In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome drag legend for over 30 years and star of The Sherry Vine Variety Show, the hilarious Sherry Vine. Sherry starts the conversation by admitting she rarely ever talks about her age because of the stigma involved. The three talk about their fears of aging and the different spin getting older can have in the gay community. They examine our country’s obsession with youth culture and the danger of getting validation from external sources. Sherry opens up about being on the dating apps, the agelessness of drag, and having sex with straight-identifying men. Matt, Alec and Sherry talk candidly about the struggles of aging and also share the joy of knowing yourself better and living your best life.

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In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec, and Matthew welcome Damien from Mean Girls, actor, writer, and host of the podcast Yass Jesus, Daniel Franzese. Daniel opens up about being a survivor of conversion therapy and shares his thoughts and feelings about why he put himself into treatment to change his sexuality. Daniel talks about how his psychologist convinced him that it was his mother’s fault he was gay because she was too accepting. Daniel shares how the character of Damien inspired him and in many ways changed his life. Alec, Matthew, and Daniel talk and laugh about accepting themselves, their experiences with religious upbringing, and living proudly as your authentic self.

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In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew welcome word famous drag queen, star of the hit show “UNHhhh” and host of the podcast The Bald and the Beautiful, the hilarious Trixie Mattel. The three have a fascinating conversation on the topic of elastic thinking, what exactly it means and how it can help us to heal. Alec and Matt share how they have overcome trauma in their own lives and the tools they’ve used to build personal resilience. Trixie opens up about her abusive childhood including the surprising story of where the name Trixie originated. Trixie also opens up about the generational and cultural trauma that impacted her upbringing and about being half Ojibwe and yet also feeling culturally white.

Trixie shares how her drag persona is her fun vessel that enables her to live the life she has always wanted- dressing up pretty and playing with easy bake ovens. Trixie’s raw honesty and biting humor make this episode a must-hear and she will inspire you with her strong belief that whatever happens to us, we all have the choice to become victims or become survivors and to empower ourselves to create a life we love.

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In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew have a fascinating conversation about near-death experiences and healing from trauma with drag legend for over 30 years, Miss Coco Peru. Alec and Matt open up about their own near-death experiences and how they have worked on healing themselves from early trauma. Miss Coco Peru shares the story of the harrowing accident that nearly took her life and how she was able to transform pain into power. Coco talks openly about how her relationship with her parents improved, her reaction to the bullying she endured evolved, and how she felt a renewed sense of strength from having survived the unthinkable. In this episode, you will learn about how to survive and thrive after trauma, the benefits of getting help when you need it, and most importantly, how to handle being upstaged by a snoring dog.

Coco Peru's social media:

https://www.facebook.com/misscocoperufans/

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In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew have a revealing and intimate conversation about self-identity with writer and producer of the Emmy-award winning show Transparent, Faith Soloway. Faith opens up about how the show is based on her own father’s transition later in life and yet is different than their personal story. Faith talks honestly about her own continuing ambivalence about whether or not she should have transitioned and reflects on how this struggle has impacted her life. Alec, Matthew, and Faith open up about their own journey with identity and how the conversation is evolving so rapidly that we often make mistakes. They discuss what to do when you misgender someone, reflect on having a non-trans person play the lead in Transparent, and talk through the challenge many have in accepting ambiguity and learning to be ok with not knowing. This episode is for anyone who identifies as transgender or questions their identity in any way feels less alone in their journey through life.

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Do you struggle dealing with loneliness? This episode of Hot Mess welcomes an Icon in the drag community, performer, actress, singer, DJ, and comedienne Lady Bunny. Hosted by comedian Alec Mapa and mental health expert Matthew Dempsey, the three talk openly and hilariously and share their personal experiences of feeling isolated and lonely. Alec opens up about his process of learning to accept being isolated, Matt shares his philosophy about why ok is the new thriving, and Lady Bunny calls out Alec for blowing her off. Lady Bunny also passionately shares about social media fronting, why talking on the phone is a lost art, and how we all have to navigate a wise return to socializing. In this episode, you will learn why it’s so important to get connected with our feelings of loss, how we can cope more effectively when we feel less connected and why reaching out to someone else and being vulnerable is as helpful to our health and wellness us as it is to our friends!

