Shortly before I got married, my husband now, said “Something you always need to remember is that verbal intercourse is just as important as sexual intercourse in a marriage.” I thought about that for long time. I share that same advice with young friends that have gotten married as well as some of my older friends that have gotten married in recent years.
Marriages based strictly on sex will not last. Marriage based strictly on conversation will not last either. All couples or most couples when first married love their intimacy and love getting to know each other’s bodies. No matter what their ages, each couple learns to enjoy and know the other completely as possible. However, they can’t know each other completely without talking to each other. You have to learn each other’s desires, dreams, hopes and fears. You have to time your minds to work together just as your bodies become one with each other.
God made men and women so that they would enjoy each other, love each other and grow with each other regardless of their age. When you are younger, you don’t think about what will happen as you grow older and your bodies change and maybe you don’t have that intimacy as often as you were.
If you are not careful, you can become frustrated with your partner. Women’s bodies go through more changes than a man. I’ve heard it said that a man’s sexual peak is from his late teens to late thirties and that a woman’s is from her late twenties into her fifties.
I think that no matter what your age and your sexual peaks are, if you love each other, you work through that and you work through those periods when you are both not maybe feeling the same about sex.
I love my husband and he loves me. We try to make sure we show each other love and tenderness and to make love as often as both of us are in the mood and able. Physical and medical issues as you get older effects love making and the frequentness of how often that happens. But I also know that when we were younger we still had those times when we were too tired, didn’t feel good or just wasn’t in the mood; probably not as often as now.
There is going to come that time, when verbal intercourse will be more often than the sexual intercourse. That is just a time thing, not because you don’t want to be intimate, but you may not be physically or medically able to make love.
That is marriage. You love each other, support each other and care for each other regardless of the need for being intimate. Being intimate is not just the sexual intercourse part. It is the touching, kissing, and hugging, snuggling and just being in each other’s arms.
My husband and I have deep conversations about all kinds of topics. We are constantly learning new things and sharing those things with each other. We promised each other 50 years along with our vows when we took them 15 years ago.
We work hard; we give 100% to our marriage. We have had some difficult times but we have had wonderful times as well. I’m his third wife and I told him I would only get married once and I made sure he was that once before we took those vows. We disagree but we never yell at each other unless we are in different parts of the house and need the other one.
I guess what I’m trying to say is a lot of people give up on their marriage and don’t fight to keep it. If you love someo
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Thanks,
Laura