Alex once again wants to commit genocide over fast-food drive-through rudeness, Starbucks saves the planet by becoming 7-11, just admit it – you wouldn’t do a damn thing if America got invaded, Cuomo was secretly stacking bodies while basking in praise for his COVID response, the odds of a global apocalypse sadly decrease, and what’s with all these Russian-speaking Mexicans?

Alex goes full Gay Frog while Adrian tries to restore his faith in government, one man’s bioweapon lab is another man’s Wuhan, NeoCons should put their body where their mouth is, somebody should take away Biden’s hashtag privilege, IRS spends Billions on 1960’s computer system to audit the poor, and Vax pushing Florida pediatricians ask, “Yeah, but did they die?”

Alex leers lasciviously at leotards, Adrian’s personal broken window fallacy, Magnolia Thunderpussy just meant Russians should show Putin a good time, don’t shoot the reactors, news is now a felony in Russia – but still only a misdemeanor in US, Melinda throws Bill under the Epstein, and we discuss the upside of a global thermonuclear war.

The left learns citizens with assault rifles are a good thing, Adrian learns a better recipe for Molotov cocktails, Alex learns how to say “go f*** yourself” in Russian, the right fails to learn anything at all, police fail to learn Minority Report was a cautionary tale, and will we all learn a nuclear holocaust is best hope for humanity’s survival?

Alex recovers from Jazzercise, FDA executive admits it’s all about the Benjamins, the battle for Kyiv/Kiev may have just begun as Russia spins up her nukes, Hillary’s email server found in a file box at Mar-a-Lago and Trump’s ripped up documents found in her basement – or something like that, Epstein’s pimp didn’t kill himself either, and “Would you like to SuperSize your heroin?”

Alex keeps cool in travel hell, Weeble rapists in the Metaverse, robot dogs on the border, Fed plans to break the economy worse, Putin gonna start shootin, science shows we were right about COVID, ATF says they did actually make gun registry, CIA says they were spying on us all along, and DHS calls us terrorists for pointing all that out.

Enjoy some of the great segments of the Unattended Baggage Show with Alexander Snitker and Adrian Wyllie

Jeff Goldblum takes all Alex’s money, only sisters qualify for SCOTUS – stupid SOBs need not apply, Ender’s Game robot war with Russia and/or China more likely every day, government kills refuge animals because they might die otherwise, semen is not 5G compatible, Disney to release “Snow Latina and the seven little people,” and space octopuses are really a thing.

Olympians told to bring burners ‘cause Xi will be listening, three good reasons to distrust government and do heavy drugs, your face is the new 1040 form, apparently the Fed doesn’t know they already have a digital currency, a person did something to some people that may or may not have been terrorism, and Tom Cruise gets one step closer to Xenu.

Adrian mistaken for a bear, Alex is rollin’ tiny, Florida-style freedom branded authoritarian, record-breaking transgender swimmer finally beaten by another transgender swimmer, the Metaverse is gonna milk you, Army training to kick your anti-authority ass, Russia and US accuse each other of false flags…and they’re both probably being honest for once.