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In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew explore the fascinating topic of toxic relationships with the winner of Canada’s Drag Race and Alec’s co-host of the “Official RuPaul’s Drag Race Podcast” Priyanka. Alec dives into his sex and love addiction history and his pattern of being addicted to toxic relationships. Alec and Matt explore how Alec’s childhood experiences have impacted his love of the chase and how he has had to work to re-learn what kindness in relationships feels like. 

Priyanka gets real about her attraction to toxic partners and reflects on how her low self-worth has played a major role in the pain she has experienced in her relationships. Alec, Matt and Priyanka talk through how race, being gay, and feeling marginalized can shape a negative belief about ourselves and make us chase for approval and validation from others. 

Priyanka shares openly about the healthy relationship she is in now and her journey to accepting love in the way she deserves it! 

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In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, Alec and Matthew explore the topic of hustling for your self-worth with viral sensation from his food reaction videos, host of Cakealikes, and star of the Ellen Show, the hilarious Kalen Allen. Alec and Matt explore our tendency to tie our worth as a person to work and achievement. Both Matt and Alec open up about ending up depressed and depleted when they grasp for things outside of themselves to make them feel worthy.  

Kalen Allen shares that he has been a workaholic ever since he can remember. Kalen explores how trying to earn his mom’s love through his achievements and struggling with a lack of belonging as a black gay man contributed to his need to push himself so relentlessly. The three talk openly and laugh a lot about how Kalen became a viral sensation, toxic masculinity, generational trauma, the moment Kalen ended up in the fetal position on the floor of his bathroom, taking time to just be, and why Kalen feels such a strong need to be a role model for future young, black queer men.  

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https://www.facebook.com/thekalenallen/ 

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https://twitter.com/MJDempseyPsych

 

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In this episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey psychotherapist, Alec and Matt have a revealing and intimate conversation with creator and star of The Jinkx and DeLa Holiday Special and star of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 and RuPaul’s Drag Race All Stars Season 3, BenDeLaCreme. Alec opens up about how his “cracking up” led him to become the person he is today and Matt shares he’s been feeling down and isolated over the last year. The two talk about dealing with sadness and working to reframe difficult emotions and experiences in order to deal with them more effectively.

BenDeLaCreme talks openly about his struggles growing up-the unrelenting grief he felt after his mom died at age 13, his distant relationship with his father, the

pain of being bullied and beaten-up for being overweight and gay, and the depression and suicidal thoughts that he struggled with often. DeLa shares how she found drag at an early age and what the creation of DeLa means in her life and for her emotional well-being. DeLa shares her long and difficult journey to finally identifying the right mental health diagnosis and medication to treat her effectively.

Alec, Matt, and DeLa talk and laugh throughout the episode about their pain, struggles, the gift of therapy and the right medication, healing, and accepting and appreciating your whole complicated beautiful self.

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https://twitter.com/MJDempseyPsych

 

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You won’t want to miss this special episode of Alec Mapa: Hot Mess with Matthew Dempsey Psychotherapist, in which Matt and guest, SAG award-winning actor, singer, Broadway star, comedian and accidental Instagram Superstar, Tom Lenk have a vulnerable and hilarious conversation about a video Matt posted online that triggered shame for both of them. The episode starts with Alec and Matt exploring shame triggers in their own lives and how they compensate for feelings of self-loathing. Both Alec and Matt share personal stories of feeling intense shame in their lives and they explore the physiological and psychological impact of the experience of shame. 

Guest Tom Lenk then confronts Matt about a video Matt posted about his “Pretty Privilege” and Matt shares his regret and shame about the unanticipated negative response he got from his followers. Tom explores candidly why the video got him so “lathered up” and how it triggered in him feelings of not being attractive or good enough. The two have an exposing and vulnerable dialogue and work to understand each other’s perspectives and learn from what transpired. 

The three go on to talk openly and laugh often about the benefits of long-term therapy, transference, feeling left out, and learning to love yourself! 

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https://twitter.com/MJDempseyPsych

 

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