Alex wants to be an expat…but he’s really a cult leader, Adrian’s pet goatboy goes free, Easter Bunny saves America from unscripted Biden, may the blessing of St. Javelin be upon you, TN lawmakers go full Libertarian without knowing it, UK news hit piece on Slab City anarchy seems more like a travel brochure, sabotage and insurrection growing in Russia, and we’re now only about a week away from a nuclear war.

Alex has road rage over friendly motorists, Adrian is totally into reptilian orgies, Ukrainian missiles make Russian sailors wet, Putin fantasizes about releasing his big payload, Twitter tells Musk “no means no,” COVID has gotten so bad that you don’t even notice, Disney helps cops abuse the public, and America is a nation run by elderly dementia patients.

Alex may be losing 33% of his friends, Adrian thinks it’s actually 50%, Musk guarantees he won’t get Trumped on Twitter, Cali has most gun laws AND most gun violence – but fails to see the connection, FBI’s kidnapping plot fails to get any convictions, how Zelensky is becoming 21st Century Churchill and mainstream media says COVID conspiracy theorist were right all along.

Alex has $25 lobster mac ‘n cheese on Indian reservation, Adrian plays ‘No True Scotsman’ card, we hope that Trump and Hunter Biden share the same prison cell with Epstein’s guards watching them, Google founder helps to build Terminator army, Joe Biden’s dementia may actually save the world, and are Congressional coke-fuelled orgies ADA compliant?

Alex will grant you one favor on this the day of his “daughter’s” dance, Adrian discovers the fundamental flaw of humanity…then realizes his theory is fundamentally flawed, Magnolia Thunderpussy and Dodge Cruz grill Lawyers in Love, future Best Actress recipients likely men, we dig into Putin’s brain, and hopefully the giant solar flare is coming soon.

Alex once again wants to commit genocide over fast-food drive-through rudeness, Starbucks saves the planet by becoming 7-11, just admit it – you wouldn’t do a damn thing if America got invaded, Cuomo was secretly stacking bodies while basking in praise for his COVID response, the odds of a global apocalypse sadly decrease, and what’s with all these Russian-speaking Mexicans?

Alex goes full Gay Frog while Adrian tries to restore his faith in government, one man’s bioweapon lab is another man’s Wuhan, NeoCons should put their body where their mouth is, somebody should take away Biden’s hashtag privilege, IRS spends Billions on 1960’s computer system to audit the poor, and Vax pushing Florida pediatricians ask, “Yeah, but did they die?”

Alex leers lasciviously at leotards, Adrian’s personal broken window fallacy, Magnolia Thunderpussy just meant Russians should show Putin a good time, don’t shoot the reactors, news is now a felony in Russia – but still only a misdemeanor in US, Melinda throws Bill under the Epstein, and we discuss the upside of a global thermonuclear war.

The left learns citizens with assault rifles are a good thing, Adrian learns a better recipe for Molotov cocktails, Alex learns how to say “go f*** yourself” in Russian, the right fails to learn anything at all, police fail to learn Minority Report was a cautionary tale, and will we all learn a nuclear holocaust is best hope for humanity’s survival?

Alex recovers from Jazzercise, FDA executive admits it’s all about the Benjamins, the battle for Kyiv/Kiev may have just begun as Russia spins up her nukes, Hillary’s email server found in a file box at Mar-a-Lago and Trump’s ripped up documents found in her basement – or something like that, Epstein’s pimp didn’t kill himself either, and “Would you like to SuperSize your heroin?”