Sheen Was Never That Interesting" at Cracked

It's May 1991, and Sassy knows exactly what your mom wants most for Mother's Day: you following her around the house quoting statistics about how bad school sucks in this country! When she tells you to give it a rest, you can learn about Kim Frey, a young woman living with HIV, or why you should consider making friends with boys. (It's not because they have amazing answers to the What He Said question about what they'd do if they were invisible, that's for sure.) Also: hay fever, plants, vitamins, deodorant, and more than you ever wanted to know about breast discharge! You're welcome!!!

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

🖼️ Check out this episode's Visual Aids

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

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🎧 It Is May 1991

🎧 Feature: How This Girl Lives With The AIDS Virus

🎧 Feature: She Says Guys Make Better Friends

🎧 Feature: You Spill It About Your Schools

🎧 Fiction: The Real World

🎧 Body Talk

🎧 On The Road: El Paso, TX

🎧 What He Said: What Would You Do If You Were Invisible?

🎧 Help

🎧 Stuff You Wrote

🎧 Goodbye For Now

🎧 Doxx Everything

🎧 I Don't Remember Why I Did This

📝 Buy Pam's book Notes To Boys on Bookshop

📸 Kim Frey's press photo on eBay

📔 Kim Bergalis's People cover

🪦 "The Angry Death Of Kimberly Bergalis" at Slate

🧛🏻 "How 'Vampire Facials' Infected Three Women With HIV" at BBC

💔 "First Love, Fatal Love" on Letterboxd

💓 "First Love, Fatal Love" mentioned in "'Lost'...And Found At The Library Of Congress" at Library Of Congress Blogs

👵🏻 Jeff Hiller's Actress Of A Certain Age at Simon & Schuster

👩🏼‍💻 Sharon Solwitz's website

💦 Notice about the cessation of marketing of PPA at DEA Diversion

💊 "Can You Get Diet Pill With Phenylpropanolamine In Europe?" at Womens Diet And Fitness

🏫 Coronado High School at Great Schools

🌮 "Iconic El Paso Restaurant Closes - Jaxon's Gone Forever" at Kiss El Paso

😥 "Fact Or Fiction?: Antiperspirants Do More Than Block Sweat" at Scientific American

🧠 "Does Aluminum Cause Alzheimer's?" at Healthline

📉 Meghann Lacko Kaplan on LinkedIn

With Pam out handling a family emergency (everything's okay now!), Dave and Tara bravely handle the Slumber Party on their own. After sharing their results from the "Are You Parent-Tolerant?" quiz, it's on to your calls: one serious one about Pam's massage story, then a lot of silly ones about: other places spooge has unexpectedly appeared; what to try if your nails are weak; that vulnerable feeling when you're wearing a romper and have to pee; and a TRULY horrifying tale of a restaurant trip gone awry. Prepare for an emotional roller coaster -- FOR REAL.

🗒 Full episode notes can be found on this episode's page on our website

☎️ Call The Hotline! Leave your questions, comments and Sassy stories on the hotline at 720-SASSY-GO or record directly on our site

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🎧 It Is April 1991

🎧 Quiz: Are You Parent-Tolerant

🎧 From The Hotline

🎧 Goodbye For Now