ALIEN THEORISTS THEORIZING

Amidst the whirlwind of digital revolutions and geopolitical machinations, the world has witnessed the emergence of a new class of weapons—those harnessing the very power of energy itself. Once relegated to the realms of science fiction and covert labs, these armaments, are now at the forefront of military arsenals, offering the promise of precision strikes without the fallout of conventional warfare. But beneath the technical marvel and touted advantages lies a web of intrigue. What forces drive the rapid advancement of these energy-based tools of war? Are they merely the next evolution in defense, or do they herald a darker age of conflict, where unseen and undetectable beams can target infrastructure, machinery, or even the human mind? This case file, join the Theorists as they pierce the veil of secrecy, delving deep into the pulse-beaming world of…Directed Energy Weapons

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Every other Sunday, Join The Theorists Live for straight theorizing and shenanigans.

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2017, the year of "Batterygate," when tech company titan Apple confesses to intentionally slowing down older iPhones through software updates, igniting public uproar and legal scrutiny. Is this a mere misstep, or a calculated element of a deeper strategy. Each iOS update, each annual product release, seems woven into a grander design to keep consumers ensnared in a never-ending loop of need and waste. As we navigate this engineered maze of fading batteries and obsolete devices, questions loom large. Could this pattern be more than just a drive for profit? What other forces lie behind this cycle, encouraging a culture of endless consumption and environmental toll? This case file, join the Theorists as they dissect the Apple orchard to reveal the rot at the heart of... The iConspiracy: Unplugging the Secrets of Planned Obsolescence.

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July 11th 2023, the district of Alto Nanay deep within the primordial jungles of Peru. The local members of the indigenous population were pitched into abject terror as their community came under siege from mysterious visitors. Reports of villagers being dragged into the shadows and accosted by beings that seemingly floated through the air and were impervious to firearms. The creatures seemed to be covered in scaly green armor and yet were able to disappear at will. Were these apparitions the true form of local urban legends or returning off-world visitors? This case file, join the Theorists as they clear up their pores with treatment from… The Peruvian Face Peelers

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Kitami, a tranquil city in the northern reaches of Hokkaido, Japan, 1974. Local resident Yoshiro Fujiwara is abruptly awakened, not by the familiar sounds of his quaint farm, but by an uninvited guest from the stars. Soon, tales of levitation, psychic phenomena, and interstellar journeys would ripple through the community. As whispers turned to shouts, the nation found itself ensnared by tales of bipedal octopus dwarves and otherworldly voyages. Was this the result of an overactive imagination, or a genuine encounter from beyond our world? As news of his encounters spread, skeptics and believers alike were drawn into the enigma. This case file, join the Theorists as they journey beyond the familiar, diving into the heart of another of Japan's cosmic mysteries in... The Kitami invaders

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1985, the world is grappling with the specter of Cold War tensions, and the United States finds itself entangled in a complex web of secrets and deceit. Amidst the chaos of multiple geopolitical battlegrounds, a clandestine alliance begins to take shape, orchestrated by a shadowy network of government officials, covert operatives, and rogue personalities. The CIA became the conduit for which a stream of illegal weapons and drugs would move across the borders of countries and into the hands of rebel forces and terrorist groups. As congressional investigations would light on these blatantly illegal activities, at least one reporter attempted to make the deeper connection into the crack cocaine epidemic plaguing the inner cities of the U.S. This case file, join the Theorists as they take to the slopes and catch a few speedballs with spooks in…Drug Wheelin’ and Dealin’ in the CIA

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They said aliens are real, but no one seems to care. Why not?

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In the early hours of September 4. 1967, numerous reports were speeding across the wire of strange objects being found all across southern England. 6 sIlver, seemingly other-worldy, objects of unknown origin had suddenly appeared overnight. The objects were found in gardens, golf courses, and some even retrieved by local police were reported to emit a high pitched wailing noise. Reports of lights coming down from the sky, preceding the arrival of some of these devices, lent support to the idea that these things were not entirely of Earthly origin. The British government dispatched investigators and aircraft within hours of learning of the appearance of these mysterious craft and would be shocked to learn of how the objects had been handled with seemingly utter disregard for the safety of the local communities in which they appeared. This case file, join the Theorists as they crack a few silver eggs to make an alien omelet in…The Great Britain Saucer Invasion of 1967

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On the rugged slopes of the majestic Mount St. Helens, a place of unparalleled beauty and treacherous allure, lies a haunting chapter in the annals of American history. In the early 1920s, a group of intrepid prospectors embarked on an expedition to try and strike it rich upon the high and isolated mountain slopes. As they ventured further into the wild expanse, the prospectors began to witness eerie phenomena that defied all rational explanation. Strange footprints, larger than any known animal, appeared near their campsite. Unidentifiable whistling and loud knocking sounds seemed to accompany the men as they traveled through the mountain valleys and forests. When the men would finally return to civilization, after almost two years on the mountain slopes, they would bring back a harrowing tale of a night where they were attacked by a tribe of exceptionally large, hairy, humanoids. This case file, join the Theorists as they get a little cabin fever while discussing…The Battle of Ape Canyon

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Dan fell asleep, so Braden, Andrew and Zel went wild on theories and controversial topics. Listener beware.

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